Fight for Government Accountability Over Warrantless Wiretapping

Early last week, EFF asked for your help fighting the Obama
Administration’s cover-up of the Bush Administration’s warrantless
wiretapping program. In the week since we sent that appeal, we’ve seen further confirmation that the warrantless wiretapping situation is just as bad as we feared.

Help EFF fight to protect your civil liberties now:

http://secure.eff.org/wiretapping

On Wednesday evening, an article in the New York Times revealed
astounding abuses of NSA surveillance powers. According to the Times,

“The National Security Agency intercepted private e-mail messages and phone calls of Americans in recent months on a scale that went beyond the broad legal limits established by Congress last year,” resulting in a “significant and systemic” “overcollection” of domestic communications of Americans.

These revelations are just the latest confirmation that the NSA’s
surveillance dragnet is sweeping in the domestic phone calls and
emails of ordinary Americans in violation of the law. It is
imperative that there be strict oversight to ensure that the
government does not abuse its unprecedented access to the domestic networks that carry all of our most private communications. Increasingly, the courts — and in particular, EFF’s lawsuits against the NSA and the telecoms that cooperate with it — appear to be our only hope for government accountability and transparency when it comes
to warrantless wiretapping.

Please support EFF in our efforts to hold the government accountable for illegal surveillance against innocent Americans:

http://secure.eff.org/wiretapping

Sincerely,
Electronic Frontier Foundation

EFFector Vol. 22, No. 10 April 10, 2009

EFFector Vol. 22, No. 10 April 10, 2009 editor@eff.org

A Publication of the Electronic Frontier Foundation
ISSN 1062-9424

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In our 505th issue:

* THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION HAS EMBRACED BUSH’S POSITION ON
WARANTLESS WIRETAPPING, and goes one step further than the
previous administration. In a motion to dismiss Jewel v.
NSA, the Obama Administration’s Department of Justice (DOJ)
made two deeply troubling arguments.

First, they argued, exactly as the Bush Administration did
on countless occasions, that the state secrets privilege
requires the court to dismiss the issue out of hand. They
asserted that simply allowing the case to continue “would
cause exceptionally grave harm to national security.” As in
the past, this is a blatant ploy to dismiss the litigation
without allowing the courts to consider the evidence.

Second, the DOJ claimed that the U.S. Government is
completely immune from litigation for illegal spying
because the USA PATRIOT Act renders the U.S. immune from
suit under the two remaining key federal surveillance laws:
the Wiretap Act and the Stored Communications Act. This is
a radical assertion that is utterly unprecedented. No one
— not the White House, not the Justice Department, not any
member of Congress, and not the Bush Administration — has
ever interpreted the law this way.

This isn’t change we can believe in. This is change for the
worse.

For the full blog post:
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/obama-doj-worse-than-bush

For the press release:
http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2009/04/05

For Kevin Bankston on “Countdown With Keith Olbermann”:
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/bankston-on-olbermann

For Keith Olbermann on Obama and Wiretapping:
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/keith-olbermann-obama-and-wiretapping

* EFF AND OTHERS HAVE CALLED FOR OBAMA TO DIVERSIFY IP
APPOINTMENTS. Several of the president’s recent appointees
to positions that oversee intellectual property policy have
represented the recording industry or other industries that
support overly broad IP protection. But many positions with
IP policy responsibilities have not yet been filled.

The coalition urged the administration to appoint
individuals representing the diversity of stakeholders
involved in IP issues, and also called on the president to
create new positions dedicated to promoting innovation and
advancing the cause of progress in sciences and the useful
arts.

For the full press release:
http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2009/04/02

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EFF Updates

* Disability Access Activists Gather to Protest Kindle DRM
Hundreds of people gathered in front of the headquarters of
The Authors Guild in New York City to protest the removal
of text-to-speech capabilities in Amazon’s new Kindle 2.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/protest-kindle-drm

* Michigan Rep. Calls for RFID Review
Michigan Rep. Paul Opsommer wants to know why Michigan is
set to issue new Enhanced Drivers’ Licenses that include
long-range RFID technology.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/michigan-rep-calls-rfid-review

* Stating the Case Against DRM to the FTC
EFF Staff Attorney Corynne McSherry testified at the FTC’s
town hall meeting on DRM, recommending that the FTC study
DRM’s effect on competition.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/stating-case-against-drm-ftc

* AP Invokes DMCA Against Obama “Hope” Poster Artist
The AP claims that Shepard Fairey violated the Digital
Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) in the creation of his
famous poster.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/ap-uses-dmca-intimidate-hope-artist

* Court Expands Trademark Rights, Restricts Consumer Search
The Second Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that a
trademark owner can sue Google for trademark infringement
for selling its mark as a keyword as part of the AdWords
program.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/second-circuit-expands-trademark-rights-restricts-

* EU Copyright Term Extension Battle Heats Up
At least eleven countries’ COREPER representatives voted
against a proposal to extend sound copyright in the EU —
enough votes to block the proposal.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/every-vote-counts-eu-copyright-term-extension-batt

* Observations from the Three-Strikes Rumor Storm
Though there appears to be no need for immediate concern
that customers could be targeted for disconnection, the
rumors and subsequent responses from ISPs reveal important
information about the state of play for three strikes.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/observations-three-strikes-rumor-storm

* Warner Music Targeting More than YouTube
ZDNet columnist Jason Perlow reports that Warner Music came
after his wife’s video slideshow on Vimeo, another video
hosting site.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/warner-music-targeting-more-youtube

* iPods, First Sale, Obama, and the Queen of England
President Obama reportedly gave an iPod, loaded with 40
show tunes, to England’s Queen Elizabeth II as a gift. Did
he violate the law when he did so?
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/first-sale-president-obama-and-queen-england

* More on Choruss, Pro and Con
The public debates about Choruss have begun, with those on
both sides contributing valuable thoughts about the
advantages and disadvantages of Choruss.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/more-choruss-pro-and-con

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miniLinks

~ Social Network Sites “Monitored” in UK
The UK government proposed rules that would allow the use
of social networking sites to monitor criminal activity.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/7962631.stm

~ Freedom on the Net
Freedom House takes comprehensive look at government
tactics for controlling communications around the world.
http://www.freedomhouse.org/template.cfm?page=383&report=79&group=19

~ “Playmobil Priest” Faces Company’s Wrath
A priest who transformed Playmobil figures into biblical
characters is facing copyright infringement claims.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5hJAL_5AKOH4SHJ1rzWy5w8q16Gig

For more miniLinks:
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/minilinks-2009-04-10

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Announcements

* Come See EFF at RSA and MySQL!

EFF will be at two conferences this April: RSA and MySQL.
Come and see us at RSA, April 20-24, or at MySQL, April
21-22. Whichever conference you attend, please visit our
booth and grab some EFF swag during exhibit hours. We look
forward to seeing you!

For more information on RSA:
http://www.rsaconference.com/2009/us/index.htm

For more information on MySQL:
http://www.mysqlconf.com/mysql2009

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Administrivia

EFFector is published by:
The Electronic Frontier Foundation
http://www.eff.org/about

Editor:
Sara Bassett, Membership Services Assistant
sara@eff.org

Membership & donation queries:
membership@eff.org

To support EFF:
secure.eff.org/donate

General EFF, legal, policy, or online resources queries:
information@eff.org

Back issues of EFFector are available at:
http://www.eff.org/effector/

To change your email address:
http://action.eff.org/addresschange

To support EFF:
secure.eff.org/donate

Reproduction of this publication in electronic media is
encouraged. This newsletter is printed on 100% recycled
electrons.

Electronic Frontier Foundation 03/2009

I like to keep tabs on what the government and corporate beings out there are trying to do to invade our privacy or limit our freedoms through the internet and technology. EFF fights for all of us and have our best interest at heart. Check them out just so you know what the issues are and how they affect you and yours.

A Publication of the Electronic Frontier Foundation
ISSN 1062-9424

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In our 503rd issue:

* EFF LAUNCHED A SEARCH TOOL FOR UNCOVERED GOVERNMENT
DOCUMENTS as part of our celebration of Sunshine Week. The
search tool is sophisticated technology that allows the
public to closely examine thousands of pages of documents
we have pried loose from secretive government agencies. In
addition, we’re posting scores of never-before seen
documents on several controversial government initiatives,
including the FBI’s Investigative Data Warehouse and DCS
3000 surveillance program, and the Department of Homeland
Security’s Automated Targeting System and ADVISE
data-mining project.

Over the past two and a half years, EFF has filed hundreds
of FOIA requests and made thousands of pages of once-secret
documents available to the public on our website. Our FOIA
work has revealed details about the FBI’s improper use of
National Security Letters, uncovered the Department of
Homeland Security’s internal policies on searching and
interrogating travelers at the border, and revealed
information about the technology the government uses to
wiretap cell phones.

The release of these new documents is just one step in the
ongoing fight for greater government transparency. EFF will
continue to pressure the government to remember its
obligations to transparency and to the public.

To support EFF’s FOIA work:
secure.eff.org/foia

For the full press release:
http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2009/03/16

More on our celebration of Sunshine Week:
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/foia
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/sunshine-week-commonsense-transparency-readthebill
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/sunshine-week-october-11-2002-nsa-surveillance-mem
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/sunshine-week-february-8-2002-nsa-surveillance-mem
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/sunshine-week-missing-documents-nsa-surveillance
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/sunshine-week-traffic-analysis-fall-2004

* ANONMYITY AND PRIVACY SHOULD NOT ADD UP TO PRISON TIME,
EFF argued before the United States Sentencing Commission
this week. EFF urged the court to reject modifications to
federal sentencing guidelines that would require extra
prison time for people who use technology that hides one’s
identity or location. Under current rules, a criminal
defendant can get additional time added to a prison
sentence if he used “sophisticated means” to commit the
offense.

In its testimony before the commission, EFF argued that
sentencing courts should not assume that using proxies —
technologies that can anonymize users or mask their
location — is a mark of sophistication. In fact, proxies
are widely employed by corporate IT departments and public
libraries and, like many computer applications, can be used
with little or no knowledge on the part of the user.
For the full press release:
http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2009/03/17

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EFF Updates

* EFF Urges Court to Block Ploy for Cell Phone Location
EFF urged a U.S. appeals court Monday to block the
government’s repeated attempts to seize cell phone location
information — a record of where the cell phone user
travels throughout each day — without a warrant in
violation of communications privacy statutes and the
Constitution.

http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2009/03/17-0

* Attorney General Sets New FOIA Policy
The new FOIA guidelines released this week by Eric Holder
express strong support for government transparency and
establish a presumption in favor of disclosure of
information requested under FOIA.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/attorney-general-sets-new-foia-policy-its-impact-r

* CNET Axes Blogger Who Exposed Whitehouse.gov Privacy
Issue
CNET will no longer carry Surveillance State by Chris
Soghoian, an blogger who produced some of the best coverage
on the issue of privacy for users of government websites.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/cnets-fails-stand-blogger

* DOJ Seeks Jail Time for Music Sharing
The government asked for a six-month prison sentence for
Kevin Cogill, who recently plead guilty to a pre-release
leak of the Guns N’ Roses album Chinese Democracy.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/doj-seeks-jail-time-music-sharing

* The Fair Use Massacre Continues
Thanks to the good folks at YouTomb, we’ve learned that
Warner Music’s automated takedown net has now caught two
videos of little kids being little kids.
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/03/fair-use-massacre-continues-now-warner-s-going-aft

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miniLinks

~ Pentagon Official Warns of Risk of Cyber Attacks
An Air Force general made the case that the US is
vulnerable to attack, but says the military has not been
asked to defend Internet infrastructure.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/17/AR2009031702715.html

~ Partial List of Corporations Allowed to See ACTA
The public and activist groups don’t have access to the
secret copyright treaty, but these corporations do.

Partial list of corporate lickspittles who are allowed to know what’s in the secret copyright treaty the Obama administration claims is a matter of “national security”

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Announcements

* You’re Invited to a “Geek Reading” with Authors Cory
Doctorow, Rudy Rucker, Annalee Newitz, and Charlie Anders
at 111 Minna Gallery

Join EFF on Monday, March 23rd, for a fundraising event
featuring award-winning writer Cory Doctorow. Cory will be
reading from his novel, “Little Brother,” a story of
high-tech teenage rebellion set in the familiar world of
San Francisco. As he currently calls the UK home, this is
a rare opportunity to to hear Cory read from his work in
person. He will be joined by fellow writers Rudy Rucker,
Annalee Newitz and Charlie Anders reading from their latest
works.

WHEN:

Monday, March 23rd, at 7:30 p.m.

WHO:

Cory Doctorow (craphound.com) is a science fiction
novelist, blogger and technology activist. He is the
co-editor of the popular weblog Boing Boing
(boingboing.net), and a contributor to Wired, Popular
Science, Make, the New York Times, and many other
newspapers, magazines and websites. Cory is an EFF fellow
and the former Director of European Affairs at EFF. He has
won the Locusand Sunburst Awards and been nominated for the
Hugo, Nebula and British Science Fiction Awards. His
latest novel, New York Times Bestseller “Little Brother,”
was published in May 2008, and his latest short story
collection is “Overclocked: Stories of the Future Present.”

Rudy Rucker is a popular science fiction and nonfiction
writer. Born in Kentucky in 1946, Rudy studied
mathematics, earning a Ph.D. from Rutgers University in the
theory of infinite sets. After working 15 years as a
mathematics professor on the East Coast, Rudy moved to
Silicon Valley in 1986 to become a computer science
professor at San Jose State University, also working as a
software engineer at Autodesk, Inc. After some 20 years at
SJSU, Rudy retired from teaching. Rudy has published 29
books, including five non-fiction popular science books on
such topics as relativity, infinity, the fourth dimension,
and information. “The Lifebox, the Seashell, and the
Soul”–his most recent nonfiction book–is about the
meaning of computation.

Annalee Newitz is a journalist who covers the cultural
impact of science and technology, covering such topics as
open source software and hacker subcultures. Annalee
writes for many periodicals, including Popular Science and
Wired, and since 1999 has had a syndicated weekly column
called Techsploitation. From 2004-2005, Annalee was a
policy analyst for the Electronic Frontier Foundation. She
is the editor of io9, a Gawker-owned science fiction blog.

Charlie Jane Anders blogs about science fiction at io9.com.
She organizes the Writers With Drinks reading series and is
starting a weekly podcast called “I Am So Smart.” Her
writing has appeared most recently in “The McSweeney’s Joke
Book Of Book Jokes,” Mother Jones magazine, and the
upcoming “Science Fiction: The Best of the Year, 2009
Edition.” Charlie wrote a novel called “Choir Boy” and
co-edited an anthology called “She’s Such a Geek.” Find
her on Twitter as “charliejane.”

WHERE:

111 Minna Gallery
111 Minna St. @ 2nd
San Francisco, CA 94105

Admission is $25. No one turned away for lack of funds.
Must be 21 or older to attend.

RSVP to: events@eff.org

111 Minna Gallery is accessible via BART. Get off at the
Montgomery station and use the exit marked 2nd and Market.
Walk south on 2nd Street until you reach 111 Minna Gallery
on the right. It’s also walking distance from the Caltrain
station.
: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . :

Administrivia

EFFector is published by:
The Electronic Frontier Foundation
http://www.eff.org/about

Editor:
Sara Bassett, Membership Services Assistant
sara@eff.org

Membership & donation queries:
membership@eff.org

To support EFF:
secure.eff.org/donate

General EFF, legal, policy, or online resources queries:
information@eff.org

Back issues of EFFector are available at:
http://www.eff.org/effector/

To support EFF:
secure.eff.org/donate

Reproduction of this publication in electronic media is
encouraged. This newsletter is printed on 100% recycled
electrons.

That Which Cannot Be Named

That Which Cannot Be Named

Consumed by wanting,

Although for exactly what, I am uncertain.

Maybe its’ just a craving for life,

A need to feel truly alive.

I feel as if a wild animal exists inside of me,

Scratching and screaming,

Trying to claw its’ way out.

It’s called passion, but sometimes it’s more like poison.

It makes me restless,

As one confined in a cage,

With just enough space to pace,

Back  and forth,

Along the bars, waiting for a chance,

To escape.

I know that it will come,

That day I will run free,

But not until I find the words,

To tame, what has no name.

Only then will there be peace

And an end to its torturing plea.

It’s like a lion,

Roaring in the dark void of my mind.

My soul is beckoning me to find it,

Calling me into myself,

Daring me to search for the meaning

Of my existence.

Challenging me to define it.

It is a living fire within me,

One that can no longer be extinguished,

And I am being incinerated,

By its’ tempestuous flames.

The only time I get relief from its’ wrath,

Is when I am with you,

In your  presence, my soul feels at ease,

And the feeling disappears.

I become anxious at the thought of leaving you,

Knowing, that shortly, like a familiar friend

It will return,

And I will feel as if I’m being eaten alive,

By this ravenous hunger.

With you, I want to do all those things,

Imagined, but not yet said.

I want to turn my animal loose on you,

Not holding back anything.

If you let me come close enough,

Will I burn you with these scorching flames?

Am I brave enough to quell this beast within me?

Are you?

The Journey – Part 1 – Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Rating: NC-17

Trip had been busy. He had the quartermaster make him a Vulcan robe. It was the same color blue as T’Pol’s favorite shirt of his. She said it brought out the color of his eyes, which were her favorite feature. He contacted Soval for help on what they would need to do to complete the bond. Soval told him what to say and offered to teach him the Vulcan translation, but Trip said he’d do it in English. He only had three days left, and it had taken him a week, with T’Pol repeating the words in his head all day, to remember his greeting for Soval. Trip wanted to learn Vulcan but not right now.

He also questioned Soval about arranging an official Vulcan ceremony and how much time he’d need to do it. Soval said he could arrange for it to be held when they came to Vulcan, if they let him know 3-4 days in advance. Trip said he’d get back to him after he talked to T’Pol. Soval asked if anyone else would be attending the ceremony, and Trip told him no; they were keeping their relationship as quiet as possible for now and hadn’t decided if or when that would change. He told Soval if they had a ceremony, and he was going to be on Vulcan, he was invited to join them. Soval said, “Of course I will be on Vulcan. Mr. Tucker, do you think I would abandon you when you are to meet with the High Council for the first time?” Trip smiled at that. Who would have ever thought he and the Ambassador would be friends.

Trip found what he wanted for the table setting and asked Chef if he could prepare T’Pol’s favorite Vulcan meal. Chef let him know he had gotten the recipe and had all the ingredients. He talked to the quartermaster again to find out if he knew of anyone on board Enterprise who might have red wine. The quartermaster gave him three names. An Ensign in the Armory had several bottles and let him purchase one of them. Now he needed to talk to Malcolm. He had one day left. He tracked him down in the Rec room. “Hey Mal, how’s it going?”

Stalling, Trip brought up their training. “Pick a night next week for that Bat’leth practice.”

“How about Wednesday at 20:00?”

“No problem. I’ll let T’Pol and Hoshi know.”

“Don’t worry about Hoshi; I’ll talk to her about it.”

“Anything you want to tell me?” Trip asked teasingly.

“We’re friends, Trip.” Malcolm was a little nervous.

Something in Malcolm’s tone said ‘leave it alone.’ “Okay, I won’t pry.” Trip took a deep breath. “Mal, I need a big favor. And I can’t tell you why I need the favor.”

“What’s the favor?”

“I need you to do whatever you can to make sure that from 18:00 tomorrow, no one disturbs me in my quarters for as long as possible, unless we’re attacked or something.”

“Can I assume that whatever you’re going to be doing is important?” Malcolm knew that it must be or Trip wouldn’t have asked otherwise.

“Yes, it is and I promise I’ll tell you all about it as soon as I can, but I just can’t right now. If you do this, I need it to be between you and me.”

“I can do that unless the Captain were to ask any questions or try to contact you.” Then Malcolm knew he had to ask one more question. “T’Pol wouldn’t have anything to do with this, by any chance?”

“Can we just leave any speculation out of this for now? I know I’m asking a lot, but I need some time to take care of something very important to me, and I’m asking my friend to help me out. If you’d rather not, I understand, and I’ll forget this conversation ever happened.”

Malcolm looked at Trip. He marveled at Trip’s ability to bounce back and still have that sense of wonder about visiting new places and meeting new people after all the mishaps and loss he had suffered in the last 3 years. He was grateful to have his friend back, and whatever was going on in his life lately had been nothing but good for him, so Malcolm knew ‘yes’ could be his only answer. “I’ll take care of it. Make sure you’re inside at 18:00, and I’ll have the security system screw up and lose your quarters until you comm me to fix it. No one will be able to get in or out without going through me.”

“Thanks, Mal. I won’t forget this.”

“You bet you won’t. You owe me big.”

Trip left and went to T’Pol’s. He had been there earlier to take her robe to his room. He wouldn’t let her into his quarters early because he wanted to surprise her. He thought about discussing with her whether or not to tell Malcolm about their new relationship but decided to wait. He didn’t want anything to spoil tomorrow. T’Pol finished meditating, climbed under the covers, and snuggled up against Trip; thus they fell asleep.

The alarm went off. Trip hadn’t even opened his eyes, but he knew T’Pol wasn’t there. The shower was running. He sensed her through the bond, and she was nervous. There were so many conflicting emotions that he was having trouble identifying them and who they belonged to. He tried to calm his mind and send calm through the bond. T’Pol felt it and settled somewhat. Trip tried to get a sense of what she was nervous about, but she had him blocked out. He didn’t like it when she blocked him out, but he knew sometimes it was necessary, especially when their emotions were running high. He was nervous but in a good way. Completing the bond didn’t make him nervous, as they’d been bonded long enough now that he knew that wasn’t it. T’Pol had said the bond would be better, somehow. He didn’t understand how, though, because the connection they already had was strong. Maybe his nerves were because of a new sense of responsibility he had. He was now responsible for someone other than himself. That had been true since Phlox told them the bond was already permanent, but now he would be saying that out loud.

T’Pol had been quiet at breakfast and was now at lunch, and Trip wondered if something was wrong. Before he could ask, Phlox stopped by their table. “Good afternoon, Commanders.”

“Hey, Doc.”

“Mind if I join you?” Phlox asked, pointing at a chair.

T’Pol looked up over her cup but said nothing. Trip responded, “Sure, go ahead. Is there a problem?”

“Oh, no, I just wanted to see if you were both alright. It’s been…” Phlox paused, trying to figure something out. He continued, “…almost 3 weeks since I’ve seen either one of you. That’s a new record for you, Commander Tucker.”

“Gee, thanks, Doc. Can’t say I miss visiting. I haven’t really left the ship much, so I’m not likely to get beat up or catch some strange disease.”

“You were on the Zellerite ship for several days and toured the Coridan ship, and in the past, you’ve managed to injure yourself without leaving the ship.”

Trip could feel amusement and worry both, coming from T’Pol. “I haven’t exactly been working in engineering much lately, and when I am, it seems I’m doing paperwork.”

Phlox turned his attention to T’Pol. “Commander T’Pol, I assume you’ve fully recovered from the affects of that parasite?’

“Yes, Doctor, I have.”

“No headaches?”

Trip and T’Pol answered in unison. “None.” That wasn’t totally the truth, but they didn’t want to get into shielding and the bond with the Doctor—and certainly not in the mess hall.

Phlox seemed satisfied that they were both doing fine, got up, and started to walk away. “Things seem to be working out. Now I have to get back, as it’s feeding time. Commander Tucker, glad to see you took my advice and stopped drinking coffee.” With that, he was gone.

Trip looked at T’Pol. “You’re the one who got me to stop drinking coffee, aren’t you? That first morning I drank green tea with mint was because you wanted it.” Trip thought back to that day and then added, “No, you didn’t want it, but you kept thinking about it so that I would want it.”

T’Pol’s eyebrow lifted slightly. She was smiling through the bond. “I can influence you through the bond but only if you wish to allow it. When I suggested the tea, you knew of the bond but were not fully aware of it. I took advantage so as to try and help you with the headaches and stress you were feeling. I can no longer do that, as you would be aware.” She didn’t tell him about the cheesecake and Chamomile tea. He’d sipped his tea that night, but he hadn’t liked the taste. It was too sweet, so she had suggested another flavor to him. She would have kept it up until he’d found something he liked.

“Well, it turned out to be a good thing, although I have changed the green tea with mint to equal parts green tea and mint. Glad to hear you can’t make me do things I don’t want to do.”

T’Pol looked up at him over her cup, thinking to herself, if things went as she hoped tonight, she would not need to even ask him do anything; the bond would take care of them both.

Back on the bridge, Malcolm kept watching T’Pol. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was different. She appeared to be working at her station, but she really wasn’t concentrating. He’d noticed Hoshi watching her, too. T’Pol never socialized on the bridge, but she had become more relaxed. She still stood up very straight, but her shoulders hadn’t been as tense as they used to be. Today the tension in her whole upper body was noticeable. Malcolm knew she had something to do with whatever Trip had going on tonight. At first, he’d thought maybe they just wanted a quiet, undisturbed, romantic evening together, but Trip wouldn’t have asked for Malcolm’s help so they could have sex. Trip was a southern gentleman, as he liked to say, but asking the head of security to lock down your quarters was over the top, even for Trip. He and Hoshi had discussed whether or not they were a couple or just friends but hadn’t been able to come to any conclusion for certain. Malcolm was sure they were together, but he hadn’t been able to tell Hoshi he thought that because he’d promised Trip he’d keep this evening between them.

Malcolm’s thoughts then drifted to Hoshi. When they were in her quarters watching another episode of ‘Fawlty Towers,” he saw an empty vase sitting next to two yellow roses and a card pressed between clear plastic, as if Hoshi were saving them. He read the card: “beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.” It wasn’t signed. Was she seeing someone? He was sure if she was, it wasn’t anyone aboard Enterprise, as he would have noticed that. He didn’t know if there was someone back on Earth, though. Whoever gave her the flowers must be important to her, or why would she save them? Now he just needed to get enough courage to ask her about them. This was why he avoided relationships. He didn’t know what to do or say when it came to women. In the past, he’d always just dumped the girl before it got serious, just to avoid getting to close. He’d considered doing that with Hoshi, but he couldn’t do it. She had managed to get past most of his defenses, and he didn’t know how to put them back up. For the first time in his life he really didn’t want to even try.

Trip wasn’t even pretending to work anymore. After lunch, when he got back to engineering, he tried working on the torpedo specs he and Malcolm were still trying to get right, but the figures didn’t make sense. And when he tried to visualize the design in his head, he couldn’t. He finally gave up. He crawled into a Jefferies tube to do some maintenance, but after dropping his tools several times, he realized his mind was focused everywhere else but on the tasks at hand; so he decided to call it quits before did more damage to the conduits or himself and ended up in sickbay.

The shift ended. Trip arrived at his quarters first. He quickly covered everything, so T’Pol wouldn’t see what he had done. He jumped in the shower, and when he was done, he came out of the bathroom dressed in his underwear and greeted T’Pol as she came in. “Hi, darlin. You can take a shower and change in the bathroom, while I finish up out here. Your robe is hanging in the closet.”

T’Pol looked around the room, nodded her head and went to shower and change. Trip took the covering off the table, lit the candles, poured them each a glass of wine, and turned on romantic music, adjusting the volume so it was playing very softly in the background. The door chime sounded. Trip waited a moment to be sure the crewman who delivered dinner had time to leave, then opened the door and brought the cart inside. He placed their dinner on the table and put the empty cart outside in the corridor. The clock said it was 17:45. He ran through everything to be sure there was no reason for them to leave his quarters. He was sure he had everything. He put on his robe. He actually liked it. It was light and comfortable, not at all like the robe he wore back on Vulcan. Koss came to mind. He needed to think about something else. This was not a good time to think of T’Pol marrying anybody else. Tonight would help erase that memory from his mind forever. The only other memory he’d like to change is from the Fire Plains. He’d loved it there, even though it was hot and he hated deserts. As soon as T’Pol told him about Koss, he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. They’d have to go back there when they went to Vulcan. He wanted to remember it as the romantic place he had felt it was when he first saw it.

T’Pol stepped out of the bathroom, and Trip just stared at her. He had been right. She looked beautiful in her robe. “Wow, you are beautiful.” He had picked this one not because it was formal, but because it was a light gold with red trim. Red was his favorite color on T’Pol, and he suspected it was hers, also although she probably wouldn’t admit it. She’d tell him what she thought looked good on him but never what she herself looked good in.

T’Pol looked at his robe. “You look rather handsome yourself. The color is pleasing,” she said as she looked from the robe to his eyes.

“I thought you might say that.” He pulled out her chair. “Would you like to sit down?” She kissed him lightly then sat down.

He sat down. “I got wine. I know you don’t usually drink it, but you told me once you liked red wine if it had a little kick to it.”

She raised her glass toward Trip, and as he picked his up and touched it against hers, she said, “To us.”

He reached across and lifted the cover off her plate. He couldn’t pronounce what the dish was called, but the look on her face told him she knew what is was. “Where did you get this?”

“I had help. I described it to Soval, and he told me what it was. I gave the name to Chef, and he got the recipe from somebody. I didn’t ask. You know how he is. Never gives away his secrets.” As she ate, he could tell she liked it.

They finished dinner and Trip got up, moved the candles to various places around the room, cleared the dishes to his desk, handed T’Pol her wine glass, then folded up the table. He took the cushions and laid them on the floor and motioned for T’Pol to sit. He grabbed a small dish then sat across from her. “Chef said to tell you to eat these while drinking the wine.” He reached across and touched her bottom lip with the chocolate covered raspberry. “He said the chocolate is a little sweeter than what you like, but with the wine and the raspberry, you’d like it.” T’Pol bit into the raspberry and let the chocolate melt against her tongue. Trip raised his wine glass to her lips and watched as she let the wine mix with the chocolate and the fruit. The look in her eyes said all he needed. She was enjoying this. “I didn’t know how much you like bittersweet chocolate, Chef says you’re like every other woman he’s ever met, but you keep it a secret, so he makes you little treats and sends them to you in your quarters so nobody knows you have a sweet tooth.”

“I do not have a sweet tooth. I did not eat sweets until I met you, and now I only occasionally indulge myself. It is not a secret that I like bittersweet chocolate. Malcolm knows, as he was present when Chef gave me some candies he had made. When Malcolm asked if they were bittersweet chocolate, and I said yes, he asked if he could try one, as that was his favorite sweet.”

Trip put another treat to T’Pol lips, and as he watched her sip her wine, he tasted one himself. “I’ll bet you have a stash of chocolate treats in your quarters somewhere. Do you want more of these now, or should we save them for later?”

T’Pol didn’t answer. She simply placed her wine glass on the desk, took Trip’s and did the same, then moved the dish of raspberries. She turned and looked directly into Trip’s eyes. “I am going to initiate the meld now.” She waited to see if he would object. When he didn’t, she added, “I will place my hand on your face, and you will need to place yours on my face the same way. Relax your mind.”

T’Pol touched his face with her fingers and found the correct placement. Trip did the same, and once she felt his fingers in the right position, she said, “My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.”

Trip felt a rush of thoughts and feelings. His and hers swirling around, faster and faster; he was dizzy. He couldn’t stop it. Then he felt T’Pol’s mind begin to slow it all down. All became calm, and T’Pol was standing before him. She waited a minute then asked. “Are you ready to complete our bond?”

Trip knelt down, and T’Pol followed and knelt down across from him. Trip spoke, “parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched.”

T’Pol responded with, “parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched.”

Together they said, “We are one.”

T’Pol was in his mind. His memories were like pictures flashing by, with emotions attached, as T’Pol took them in. His childhood: Lizzie, his sister Alex, and Brother Joseph running on the beach, scuba diving. His first dance: The one time he lied to his dad, about prom night. The band he, his brother, and cousins were in. Him tearing apart whatever engine he could find and putting it back together. The hours he spent in his late teens teaching himself to be an engineer. Starfleet academy: Jonathan and A.G at the 602 club, then their unauthorized test flight. His commission on Enterprise. His first meeting with T’Pol. His anger at her for dissing him, but also his attraction to her. His pregnancy. Telling T’Pol to make her own decision, but really hoping she’d stay on Enterprise. He and Malcolm in the shuttlepod drunk. Lizzie’s death: The anger, the hate, and need for revenge, his despair and his finally beginning to let her go.

The beginnings of his realizing how he felt for T’Pol. Every time he was afraid or desperate because she was in danger. His need to tease and goad her, to hide his growing feelings. The friendship and closeness he counted on. Their night together, and her rejection of him the next day. Lorian and the other Enterprise. The hope he felt for a future with T’Pol after talking to his son. The loss he felt when the E2 didn’t make it out with them. T’Pol’s marriage, her mother’s death, his sadness at what he began to believe could never be. His utter feeling of hopelessness when he transferred to Columbia. Confusion and frustration when he couldn’t get her out of his head. The joy he felt when she asked him to return and kissed him. Elizabeth and the devastation at the loss of another child. Wanting to help T’Pol, but her pushing him away. His decision to give up on a romantic relationship with T’Pol and work on just being the best friend he could. His fear when she finally told him about their bond and admitted she had feelings for him. Then the fear was gone, and all that was left was his acceptance, protectiveness, trust, and love for T’Pol.

Then came T’Pol’s memories. Hours of training to control her emotions. Sitting at a computer doing drills on math, science, and logic. Her working with her father and being disciplined by her mother. Her father’s death. Her time with the intelligence service. Her time at P’Jem. Her appointment to Enterprise. Her first meeting with the Captain and Trip. Her turning her back on him and her attraction to him. Tolaris, Silik, Rajiin, the Orions. Her delight in play-acting when she needed to get Enterprise or the crew out of trouble. Her fear whenever Trip was lost or hurt. Sim and her knowing Trip had feelings for her. Sitting at his bedside in sickbay in the middle of the night, holding his hand. Their night together: the cascade of feelings during sex and fear of losing control afterwards. Her belief that pushing him away was best for them both. Meeting Lorian and her older self on the other Enterprise. The despair at the loss of Lorian, but hope for a future with Trip.

Her marriage and the emptiness she felt as she repeated her vows. Her mother’s death and the overwhelming sadness. The Kir’Shara and trying to find meaning and control again. Koss divorcing her and wanting to go to Trip. Her crying when Phlox said it was hopeless; there was nothing he could do when Trip and Hoshi had that virus. Her fear and confusion when she found out he was transferring to Columbia, and then despair when he actually left. The recognition of their bond when Trip kept showing up during her meditation. The joy when she asked him to return to Enterprise and he said he already asked for a transfer back. The hopefulness when he said they had a lot of work to do. Her decision to talk to him. Elizabeth, the bond with her, and her utter and total despair at losing that connection and her daughter. Her inability to deal with her own dark feelings, having nothing left to deal with Trip’s. Her belief that their bond had died due to neglect and her decision to just be his friend. Her realization that their bond was still there and her acceptance that she was happy that it still existed. Her fear that he would want to sever the bond, but taking the risk and telling him about the bond and her desire to keep it. Then Trip felt all the warmth, acceptance, trust, and love she held for him.

They stood facing each other. Trip wrapped her in his arms. “I love you, T’Pol.”

Trip smiled and kissed her. She had never said she loved him. He felt it through the bond, but she had never told him. He accepted that she never would.

They kissed for some time until T’Pol pulled away slightly. “We have spent many nights here in our dreams, and it was pleasurable; but I would like to return to our room now.”

When they became aware of the room again, Trip expected the bond to feel different than it had during the meld, but it didn’t. T’Pol stood up and offered her hand to help Trip stand.

Trip stepped forward, wrapped his arms around T’Pol, and began moving to the music that was still playing in the background. He began whispering the words in her ear, “All that I am, all that I’ll be, means nothing at all, if you can’t be with me, your most innocent kiss, or your sweetest caress, seduces me. I don’t care about tomorrow, I’ve given up on yesterday, here and now is all that matters, right here with you is where I’ll stay.”

His warm breath lightly touched the top of her ear. He felt a shiver run down her back. His head lifted slightly so he could look into her eyes. He brought his trembling hand up to caress her face. The bond was becoming more active than ever before. Warmth, desire, and need were overtaking their senses. Trip kissed hers lips. Gently at first then the passion he’d felt for months began to exert itself. She responded with a passionate need of her own. He moved to kiss her ear, just barely touching the tip. Another shiver down her spine. Her hands were lightly massaging the back of his neck. They moved down to the front of his robe, searching for an opening. She found the button and unfastened it. Her eyes were closed as her hand began moving across his chest.

He continued teasing her ear with a mix of soft and slightly harder kisses, all the while blowing wisp of warm air into her ear and down the side of her neck. His kisses moved down her neck until he could no longer touch her skin. He moved across her neck to the other side. Kissing her ear and blowing warm breath on her now moist skin. The shiver he felt from her this time was stronger and seemed to run all the way down her body. He became aware she was trying to remove his robe. He stepped back to give her room as he put his hands on either side of her head; and rubbed his thumbs around her ears as he kissed her lips once again.

Trip felt the air hit his skin as the robe left his body. T’Pol’s hands were moving up his chest, back down to his waist, and around to the back as her nails barely touched him. She slowly ran them down the side of his neck and down his arms, back up to across his shoulders and up the back of his head. The sensations were building between them in the bond. The intensity grew, and they could no longer tell which were his and which were hers. The need to touch her skin overtook him. His hands moved down and undid the buttons of her robe and slowly slipped it off. She had on underwear and what looked like a tank top, but it only covered to just under her breast. He touched her stomach and traced around her belly button with his finger.

T’Pol moved around him and began kissing across his shoulders. Her tongue began running lightly over his skin. As she moved back and forth, her breath made him tremble as it reached his moistened skin. Then she moved to the top of his spine. She planted light kisses and began to nibble up the back of his neck. She found the spot she had been looking for. Trip’s body twitched hard as the sensation spread across his shoulders and down his back. He wondered how she knew where to touch him? Her fingers ran up his sides at the same time she found that spot on his neck again; the sensation went through his body and his knees buckled. She wrapped her arms around his chest to hold him up. She kept her arms around him and slid her body around to face him. He could feel himself becoming very hard. T’Pol pressed herself up against him and moved her hips back and forth across his body. His legs began to shake.

T’Pol removed the rest of her clothing, lifted Trip’s undershirt over his head, and then helped him out of his underwear. She lay down on the bed. Trip stood by the bed and looked at her laying there. He couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. He lowered himself to the bed and lay down beside her. He kissed her mouth and felt her lips part slightly; the tip of her tongue moved slowly across his lips. He let his own lips part and let the tip of his tongue make contact with hers. The kisses became deeper and their tongues were buried in each other’s mouths. Trip took her head in his hands and kissed her with a passionate hunger. He was lost in the sensation coursing through his body and the bond. T’Pol responded with equal force and pressed the full length of her body against him. When their skin touched, the heat between them intensified. Trip let out a moan. Every nerve ending in his body had been stimulated.

Her movement against him became more insistent. Her hands were in constant motion up and down his back. He moved his hand between them, under her breast, and moved his body away from her. He traced his fingers in circles across her skin, down to her waist, and back up again. He then moved up to her breast and circled around the nipple. He moistened his fingertips with his tongue and continued moving around her breast as he blew softly on the areas his fingers touch. He looked up at T’Pol. Her head was lying on the pillow, and her eyes were closed. There was a smile on her face. He kissed her neck then let the tip of his tongue run across her skin until it found the other breast. He took the nipple into his mouth and began sucking lightly. Her desire began to build, and he could feel her need growing. His hand rubbed her other nipple between his fingertips. He continued until he heard her moan and felt waves of desire in the bond. Her control was almost gone.

Trip moved over top of her and gently brought his body down on to hers. When their skin touched, it felt as if an electrical circuit had been completed, and the current began running through them. T’Pol reached up, took his face in her hands and brought his lips down to meet hers. She began pressing her body hard against him while moving her hips. Her hand slipped down and touched him. Her fingernail began tracing around the tip. This was almost more than he could handle. He let out a gasp. Her finger encircled him and began moving up and down. When her stroke went up she hesitated and slowly let her nail trace across the tip; then her hand moved back down. Trip fought the urge to just get lost in the sensations he was feeling. His hand found her breasts, and his mouth began sucking on her ear. His tongue darted in and out. Their breathing became rapid and shallow. The bonds intensity was increasing, and Trip couldn’t think. She reached up and took his face in her hands again.

“Now, Trip. Please.”

Hearing T’Pol speak startled him. He looked into her eyes, repositioned himself, entered her slowly and stopped. He could feel her need, but he could also feel the emotions slamming into her brain; so he waited. When she began to move under him, he lifted himself up and waited. The emotions were less volatile. She arched her back upward, so he lowered himself back down. He repeated this until he was sure her desire was peaking, and the emotions weren’t overwhelming her and making her afraid. He increased his rhythm but still hesitated slightly. Her hands were running up his back and into his hair. She tugged at his hair several times, and he could feel her desire and frustration building. He began moving faster and harder.

“Trip” she whispered as her breathing became very fast. When he heard her whisper his name, his control was lost. He gave himself over totally to the sensation and touch, and as soon as he felt T’Pol let herself go and her nails dig into his back, he followed. He collapsed on top of her, trying to catch his breath. Once his head cleared a bit he started to move to his side, but T’Pol held him where he was.

“Not yet, T’hy’la.” He didn’t move.

“What did you just call me?’

“T’hy’la.”

“Does that mean the same as Ashayam?”

“It means many things, and I’m not sure I can explain it properly.”

He attempted to move again, and T’Pol let him go. He put a pillow under his head and looked at her face. “Try.”

“T’hy’la means brother or sister, but not always a sibling. Someone who is compatible in spirit and mind. A kindred spirit. You described your relationship with Lizzie in this way.”

“Yeah, I loved her. It felt like she was part of me, more than Alex and Joseph are.”

“T’hy’la also means friend. One who you trust above all others and has traits you do not that help balance you. The meaning as I used it means bondmate and lover.”

“Then it does mean the same as Ashayam.”

“No, it means that and much more. It is about the nature of the relationship between two people. According to what my mother told me, it is rare for bondmates to form this type of bond. Most couples have the normal bond, some weak and some strong like my parents. Similar to our bond before it was completed.”

“I noticed the bond felt much different when we completed it, but when we ended the meld nothing seemed different. I thought I would feel some sense of loss because we weren’t as connected, but I didn’t.”

“You are right. We should have felt differently when we ended the meld, but the connection we have formed is special. A meld will only be needed for us during a healing trance or if one of us is deeply unconscious. A bondmate who is your T’hy’la is one who knows you inside out and accepts you without question. One who is so compatible that you do not have to voice what you need. …one who you would trust with your life… and whose life you cherish more than your own.”

Trip wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “You just described all-consuming human love, T’Pol. Vulcans feel love; they just don’t have a name for the feeling. They have a name for the relationship. So how does this affect us?”

“It means we cannot be separated for long periods of time. If one of us were to die, the other would soon follow. We are no longer two separate minds. We are two separate bodies who share one mind together, and we will have to discover what this means together. Because it is rare, not much is known; if it is, no one discusses it. We could talk to a priest when we are on Vulcan.”

“Since you mentioned a Vulcan priest, would you be okay with having a ceremony to make this official when we get to Vulcan?”

“That would be acceptable. I will make the arrangements.”

“I already asked Soval if he could do that… if you agreed. He said he would, and he would need three to four days beforehand to get it all setup. I also asked if he’d like to be there.”

“Soval is your friend and my mentor, so if you want him at our ceremony, he is welcome.”

Trip was wondering if the fear and worry he felt from T’Pol earlier in the day had been because she thought he would be upset about the intensity of their bond. As soon as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer. “You know what you said about knowing things? I think I just figured out what you meant. I was thinking about why you were so worried earlier today, and then I knew it was because you thought that we were T’hy’la; you were afraid you might be wrong, and you really wanted it to be true.”

“Yes, and I didn’t know how to explain that to you. I have told you what it means, but even I do not fully understand what it means. It has to be experienced to be understood.”

“So, basically, we wanted to be together. So this bond formed without us knowing, and once that happened, we were bonded forever?”

“That may explain why the bond did not form the way most bonds normally do.”

“I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing between you and I is normal.”

“Would you want that?”

“No, I’m happy with things exactly as they are, wife.”

Trip leaned in and kissed her. The bond came to life, and the passion began to build. They made love again. When they finished, T’Pol grabbed the extra blanket at the end of the bed, opened it, and covered then both as she climbed into the back of the bed and laid her head on Trip’s shoulder. He’d always slept in the back because T’Pol usually woke up before him and he didn’t want her to have to climb over him to get up. As he listened to her breathing even out and felt her relax into him, he knew this was where she preferred to sleep and would from now on. The sound of his heart beating gave her a sense of peace as she drifted off to sleep. Trip Tucker smiled to himself. He was one happy man. He couldn’t think of anything better than laying here, holding the woman he loved and who loved him. He closed his eyes and, like T’Pol, fell into a peaceful sleep.

Trip was awake. He looked over at T’Pol. She hadn’t moved from where she fell asleep last night. She was awake, but her eyes were still closed. She was content lying in his arms. Trip had never seen her this at ease. He started remembering bits of his dreams. He and T’Pol on the beach near where he grew up. At a monastery on Vulcan he’d never seen before, at the fire plains, on his father’s boat. They had shared their dreams, but they weren’t erotic and hadn’t kept them from sleeping.

His stomach growled. He looked over at the clock. The mess hall would be open in one and a half hours. Malcolm had the early shift today, so he would head for breakfast first thing. “T’Pol, I need to eat and so do you. We need to get up and take a shower, so I can comm Malcolm and have him let us out of here. Then we can go to the mess hall.”

“You had Malcolm lock us in?”

“I didn’t want anybody to disturb us last night. No one usually comes to my quarters, and the only ones who would comm would be you, Hoshi or Mal, but I wasn’t taking any chances.”

“Did you tell Malcolm why you needed him to do this?”

“No, I just told him it was important to me, and I would explain when I could.”

Trips stomach growled again. He got up and offered T’Pol his hand. “Let’s get that shower.”

He turned on the water and stepped into the shower. T’Pol was right next to him. She began soaping his back, then moved down the back of his legs and back up again. She came across his shoulders and down over his chest. He turned around and kissed her. She returned his kiss with more passion than he had ever felt from her. Her emotions were slamming into his head. There was love, desire, need, but no fear. She pressed him against the wall. This wasn’t going to be long and sensuous, and she was not going to allow him to tease and make her wait. This was fast and furious and all T’Pol. Trip just relaxed and let her have her way. When they recovered, he soaped her down, then washed his hair while she rinsed off. They stepped out of the shower. Trip grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist then took the larger of the bath towels, wrapped it around T’Pol, and dried her off. He dried himself, brushed his teeth, grabbed some clothes and left T’Pol to finish her morning routine. He decided not to shave because he somehow knew T’Pol liked it when he let the stubble grow for a day or so.

Trip commed Malcolm in his quarters. “Malcolm, this is Trip. Are you there?”

“I’m here, what do you need?”

“It seems there’s something wrong with the door to my quarters. I can’t seem to get it to open. Could you see what you can do to remedy the situation?”

“Give me a few minutes, I need to check the security routines and see if I can figure out what’s wrong. Just keep trying it till it works.”

“Thanks, Mal. I’ll talk to you later.”

When the door finally opened, Trip and T’Pol put the dishes from dinner on the cart that was still where Trip left it, and then walked to the mess hall. T’Pol was teasing Trip about his first dance. As they walked into the mess hall, Malcolm and Hoshi looked up to see Trip walking backwards, facing T’Pol with his hands up. He looked as if he were dancing with some invisible partner and laughing. It had been a long time since anyone had seen this Trip Tucker. He was light and free and happy. Malcolm saw the look of amusement in T’Pol’s eyes. It was obvious that things had changed for the better between those two. Malcolm just hoped that it stuck this time because watching Trip at this moment told him that if she rejected him again, Trip would be lost forever. He would sink into that black hole in his mind, and they’d never get him back.

T’Pol listened as he described his older brother Joseph teaching him to dance. She knew she could just look into his memories and see what had happened, but for the first time, she understood his need to tell stories and talk about his past. She never knew what a fond memory was, but now she felt it. As Trip talked and shared this part of himself with her, he experienced the feelings. Not with the same intensity but just as real. The awkwardness of a teen, the embarrassment of dancing with his brother, the fear of asking a girl to dance, and the happiness when she said ‘yes.’ This is what Trip had meant when he said he wanted them to get to know one another. He wanted them to talk and share themselves and those things that made them who they were. Looking at memories in one’s mind let one see events and even feel them, but Trip’s way let her feel them as if she were there with him.

They returned to his quarters, talked, and made love throughout the day. They talked about T’Pol’s strict childhood and lack of friends growing up. She had been an only child, and her parents had both been busy, professional people. She told him about her first disagreement with her mother. From that day on their relationship had never been the same. They had gone to dinner at the home of a colleague of her father’s. It was the first time she had been allowed to accompany them. They had served the dish that Trip had Chef make for her. She had liked the meal, and when her father asked what she thought of the evening, she’d said she had liked the dinner. The dish had been better than the one her mother made. Her father said nothing, but T’Pol had felt a second of something from her mother before she blocked it out. But being young, she had not recognized that her mother was upset about her comment on the food. She had asked her mother why the dish tasted differently than when she made it. Her mother had said her recipe was the one her mother had taught her. T’Pol had asked if she could make hers the way it had been made that night. Her mother could not hide her anger. She had told T’Pol that food was not for enjoyment. It was for survival, and one ate whatever was served to them. T’Pol did not understand what she had done wrong but had let it drop. Trip told her he sympathized. Every parent and child experienced the same thing; when they both knew that the child had grown up and no longer saw the world only through their parents’ eyes.

Later, T’Pol asked him about the lie he had told his father. She had never known him to out and out lie. Trip told her about the prom. He was seventeen and had taken Alicia, the girl he had dated all through his senior year. They had started making out while dancing and ended up in his car in the parking lot. Trip explained it had nothing to do with love; that it had been all about being a seventeen-year-old guy having sex for the first time. He had felt a little guilty afterwards, like he taken advantage of Alicia, even though she had started kissing him. When he had gotten home, he had been happy and smiling. His father had seemed to know what had happened and had asked him if he’d done anything he shouldn’t have. Trip had said, “No, of course not, Dad. You taught me better than that. We just had a lot of fun tonight,” and then he had gone straight to his room.

Trip explained that if it had just been about him, or if Alicia had been there and said it was okay, he would have told his dad the truth. But it hadn’t been just him. Alicia had feelings, and he wouldn’t have done anything that might have hurt her, even though he’d known they’d had no future together. She had been off to Boston as soon as they had graduated. She’d wanted time to learn her way around before college started. Trip hadn’t decided what he was going to do, but he had been leaning toward Starfleet, even though his parents hadn’t been happy about it.

They also talked about the bond. Trip told T’Pol, “This bond could create some problems for us. When you say we can’t be apart for long periods of time, what exactly do you mean?”

“If our bond had been like it is now when you transferred to Columbia, you would never have been able to leave Enterprise. The problems you experienced there would have started when you decided to go. The bond would have started to do whatever was necessary to keep us together.”

“So I can’t leave Enterprise without you?” Trip knew if that were the case, they would be leaving Starfleet sooner than he thought.

T’Pol understood what he was worried about. “The bond will only create problems if one of is hurt, in danger, or unhappy about something concerning the other. It will act when one of us has a need. We can be apart by mutual agreement but not at great distances. With effort, we can suppress it but not indefinitely.”

“If it becomes necessary to leave Enterprise, I am prepared to do that. But we’re doing okay here for now, so I’d really like to try to make this work for as long as possible. That having been said, we need to talk about Malcolm and Hoshi. At some point soon, we are going to have to tell them something. Malcolm is my best friend, besides you, and I hate keeping things from him. He and Hoshi are involved. I’m not sure how close they are yet, but I know he cares a lot about her. That means she will know, too.”

“Hoshi is a friend, and I trust her and Malcolm to keep our relationship private.”

“I know. This isn’t just about them keeping our secret and us keeping theirs anymore. It probably never should have been. We need Malcolm to know about our relationship, but we also need him to know about our bond. He goes out of his way to keep me safe on away missions, and if we might have issues because of this bond, he needs to know so he can do his job. We might also need his support if anything were to happen to one of us. Phlox would be here on Enterprise, but what if we aren’t on the ship?”

“You are right. We need to discuss this with them, but can we take a little more time and keep it between ourselves?”

Trip agreed to wait. While they talked, T’Pol introduced Trip to many new positions during neuro-pressure that she had considered too intimate to show him before. He understood why she had skipped them. He would not have been able to hide his feelings for her had they been doing these while in the Expanse. They made love, ate a late dinner, and slept.

The Journey – Part 1 – Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

The next several days were busy. Trip filled his days and some of his nights preparing for his new diplomatic duties. When he wasn’t involved in that he and Malcolm were working on more adjustments Malcolm wanted to tweak the photon torpedoes. They had gotten a hold of one of the Klingon’s torpedoes and modified it to work on Enterprise,. They hadn’t had the codes to make it work the way it was designed and both of them were convinced that they could make it work better.

Malcolm had all the security arrangements set up and needed something to keep him busy until the Ambassadors began to arrive. Trip, on the other hand, had more than enough to do. The Captain was driving him crazy with his constant suggestions on how to effectively host these talks. T’Pol had been very supportive and thankfully their bond had finally settled down. It came in handy when he needed help with something. T’Pol would give him information he needed, offer a suggestion, or just help to keep him calm down and he did the same for her. They seemed to balance each other out.

They spent most of their free time together. T’Pol had been worried that their sleeping arrangements would restart the rumor mill amongst the crew, but so far no one noticed or no one cared. At least, no one was talking about the fact that they spent a couple of nights in his room then the next couple of nights in hers. He’d finally told her sleeping alone was no longer acceptable and if the Captain found out about it then they’d just have to deal with it.

Ambassador Soval and Commander Shran were due to arrive today. Trip had gotten his dress uniform cleaned and pressed, in case he needed it, and made sure his regular uniforms were all cleaned. The next 4 days were going to test every skill he had learned for dealing with others. Lieutenant Hess was in charge of Engineering, so all he had to worry about was being a good host. The comm sounded, “Commander Tucker, to the Shuttlebay,” and he was off. T’Pol met him on the way and kept sending him her reassurance through their bond. He thought he could also sense some pride in there somewhere. They arrived at the shuttlebay and were met by Malcolm and Captain Archer. Trip noticed that when he arrived the Captain stepped over to the side to allow Trip to greet Soval first. T’Pol stood slightly behind Trip on his right. Trip had his hands clasped together to his front and T’Pol had hers behind her back.

When Soval stepped out of his shuttle he looked directly at Trip who raised his right hand and gave the Vulcan salute and said , “Dup dor a’az Mubster, kevet-dutar Soval” and nodded. Trip could see the Ambassador was surprised and maybe a little impressed that he had taken the time to learn the correct pronunciation to greet him in Vulcan. Trip doubted anyone else saw the reaction in Soval’s face, but he had learned that Vulcans do react. One just has to look very close to catch it.

Ambassador Soval, held up his hand and responded, “Sochya eh dif, Zhel-lan Tucker.” He then turned toward T’Pol “It is agreeable to see you Commander T’Pol.”

“It is agreeable to see you also Ambassador.”

Malcolm whispered to the Captain “What did they just say?”

“I think Trip said ‘Live long and prosper, Ambassador Soval’ and Soval responded with ‘Peace and long life, Commander Tucker, in Vulcan.”

Captain Archer seemed to relax somewhat. Trip had taken the time to learn how to greet Soval in Vulcan. Maybe he was taking this whole thing as seriously as he needed to. Malcolm just smiled. He knew Trip could do this and it appeared Trip might actually be starting to believe he could too.

“Ambassador, if you’ll follow me. You can look over the conference room and the arrangements we’ve made.” Trip said as he turned to leave. The Ambassador followed.

Trip and T’Pol showed him the room and the setup. Trip had requested a round table, so no could be thought of as being in charge. Soval seemed to be watching Trip and T’Pol very closely and Trip got the distinct impression that Ambassador Soval wanted to speak to him, but the Captain was right there, so he kept his distance. Trip addressed him, “Ambassador, if there’s nothing else I have several matters I need to see to before the rest of our guests arrive.”

“Commander, there is nothing else at the moment. I will speak to you later.”

Trip left and T’Pol offered to take the Ambassador back to his shuttle. As they were walking Soval asked if it would be possible to speak to Commander Tucker privately. “I believe the Commander went to his quarters. I could direct you there or I could ask him to meet you at your shuttle.”

“I know where his quarters are located I will go there, so we can talk uninterrupted.”

T’Pol left him and headed to the Armory to give Malcolm the specs she and Trip had come up with for the torpedoes.

Trip was sitting at his desk reading over the latest material Hoshi had given him. The door chime sounded and he turned slightly and yelled over his shoulder, “Come in it’s open.”

Soval stepped inside the door and took three steps, so that he could see Commander Tucker sitting at his desk. Trip had continued reading expecting that whomever came by to see him would say something. When that didn’t happen he turned around. Ambassador Soval had one of his candleholders studying it. “Where did you get this Commander?”

“It was a gift from someone I met when I visited Vulcan.”

“Really Commander. This design is quite unique.”

Could Soval know who these belonged to? No, how could he, it’s not like Vulcans carried their candles around with them. Trip walked over to get the other chair to offer it to Soval. Soval’s eyes followed him and locked on the family crest on Trip’s wall.

“Darlin, you could have warned me and I think we have a problem.”

“I’m on my way.”

Trip tried to cover his nervousness. “Ambassador, have a seat and tell me what’s so important that you had to come see me?”

Soval turned his attention back to Trip. Just as he began to speak the door opened and in stepped T’Pol. Soval took notice that she had just come in without letting the Commander know she was there. He looked from Trip to T’Pol and knew that what he had suspected was true. They were bonded. They were carrying on a conversation trying to figure out what to do. “Commander, I must assume you asked T’Pol to join us when it became apparent I recognized the candleholders and crest?”

“I wasn’t sure about the candles, but I knew you recognized the crest and what it meant.”

“I take it these were a gift from T’Pol .”

“No, they were a gift from T’Les. She gave them to me just before I left Vulcan when T’Pol got married. I didn’t know they’re significance until recently?”

“I do not understand why T’Les would give these to you when T’Pol married to Koss.”

T’Pol spoke up then. “I believe my mother realized that the Commander and I were bonded, even though we did not. I did not know it was possible to bond with a human, so I failed to notice what are now obvious signs of what was happening. We’ve known we were bonded for over a year now, but have only recently stopped fighting it. ”

“T’Pol figured out we were bonded when I transferred to Columbia. We started having problems the day I left and they kept getting worse, so I came back to Enterprise.” Trip was taking cleansing breaths to calm himself. Soval didn’t appear to be shocked or upset about their bond, but Trip was still worried. He continued. “Events kept our lives spinning out of control, but we have decided we want to be bonded and are prepared to deal with whatever direction life takes us together.”

“So is the bond fully formed?” Soval asked curiously.

“We have yet to meld to complete it, but Doctor Phlox has told us that it is almost complete and cannot be broken.”

“Commander, you seem to be handling this very well. I would have thought you would be broadcasting your thoughts and emotions for any Vulcan to hear. My telepathic abilities are strong and I am not picking up anything from you. T’Pol has taught you well how to shield your mind, but be aware that any Vulcan who spends time with you both in the same room will know about your bond. ”

“The Commander taught himself after I showed him one evening how to do it. It only took him 3 1/ 2 days to shield himself sufficiently for me to put my shields down. We are still working on strengthening his ability to prevent someone from entering his mind without permission. ”

Trip was studying Soval’s face and watched his hands . He’d learned that Soval made a fist when he was angry and he laced his fingers together and circled his thumbs around behind his fingers when he was bored, but trying to be polite. “Ambassador this isn’t why you came to see me is it?”

“No, Commander it is not. I need to speak to you privately.”

Trip reached up and extended his two fingers to T’Pol. She touched hers to his and he felt that sensation run this his body stronger than before. He told her he’d see her later and she left.

Trip turned his attention back to the Ambassador. “Just so you know T’Pol and I have no secrets. I talk to her about everything and because of our bond she knows anyway, unless I block her out totally. ”

“So your bond is very strong?”

“Yes, and getting stronger. Commander Shran is due here anytime, so if you need to talk to me about something you better let me know what it is.”

Soval studied the Commander for a minute. This might work out better than he had hoped. He could also get T’Pol off of Enterprise before war broke out again. Commander what do you know of the Coridanites ship yards?”

“Not a lot really. I was supposed to visit them, but never got there. I had Hoshi find what she could, but all I know is they are top of the line and that they acquire technology from several species. Why?”

“Because it’s in our best interest to keep the Romulans away from Coridan and when war comes we will need their dilithium and could use some of their technology, especially warp, shielding, and weapons.”

“How can I help with that?”

“Do you trust me Commander Tucker?”

“Yes.”

Soval was pleased that he answered without having to think about it. “All I can tell you right now is that you need to find time to talk to Ambassador Karak. Use your engineering background and ask questions about the shipyards. Let him know you are interested and would appreciate a visit to one in the future, also as I said Vulcan and Starfleet will need access to the dilithium mines, so we need to be sure whatever happens during these talks that is assured.”

“I’ll do as you ask, but I’d sure like it better if I knew why?”

“I will tell you this. What we’ve just discussed is the real objective of these talks. I asked for you because Captain Archer may have more official experience with diplomacy, but he doesn’t always listen. You on the other hand keep an open mind and try to always do what you think is right. You and I might not always agree, but I trust you to use your best judgment. It is unlikely that the Tellarites will accept any proposal regarding the Orions, unless all ties to them are severed. The Tellarites may say they have no problem with Coridans becoming a member of the Coalition, but when that happens the Tellarites will have to stop illegally mining and exporting their dilithium immediately. So, do not be disappointed if no real progress is made. Listen and learn.”

“Okay, Ambassador. You don’t want me to mention any of this to anyone, but T’Pol, which is fine and I’d appreciate it… “, Trip stopped himself. “Never mind. You won’t tell anyone about T’Pol and I. As T’Pol would say, “You’re a Vulcan.”

“Indeed, but I am also a friend. Commander you may call me Soval when we are not acting in our official duties.”

“I’ll take you up on that, if you’ll do the same and call me anything, but Commander or Commander Tucker. I prefer Trip, but it took me four years and getting bonded to get T’Pol to call me that, so I know it’s hopeless to even try to get you to call me that. ”

“Trip is not acceptable. Perhaps I could use your name.”

“Nobody calls me Charles. T’Pol might be able get with it, but no one else can. How about Tucker or even Mr. Tucker. ”

“Mr. Tucker. I like the sound of that. Mr. Tucker, it is.”

The comm unit sounded. “Commander Tucker.”

Trip reached across and hit the button. ” Yeah, Ensign Sato.”

“Just wanted to let you know Commander Shran is on his way.”

“Thanks, Ensign I’ll meet him in the shuttlebay .”

“He’ll be in shuttlebay two sir. Ambassador Soval’s shuttle hasn’t left yet.”

Soval stood up to leave. Trip smiled. “We better get you out of here before Malcolm sends out a search party to find you. I’m surprised he hasn’t been looking for you already. By the way I thought Vulcans didn’t have friends.”

“We have friends we just call them colleagues.”

Trip walked with Soval to the shuttlebay and then went to meet Shran. He took the Commander to the conference room and once Shran said everything looked fine Trip shook his hand said he’d see him tomorrow and left him with Captain Archer. As soon as Trip left the room he headed for the Science lab to see T’Pol.

She was explaining something to one of her staff, so he just stood back and watched her. Her posture was perfect and she still had to maintain her personal space, but she was so much more at ease around the crew she worked with, especially those she was friends with like Malcolm and Hoshi.

When T’Pol finished her discussion she walked across to Trip. “Can I help you with something, Commander?”

“I need your advice on how to handle Ambassador Soval?” This wasn’t far from the truth, he did need to talk to T’Pol about Soval. Maybe she had some idea what he was up to because not knowing made him nervous.

They quietly talked off to the side of the room. “T’Pol we can’t talk here, can we have an early dinner in tonight. I skipped lunch and I really could use some quiet after the last few days of cramming all these facts and the details of admission to the Coalition.”

“My shift ends in 2 hours. I will meet you in your quarters and we can discuss dinner.” Trip hands were clasped in front of his body. T’Pol clasped hers behind her back as she turned her back to him with two fingers extended. Trip took a step towards her, so his extended fingers touched hers. They stood still for a few seconds. T’Pol then moved toward the door. Trip followed and left. “Thank you Commander T’Pol .”

Trip came back to his room with dinner. He rearranged the chairs so they could sit and eat. “Do you have any idea why Soval is being so secretive about what he’s up to?”

“No, I do not and when he said he needed to talk to you privately I knew he wished to keep it to himself. The only thing I am sure of is whatever it is involves you.”

“I told him I trust him, so I guess I’ll just go with that for now and see what happens. I just get the feeling he has me in training for something.”

“He did ask you to listen and learn.”

The talks had been going for three days. They had one more and it was over. They’d been at it for 2 hours and 45 minutes and Trip’s head was about to explode. He finally spoke up. “I’m sorry Ambassador Gral, but I need to take a break. Could we resume in an hour.”

Trip got up from the table and headed for the small office at the end of the room. He entered, shut the door, sat on the floor against the wall, and began to meditate. Soval entered the room and shut the door. He stood and waited. Trip opened his eyes. “Hey, Ambassador, I’m sorry I just needed a break. I want to reach across the table and choke that little toad. His little song and dance routine is getting old. I’ve done okay until today, but my patience is wearing thin. When T’Pol started threatening to put her shields back up I knew I had to get out of there because I wasn’t going to be able to hide it much longer. Does that little thing you do with your thumbs help? ”

Soval looked down at his hands. Trip continued. “Contrary to popular belief Vulcans do have emotions and if one watches really close it’s easy to see. You clench your fists when you’re upset and your hide your thumbs behind your fingers and twirl them around when you’re bored or trying to stay calm.”

“I had not noticed these habits. I have spent many years amongst humans, perhaps I have learned your cultures coping techniques. Do not apologize for needing to calm yourself. I am impressed that you so readily use meditation to help yourself. Patience is a skill that we are taught from birth. Give yourself time I have been practicing for 100 years more than you and evidently I still have not mastered it.”

Trip chuckled at that. “I think I meditate as much as T’Pol, I just do it 1 hour with her in the morning and 15 minutes at a time when I need to during the day. ”

“These talks are almost over and you have accomplished what I asked of you.”

“Shran was a great help with getting the agreement for access to the dilithium mines and setting up shipping to each of us. You stayed awfully quiet. ”

“You did not require my assistance . If you had I would have offered it.”

“You said we wouldn’t make any progress on the Orion issue, but we did. Karak agreeing to stop allowing slave traders access to their shipping lanes is what I wanted. Now, we need to get the Coalition to agree to help protect their mines, so they’ll consider letting us help set up checkpoints on their border to catch them.” After slave traders had taken T’Pol and eight other crewmembers he had wanted them stopped. He couldn’t do anything at the time, but now at least he could do something to make it harder for them to transport slaves. “I’ve figured out the Coridans aren’t going to agree to stop trading with the Orion syndicate though. That’s where they get all their alien technology. The Orions smuggle it for them. ”

“Have you discussed the ship yards with Ambassador Karak?”

“On day one, I introduced myself and asked if there was anything he thought I needed to know before the talks began. He talked for some time. Didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know, except I now understand what P’Jem was all about. I wish I had known then that Vulcan was protecting their dilithium shipments through Andorian space. It still wouldn’t have made spying on them right, but I would have understood it better.” The High Council had used that whole incident to try and prove that humans couldn’t be trusted out in space by themselves. Trip added, “Karak arranged a tour of his ship. Their chief engineer showed me the engine and weapons. They didn’t show me everything, but they were pretty relaxed about showing me around. When I asked about the ship yards they told me about them and Karak said if we ever came to Coridan he’d arrange a tour for me.” That was something Trip really wanted to do. The engineering section of their ship had definitely been designed by engineers. No space was wasted, but there was ample access for repairs and maintenance and all that new technology.

Soval reached down his hand to help Trip stand, just as the door opened and Captain Archer entered. “We had better get back in there, Mr. Tucker.”

“Thanks, Soval. Let’s get this over with.” Just before he got to the door he said. “Gral’s version of 50 ways to Leave Your Lover has 50 verses and he won’t be happy until we hear each and every one of them, ad nauseum.”

Soval eyebrow went up. Not as severe as T’Pol did, but Trip knew he was confused.

Trip leaned in closer to his ear. “Sorry Ambassador, I forget Vulcans have trouble with what Lieutenant Reed calls Tucker speak. I’m used to T’Pol either figuring out what I mean or asking me to explain. I have some bad habits from being raised in the South”

“I have noticed your accent is not as strong as it used to be.”

“If I speak to my parents it comes back for a day or two and T’Pol says it’s there when I’m upset or really tired. People have always assumed I was stupid because of my accent and I used to be happy to let them believe that, but not anymore. ”

Captain Archer watched the interaction between these two. When had they become friends. Soval actually called him Mr. Tucker and touched him and Trip acted like it happened everyday. This wasn’t the Trip or Soval he knew at all.

When the talks finally ended Commander Shran shook Trip’s hand. “Hard to believe you’re the same Commander Tucker I met at P’Jem. What happened to that brash, arrogant young man?”

“Brash and arrogant sounds like somebody else I know. That young man grew up. You’re not exactly the same either.”

“The Imperial Guard and my government have me on a very short leash. I have to behave and do what they want if I ever want to get another ship to command.”

“I used to think I wanted a ship of my own, but I don’t want that anymore. I’ve seen what it does to you, especially when you’re at war. I’ll stick to working on my engines.”

“I thought perhaps you were leaning towards being a diplomat. You’ve handled yourself well. ”

“Thanks Shran. Can’t say I liked all of this, but I did find much of it rewarding, even though there are still some major issues to be settled.”

Soval walked by on his way out the door. “Diplomacy is achieved in small steps, Mr. Tucker. ”

Trip and T’Pol went to the mess hall for dinner. Trip had avoided taking meals there while his mind was so wrapped up in diplomacy. He found it to be exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. T’Pol had done neuro-pressure every night to help him with the tension. They talked about what had been accomplished then went on to plan the movie night that had been postponed. Trip pulled up the calendar on his padd to make a note about the movie and noticed Malcolm had a birthday next week. He handed the padd to T’Pol and pointed out the date. “Maybe we should have a party for him. Give us something fun to do during this break, and we could ask Hoshi to help us plan it?”

“That is an excellent idea. I can tell her I don’t know how to plan a birthday party, as Vulcans do not celebrate birthdays and males are not known for planning such events, so we will really need her assistance.”

“Are all Vulcans this duplicitous or is just you and Soval.”

Both of T’Pol eyebrows shot up just as Hoshi stepped up to the table. “I do not know Commander do all humans have such an unbearable sense of humor?”

“Nice to see you two are back to your old selves. I’ve missed your back and forth bantering. Mind if I join you?”

T’Pol responded, “Please do Hoshi. I require your assistance?”

“What can I help you with?”

“Malcolm has a birthday next week and we would like to plan a small party for him. I have never planned a party and Trip’s ideas are…”

“Say no more he’s a guy and if someone doesn’t jump out of a cake he’s lost.”

Trip should have been offended, but he knew this is exactly what T’Pol had intended so he let it slide. He sat back and listened as they discussed plans as if he weren’t even there. He spotted Malcolm and headed him off at the drink dispenser. They talked about the photon torpedoes and finishing the work they had started.

Ensign Black stopped Trip as they were heading towards Hoshi and T’Pol, to let him know the tables he wanted were in his office. Trip had asked the Ensign to find some scrap materials and construct two fold up tables. He wanted to put one in T’Pol quarters and one in his. They often ate meals in their rooms and had started to learn 3D chess so they needed a surface that was more convenient than their desk or the bed to use.

“Fold up tables?” Malcolm inquired.

“My desk isn’t big enough and I need somewhere to work on things in my room.” Trip said.

Malcolm accepted that. “Are you free tomorrow night?” I have worked out practice routines for the Bat’leth. The Klingons had a good idea using three grips . Once you get used to handling it from the middle moving from side to side is easy. It makes it possible to use it in close or extend your range out a couple of feet. ”

T’Pol asked. “Would you mind if I join you? I would like to learn how to use the Bat’leth also.”

Malcolm quickly glanced at Hoshi then looked away. “The more the merrier.”

T’Pol looked to Hoshi. “Perhaps Hoshi might like to join us also.”

Hoshi thought for the briefest of moments. “I may come and just watch. I’d rather get my exercise on the treadmill.”

“I thought you enjoyed practicing with weapons when you were younger?”, asked Trip.

“I did, but only because it meant I could spend time with my grandfather. He spoiled me rotten and I would have done anything he asked of me. Once he couldn’t handle weapons anymore I stopped. It just wasn’t the same.”

Malcolm caught the sadness in her eyes. Maybe he could make it fun for her again. “What weapon did you like the best?”

“Fencing. People think it’s for sissies when they see the protective gear. They miss the skill involved. I was pretty good at it because size and strength didn’t matter.”

“I can find sabres and gear if you’d like to fence. I haven’t practiced since I left the academy, but I’m sure it would come back to me in no time. My roommate was into competitive fencing, so I learned to practice with him.”

“Thanks Malcolm, I’ll think about it and let you know.” as she thought to herself, “maybe Malcolm did send me those flowers.”

“Mal, I’m still a little drained so maybe we could start next week sometime. I’ll talk to you later about it.”

Trip and T’Pol were pleased. Malcolm finally made an attempt on his own to spend time with Hoshi. It confirmed their suspicions. Malcolm was attracted to her, he just needed some help from his friends to act on it. Things were working out very well.

Trip and T’Pol left and went to the Rec room. Trip was trying to teach T’Pol to play pool, but it was difficult because they were not alone so he couldn’t touch her. He could feel her discomfort when he got to close. He’d tried showing her how to hold the cue, the placement of her fingers to guide it on the table by example, but it wasn’t working. Finally, he got next to her, placed his fingers on the table and told her to do the same. He placed the cue between her index and middle finger and then placed his hand below hers at the other end of the cue. He kept moving his hand toward hers until she had moved hers up far enough. He took two fingers and pushed the cue down towards the table. He showed her how to line up the cue ball, the target ball, and the pocket. Then he said it was a matter of geometry and touch and told her to take her shot. The ball missed the pocket, but it was a good try. They continued playing around for quite some time. Trip could feel warmth coming through the bond along with a jumble of other emotions. They left and got in the turbolift headed back to his room when T’Pol stopped the lift. Before he had a chance to ask why, she kissed him hard and very passionately. He was surprised, but went with it. His head was swimming and his body was responding. He knew they had to stop before things went too far. He pulled back. “Darlin, not that I’m not enjoying this, but if we don’t stop now I won’t be able to. Let’s go back to my room before things get out of hand here.” He waited a minute then reached out and restarted the lift.

When they got back to his room Trip sat on the edge of the bed and waited to see if she wanted to talk or what. He could feel her confusion, but he could also feel all the strong emotions she felt towards him. Then he knew what had been bothering her. If they were to make love like she wanted to they would end up completing the bond and he’d wanted to wait.

“T’Pol why didn’t you just tell me what’s been bothering you?”

“I wish to honor your desire to take things slow and not complete our bond until you are ready, but I do not know how to do that and do as you ask and act on what I feel at the same time.”

“Are you saying you want to complete the bond?”

“That was not my intention, but if I do what I feel then my answer is yes because I wish to have sexual relations with you, but if we do then we will be compelled to complete the bond.”

“Okay, first off I can deal with being a mate, but there is no way I can deal with making love being referred to as sexual relations. It sounds like were in a high school sex ed class, cold and impersonal. Second, if you’re sure that’s what you want to do then fine. I just wanted both of us to be comfortable with the physical side of this relationship. That’s when you seem to get overwhelmed by emotions and I don’t know how to help.”

“Completing the bond will help with that. Our connection is strong now, but it will become stronger and you will have more influence over my emotions when that happens. During the meld we will share everything. All our memories, feelings, hopes, and dreams will no longer be private. I will know everything you know and you will know everything I know.”

“I’m fine with that. Are you?”

“There are two incidents I have not discussed with you, even though I suspect you know what they are I have told no one about them and do not wish to discuss them.”

“Silik and Rajiin.”

“These are not things I wish to hide from you, but I find it difficult to talk about them. ”

“Then don’t talk about it. There are things in my life I don’t want to talk about and some of them I wouldn’t want anybody, but you to even know, so that’s not a problem.”

“So, do we complete the bond Ashayam?”

“Yes, but I would like to pick a time and place. It needs to be when we won’t be disturbed. It’s the day we will be married and I’d like it to be special. We’ll have to do the official ceremony on Vulcan at some point, but this one is for us.”

“Then we will need to wait until the end of next week. We have movie night, then September 2nd is Malcolm’s birthday, which we have all scheduled off and we will want to have the next day free after we complete the bond.”

“You pick the evening, we’ll schedule ourselves for the 08:00 shift that day and take the next day off. I’ll take care of the rest if that’s alright.”

“September 5, 2155.”

“It’s a date. Do you have any of your Vulcan robes on board?”

“Yes, I brought two with me. One formal and one more casual.”

“I wish Soval was still here.”

“I am sure if you contact him he would help you with whatever you require.”

Well, one part of it he could, but unless he can transport things light years away he won’t be able to help me with the other part.”

T’Pol tried to figure out what he would need Soval’s help with, but Trip had blocked his thoughts.

The next day Trip was with Malcolm working on the torpedoes trying to decide how to get him to movie night in a group with T’Pol and Hoshi. “Mal, were you planning on coming to movie night?”

“I haven’t decided yet, why?”

“When I asked T’Pol to go she informed me she and Hoshi would be glad to join me. Evidently, they are becoming friends and decided to go together. I could really use your help, so I don’t wind up stuck between two females gushing over Tom Cruise.” T’Pol had asked Hoshi to join her, she just left out the part about Trip joining them.

“I can’t imagine T’Pol gushing over anybody?”

“You have a point, but you know what I mean. Have you seen “The Last Samuri” before?

‘No, I haven’t. I’ve heard there are some good sword fights in it.”

Trip knew the fighting would catch his interests. “So you’ll come?”

“Yeah, who am I to abandon a friend in need.”

“Great thanks. I was a little worried I’d be in over my head with both of them and a romantic movie.”

Movie night went well. Hoshi wasn’t surprised to see Malcolm and they all talked about the ideals of the Samuri and the where Nathan Algren ended up at the end of the movie. Trip identified more with Algren’s sense of loss and disillusionment. He felt the same more and more as war with the Romulans loomed closer and closer, but he kept those thoughts to himself. Trip and T’Pol said their good nights and left Hoshi and Malcolm deep in discussion about sword fighting.

A couple of nights later T’Pol presented Trip with a costume. “What is this?”

“You need to wear this to Malcolm’s birthday party.”

“I thought I was supposed to get Malcolm there. Exactly how am I supposed to get Malcolm to go anywhere with me dressed like… a knight?” Trip wondered if this costume idea came before of after the movie.

“Hoshi and I planned the party. All you have to do is get him to the festivities.”

Trip stood there laughing to himself and rubbing his fingers on his chin. “Don’t blame me if this party turns out not to be a surprise.”

Trip had two days to come up with a plan. He’d known exactly how he would get him there before he found out it was a costume party, but now he was stuck. The party was in the cargo bay. Hoshi and T’Pol had decorated with British battle scenes. Trip had no idea where the decorations came from, but Hoshi always found a way to get whatever she needed for any occasion. He’d talked to Hoshi and T’Pol after their staff meeting, but they refused to help him out. Hoshi invited Captain Archer exempting him from having to wear a costume. Trip doubted he’d show up. They hardly saw him anymore unless it was work related.

Captain Archer had informed them that Enterprise had been ordered to Andor in two weeks, to speak to the Imperial Guard and the government about patrolling Coridan’s borders for Orion slave traders and illegal exports of their dilithium. Their next stop would be Vulcan for meetings with the High Council for the same purpose and then on to Coridan. Trip was to again play diplomat on all three planets, but this time he was more enthusiastic, especially when he was informed that a tour of the Coridan shipyards was a scheduled part of his diplomatic duties. He’d actually get to see them this time. The captain took T’Pol last time they were there. The Tellarites refused to participate, but that didn’t surprise Trip at all. Any agreement with the Coridans would not be with the Coalition, but with Vulcan, Andor, and Earth.

He’d had an easy afternoon. He’d planned on working on the paperwork that had piled up on his desk when Hess was in charge. She took care of a lot of it, but some of it only he could do. When he got there after lunch he found all the padds in neat little stacks. At first he thought T’Pol had just rearranged and organized them for him, but as he looked more carefully he saw that she had completed what she could. Most he simply needed to sign off on and the ones he that needed his attention had notes telling him what it was she had not completed or what he needed to read. He sent a big thank you through the bond, completed the reports and two hours later walked out and handed them all to Hess and asked her to take care of them. He didn’t have anything pressing to do so he pulled up the maintenance schedule and decided to go help his crew test and replace relays. Once his shift ended he walked to the observation deck to meet T’Pol. She was bringing the chess board, so they could play. It was nice to get out of their quarters once in a while. He’d always liked it up here. The large window made it feel more open than it was.

He and T’Pol were playing their game. T’Pol tended to take longer to make her moves than he so he would sit across from her staring into her eyes. Every once in a while she would look up and stare right back at him. He reached his two fingers across the table and she reached out to touch them. Just as they moved their hands back Captain Archer walked by and caught them staring into each others eyes. He knew that they were more than friends, but how much more he wasn’t sure of. Trip never really said why he’d transferred to Columbia and then came back, but Archer had been convinced T’Pol had had something to do with it. He’d have to keep an eye on them. Starfleet would transfer one of them if they broke the rules. If there was a choice to be made Starfleet would do whatever the Vulcans wanted, which would probably mean transferring Trip. They might not be the best of friends anymore, but Trip was still the best damn engineer in Starfleet and he would do whatever he had to to keep him on Enterprise. He now knew why he hadn’t been able to contact T’Pol during her off hours. Her friendship with Trip and she had evidently become friends with Hoshi and Malcolm too. The four of them spent a lot of time together lately. Maybe he should stop by Malcolm’s party after all.

Trip helped T’Pol and Hoshi with the preparation for the party most of the day. It had been difficult because he wanted to stay out of sight of Malcolm, so he wouldn’t have to answer any questions about why he wasn’t doing the repairs the schedule showed he was doing. T’Pol had gone to the bridge to make it appear as if she was working a shift and left, supposedly for the Science lab, but went to the cargo bay instead. Hoshi was off for the day, but very busy doing all the last minute setup and getting the food chef had prepared ready. An hour before the party was to start they all went to get dressed. Trip put his costume on. It wasn’t as bad as he first thought. The pants were stretchy and fit a little tight, but the tunic went down to halfway between his thigh and his knee. The boots went half way up the lower part of his leg. He wondered what the women would be wearing. He looked for his gift, which was a history of the major British battles since forever. Looking through it he couldn’t figure out how Malcolm could find that stuff interesting. To Trip it was dry and boring. He asked T’Pol through the bond where he had put it and she let him know it was already on the gift table in the cargo bay, so he headed over there.

Trip couldn’t believe Hoshi and T’Pol’s costumes. He stared at them both for several minutes. The dresses were low cut, fit tight down to the waist, and had long sleeves he thought, but couldn’t be sure because they had on gloves that seemed to go all the way to the elbow. The bottom of the dresses were floor length and layered. Hoshi had on heels and T’Pol had on black leather boots with a heel. Trip had only seen T’Pol in a western style dress back in the expanse. This one was definitely more to his liking. It made his wearing this costume much more agreeable.

Once the guest had arrived Trip commed Malcolm. “Lieutenant Reed this is Commander Tucker are you busy?

“What do you need Commander?”

“I could use your help in cargo bay one, buddy.”

“Isn’t that why you have an engineering staff?”

“Yes, but they’re all busy doing maintenance and I really don’t want to wait around here for an hour until somebody is free. You’re closer and my shift is over in twenty minutes.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

“No, something keeps shorting out one of the stasis units and Chef would make my life miserable if he lost all that food.”

“Fine, I’ll be there in 5 minutes.”

Trip had rigged the lights to flicker, so it would be somewhat dark when Malcolm entered. Trip heard Travis. “He just turned the corner.” Malcolm opened the door and they all yelled surprise and the lights came on. He was stunned. The Captain and the bridge crew gave him a pineapple cake the first year out for his birthday, but everything got so crazy after that no one really made a big deal out of birthdays anymore. Malcolm looked around the room at the costumes they were all wearing. The ladies were all in formal British eveningwear from the 19th and 20th century. The men were wearing military outfits from various periods. Trip walked over and handed Malcolm an outfit. “Happy Birthday, Mal. You don’t have to wear this, but Hoshi thought you might feel out of place if you were the only one in Starfleet issue. I told her it was a uniform, but she insist it’s not military.

“Did Hoshi do all this?”

“Hoshi and T’Pol planned the whole thing. I have no idea who did what. I’m sure the costumes and the battle decor came from Hoshi, but I stayed out of it. My only contribution after suggesting the party as a way to enjoy this downtime was wearing this get up and getting you here.”

“I’ll be right back, I’ll go change. They went to a lot of trouble, so I guess I should go with the spirit of the party. ”

Malcolm returned in the outfit Hoshi had picked out for him. It was a full dress lieutenant’s uniform from the 19th century minus the hat. Malcolm looked around and realized no one had on the hat that would have been part of their uniform and thankfully none of the women were wearing the hats from the time period of their dresses. Most of them were large and involved lots of flowers and feathers. He walked over to the table where Hoshi and T’Pol were seated. “I’m told I have you ladies to thank for all this.”

T’Pol said, “Happy Birthday, Malcolm.”

“Hoshi smiled at him. “Happy Birthday Malcolm. I hope you enjoy the party.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“There’s food over there. We didn’t know what you’d like for dinner, but there is a pineapple upside down cake, a chocolate cake with bittersweet chocolate frosting, and Trip made a punch called a Kentucky cocktail. I think he said it’s bourbon and pineapple juice.” Hoshi directed him to his place at the table. “There are 2 bottles of dry white wine for you right over there. If you don’t drink them tonight take them back to your quarters for some other time.”

“I know how you figured out the pineapple, but who told you about the bittersweet chocolate and dry white wine?”

“Actually you told T’Pol about the chocolate. Turns out she likes it too. The wine you told all of us about last Christmas. I just happened to remember, it’s my favorite also.”

“Thanks for all this Hoshi.”

“You’re welcome. It’s nice to have something fun to do with friends.”

“I agree. It seems I have more friends than I knew about.”

“Is the music alright. Trip said you like the Beatles, but he likes them too so I wasn’t sure. If not, then change it to whatever you want. ”

“‘The White Album’ is my favorite album of all time, so the Beatles are fine. Do you like the Beatles?”

“My favorite album is ‘Revolver’.”

Hoshi looked around. Everyone seemed to be watching Malcolm. “Malcolm why don’t we get something to eat I think everyone is waiting for you to go first.”

He motioned with his arm. “After you.”

Trip came up behind them. “Can I get you each a glass of punch?”

Malcolm turned and looked over his shoulder. “Bourbon and pineapple. Isn’t that the drink you used to order at the 602 club?””

“Yeah, I just made it into a one large drink in a punchbowl. I even got Chef to put slices of pineapple on it.”

They ate and sang Happy Birthday and he blew out his 33 candles. Then came the gifts. There was Stratego and Risk. T’Pol gave him the latest version of his favorite battle simulation software. He looked through the book Trip had gotten him. There were several books on weapons. Someone had given him History Channels series that recreated famous battles. Then he found two disks with no card attached. He opened the case and found them labeled ‘Fawlty Towers’. He didn’t need a card. These had to be from Hoshi. He’d mentioned he really liked the show when they were talking after the movie the other night. He walked over bent down behind her and asked “How could you have gotten these here in less than a week?”

“How do you know I had anything to do with getting those?”

“Because I have never told anyone, but you I like this show. Basil Fawlty is hilarious”

“They are from me. They’re copies from my collection. I have the rest of them and several from Month Python, but I only had 2 blank disks.”

“I wouldn’t need copies if we were to watch them together.”

“Malcolm are you asking me for a date?”

“Well, several actually, unless you want to watch them all at once.”

“No one at a time would be better.” Hoshi let out a laugh.

Malcolm kissed her on the cheek. “We’ll talk later.” He walked back to the gift table and laid the disks on top of the games. This had turned into the best birthday ever.

Trip had seen the peck on the cheek and Malcolm’s smile. Looked like phase two was complete.

The Journey – Part 1 – Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Trip rolled over and T’Pol wasn’t there. He heard… “Beep” “Beep”, it was Roadrunner. “I see you found my cartoons.” He hadn’t told anyone he loved to watch cartoons. His grandfather left them to him when he passed away and he still watched them. He also had Tom and Jerry and Bullwinkle. T’Pol was glued to the screen. He grabbed the other chair and slid it up next to her. As he watched with her he couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He knew they were stupid, but that was the point. When the cartoon ended T’Pol kept staring at the blank screen. “What is the purpose of watching that coyote keep trying to catch the roadrunner?”

Trip laughed. What was the purpose? “I’m not sure how to explain it. The premise is very simple. Wile E. Coyote is a fanatic, who is his own worst enemy. The roadrunner can only hurt him when he says “Beep, Beep” and the rest of the time he either hurts himself with his stupidity or the tools and contraptions from Acme fail to perform correctly or because gravity rarely works in his favor. It’s just funny to watch him keep ramping up his plans thinking he will succeed only to have him fail over and over. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I find it very funny. ”

“I will simply never understand how it can be funny to watch someone get hurt over and over.”

Trip lowered his head and shook it. “Darlin, other than the fact that it’s just a cartoon and not real, the character doesn’t get hurt as much as he gets humiliated. Maybe that’s what’s funny. It’s easier for us to laugh at someone else’s troubles because we can’t laugh at our own. It’s just a way to get rid of tension and stress.”

“Are all these disks cartoons?” She picked up a bunch of his disks.

Trip looked through them not sure what he brought on board with him. “Most of them are. Five disks have “The Lord of the Rings ” on them and then I have all the “Star Wars” movies. Could you do me a favor and not say anything about the cartoons to anyone? It’s a bit embarrassing that I like these and I really don’t want Malcolm or anybody to have more to tease me about.”

“I do not understand why you would be embarrassed, but I will not say anything. Perhaps I should watch these to see if I can figure out what you find funny about them.”

Trip got up, kissed the top of T’Pol’s head and headed to the bathroom. “Whatever you want darlin. Watch away.”

Trip grabbed his clothes and noticed T’Pol had hung a uniform, some off-duty clothes, and a robe in his closet.

He got in the shower, put soap in his hair, started to move it around and felt hands scrubbing his back. He looked over his shoulder and there stood T’Pol. He continued on his hair. “Well, hello there.”

“Do you mind if I join you?” T’Pol asked. He could tell she was unsure of herself and he didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable. He’d already decided that the physical side of their relationship had moved way too fast before and he didn’t want to let that happen again. He wanted to be sure she was ready this time and he knew she wasn’t there yet, but she was trying to figure it all out. They’d never talked about any of that, so he didn’t know how Vulcans dealt with sex.

“No, I don’t mind.” He turned and kissed her lightly. A friendly kiss. “Turn around and I’ll get your back. ” He scrubbed her back and then finished soaping himself down as T’Pol was doing the same. They rinsed off and stepped out of the shower. Trip took a towel and dried her off, then dried himself. They dressed and went out to meditate. When she leaned back into his chest he wrapped his arms around her and held her there for a moment. Then moved his hands over hers. Meditation was quickly becoming one of his favorite parts of the day.

The alarm went off and they put out the candles and headed to sickbay to see the Doctor.

“Hey, Doc.”

Phlox handed each a small plastic cup and they each drank the contents. Phlox ran the scanner down each of their bodies and saw no sign of parasites. “I don’t see anything here, but if either of you start to feel any of the symptoms you had yesterday, please come to see me right away.”

“Sure thing. Did you look over our brain scans?” Trip asked. He couldn’t shake that nagging question about the bond doing something to his brain.

Phlox walked over and pulled them up side by side. Trip looked at the screen. “Is that mine or T’Pol’s?”

“The one on the left is T’Pol’s and the one on the right is yours.”

Trip looked from one to the other, except that the one on the left appeared to have slightly more activity in a couple of areas they looked the same. “So our brains are becoming the same?”

“Your bond is stronger than I thought. From what I’ve been able to find out about bonded couples it’s looks to me as if your bond is almost complete on it’s own. Looking at these scans if I didn’t know that Commander Tucker was human I would think this was the scan of a bonded Vulcan male. It’s a good thing you decided to keep the bond because I’m not sure a priest would have even considered trying to remove it. ”

Trip looked into T’Pol eyes. “So this is a done deal?” He already knew that, but it was nice to hear someone else say it.

The couple were still staring into each others eyes. “Yes, Commander it is. Congratulations to you both.”

Trip reached out and touched T’Pol’s fingers and they walked out of sickbay. “See you later Doc..”

Trip stopped the turbolift. “Looks like this bond of ours has a mind of it’s own. I still want to do the courtship thing, so we can learn to talk to each other and just be with each other. I read about the mind meld to complete the bond, I know what happens and I want that, but I want us to build on our friendship and let the rest of it just happen. We’ll know when it’s time to move to the next level. I’m in no rush to get anywhere. It’s taken so long to get here let’s just enjoy the ride. Okay?”

T’Pol wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. She stepped back, placed a hand on each side of his face and kissed him. Then he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight . After a few minutes he restarted the lift.

After breakfast Trip went to see Ensign Summers the ships botanist. “Good morning Ensign. I need a big favor. Actually two favors.”

Commander Tucker had never come to this part of the ship before. He didn’t seem like the gardener type. “What can I do for you Commander?”

“Well, first I need 2 yellow roses and then I need your word that if anyone asks about them you have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.”

“Can I assume you’re giving them to someone and you don’t want them to know they’re from you.”

Trip shrugged. “You can assume anything you want, but only in there.” Pointing to her head.

“I guess I can do that.” Trip followed as she went to get him the roses. He saw petals laying on the floor under where the roses were and bent down to pick a couple up. Ensign Summers handed him two roses wrapped in paper. “You wouldn’t know where a guy could find a vase would you?” She walked across the room a came back with a small white vase. “Thanks, Ensign I owe you one.”

He stopped at his room, put water in the vase, and grabbed the card he and T’Pol had made, tied it around the vase and headed to D deck. Fortunately, Malcolm and Hoshi were on the same deck. Malcolm made his security people move around every few months. He said to keep them sharp. T’Pol came around the corner at the end of the corridor and extended something up to cover the security camera. Trip went to Malcolm’s room and stuck one of the loose petals he had under the bottom of his door. He dropped the other a couple of steps toward Hoshi’s door. Then he sat the vase in front of Hoshi’s door and headed towards T’Pol. Just as he got to her T’Pol reached out and grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him hard around the corner. “Okay, that was a little too close. Need to plan better next time.” He peeked around the corner. Hoshi was looking at the card then she looked in both directions down the corridor. She spotted the petal in the corridor and went to pick it up. When she started to stand back up the petal under Malcolm’s door caught her eye. Trip had made sure to make it look like it had gotten stuck there when the door closed. She walked over and examined it more closely. She got up, walked back to her room, and then looked at the card, which said “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady” then looked at Malcolm’s door. Hoshi’s favorite flower was the yellow rose.

Phase 2 was going as planned, so far. Trip and T’Pol headed to work.

When T’Pol reached the bridge Captain Archer studied her for a moment. The stress he’d seen across her shoulders for some time now was gone. She was intent on whatever she was doing. He’d tried to reach her several times while off-duty, but never got a response. He wondered if she was just ignoring him when he commed her, but then she hadn’t been in her quarters when he dropped by last night to ask her about one of her reports.

Hoshi stepped onto the bridge and appeared to be in a very good mood. The captain noticed. She caught T’Pol’s eye. “Good morning, Commander.” T’Pol nodded her head at her.

Malcolm came in and walked directly to T’Pol’s station. He handed her the padd he had in his hand. They talked about it for a minute then he turned to walk back to his station. After taking a few steps he looked back over his shoulder. “T’P…I mean Commander do you know when these changes are scheduled to be made?”

“No Lieutenant Reed you need to check with Commander Tucker on that.”

Malcolm commed engineering. “Bridge to engineering. Commander Tucker this is Lieutenant Reed.”

“Hang on a minute Lieutenant.”

“Where did you get these numbers Ensign” Trip left the channel open again.

“I got them out of the Starfleet manual over there. ”

“Well, that explains it. I know Starfleet teaches you that those manuals are where you should get specs from, but not on this ship. Those numbers were wrong before we left space dock and most all the information in there is wrong. We tried making the necessary changes like they train you to do, but we would have needed to write or rewrite whole sections to do that, so we gave up.” Trip started looking around for somebody to show the Ensign how to find the specs he needed. “Ensign Rogers could you please show Ensign Ogakatchu where he can find the specs he needs.”

Trip turned back to the comm unit. “Okay, Lieutenant Reed what can I do for you?”

“Have you scheduled the work on the torpedo launchers yet.”

“You didn’t check your messages did you Lieutenant? It’s scheduled for tomorrow morning at 08:00.”

The captain waved at the Lieutenant. “Tell him he didn’t check his messages either. There’s a senior staff meeting at 08:00 tomorrow.”

“Did you hear that Commander?”

“The work is now scheduled for 09:00 Lieutenant. Could you make sure Commander T’Pol knows that too?”

“I’m sure she heard us. Bridge out.”

Trip and T’Pol met for lunch and when Malcolm came in Trip motioned for him to come over. “I can’t believe I have to ask this, but do either of you know what the staff meeting is about tomorrow?”

Both T’Pol and Malcolm said no. “Okay, do we have a destination or are we just floating around out here and heading nowhere?”

Malcolm and Trip both looked at T’Pol. “The captain has not mentioned any particular course and sensors are picking up nothing. No planets or ships.”

Malcolm said, “Maybe we should ask Travis. Somebody must have given him our course and speed when we left the Zellerite ship. It was like this before the Xindi attacked remember. We got so used to stress filled days that we just aren’t used to it being quiet this long. Do you remember the Captain pacing back and forth because we had nothing to do. Besides you seem to be keeping yourself busy Trip with meditating, and chess, and the Bat’leth. I say we enjoy it while we can.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right . Meditation is helping with my need to always be doing something, but not completely. That and I seem to have forgotten how to have fun. I love my job, but it’s really boring right now. I’m actually looking forward to tearing apart the torpedo launchers again. At least it’s something to do besides paperwork.”

After finishing out his shift Trip went to his room. He checked his messages and found one from T’Pol asking him to bring her candles and meet her in her quarters in an about 45 minutes. He took a quick shower, put on a pair of jeans and a shirt, gathered up some clothes an extra toothbrush, razor, the other bathroom items he’d need, and put them along with the candles in a bag and headed to T’Pol’s.

He put in the code and when the door opened it was dark. There was one candle burning, so there was enough light after his eyes adjusted so he didn’t run into anything. T’Pol was sitting up against the wall, on her bed with her pillows behind her and her legs stretched out on what must have been her meditation pillows stacked up with something over them acting as a footstool. She had a bowl of popcorn in her lap. “There’s a drink for you on the desk and would you put the disk in please.”

Trip sat his bag down, reached for the drink, put the disk in, and crawled in next to T’Pol. ” I thought you said you didn’t know anything about dating? You’re doing pretty good do far.”

“I sat through all those romantic comedies at movie night I guess they were worth watching after all?”

They watched Roadrunner for an hour or so. Trip laughed most of that time. T’Pol still didn’t get it, but decided it really did matter if she ever did, Trip did.

They decided to go grab something for dinner and bring it back for later. The popcorn had taken the edge off being hungry, but if they waited to late then the selection in the mess hall would be slim. Trip went to get them something while T’Pol put her room back together. The door chime sounded. T’Pol answered it. It was Hoshi. “Can I talk to you, T’Pol?”

“Give me a minute.” T’Pol grabbed Trip’s bag, took it into the bathroom, and stuck it in the closet. She then concentrated to figure out where Trip was and let him know Hoshi was there. She went back to the door while folding up the extra blanket she had used over the cushions and told Hoshi to come in. “Sorry about that I had to move my meditation cushions out of the way.”

“I’m not interrupting you am I?”

“No, I will not mediate until just before I go to bed. Did you need something?”

“Advice? When I was leaving to start my shift this morning I found flowers outside my door with a card that wasn’t signed. I think Malcolm may have put them there, but I don’t know why he wouldn’t just say they were from him.”

T’Pol was at a loss here. She had no idea what to say. “Are you sure that he gave you the flowers?”

“I’m not positive, but I did see a flower petal stuck under his door. I don’t know how it would have gotten there if he hadn’t dropped it . ”

“Can you ask him if it was him?”

After considering this, “No, because if he didn’t then I’d be embarrassed and if he did he might be embarrassed.”

“I do not know what advice I can give you.”

“Do you think it’s possible that he gave me flowers?”

“I have observed him watching you on several occasions.”

“T’Pol he watches you too, all the time.”

Both of T’Pol eyebrows went up. “Commander Tucker has mentioned that the Lieutenant is fond of watching my ‘bum” as he calls it, but that is not the same as when I see him watching you.”

Hoshi couldn’t believe T’Pol knew Malcolm was checking her out like that and it didn’t seem to bother her. “Well, maybe I’ll just wait and see what happens. I better go I have some translating to get done. Thanks for listening. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Hoshi.”

Trip came in right after Hoshi left. “I know we started this matchmaking for our benefit, but now I really want to see them get together for them. I was thinking about the other Enterprise and how upset Mal was when he found out he had never married and had kids and Hoshi really is attracted to him isn’t she?”

“I think she really wants it to be him.”

“Maybe we ought to rethink the secret admirer part of this . I’d really hate for it to backfire and have one or both of them get hurt because of it. Things seem to be working out just getting them to spend time together with us. Oh, and I started getting movies back from the crew. So far the best one I’ve seen is “The Last Samurai.” It has the sword fighting for Mal and the romance for Hoshi. I didn’t even think about the Samurai stuff. I thought we could all go together. We just need to figure out how to make that work. ”

“We have time to work that out. Did you bring the candles?”

“Yeah, they’re in my bag.” Trip pointed to where he left the bag and when he didn’t see it he started looking around for it.

T’Pol came out of the bathroom with the bag? “I moved it when Hoshi got here. I thought we could do some shielding exercises then you can get some sleep while I mediate for a while.”

Trip picked up the bag and took out the candles. “Can we start the exercises while I put this stuff away?”

“I will let down my shields. If it gets to be too much just tell me to stop.”

Trip took the bag into the bathroom and started putting things in the closet and in the cupboard next to the sink. As T’Pol started to let down her shields he could feel a swirl of emotions and thoughts. They were strong. He started trying to block out their intensity. “Stop T’Pol.” When he said stop T’Pol put her shields back up. I didn’t mean put them back up. I just meant don’t let them down anymore. Can you put them back down and when I say stop just leave them where they are?” T’Pol started putting them down again. Trip started trying to block her and said stop before it was painful. Trip walked back in the other room with the empty bag.

He sat down on the floor and slid in behind T’Pol and wrapped his arms around her. “Is this hard for you to do?”

“I am not sure how long I can maintain my shields here. I haven’t done these types of exercises since I was a child and learning how to control my thoughts and emotions. My shields are usually up or down. This is the first time I’ve had to shield my mind from anybody on Enterprise. Usually I only have to shield myself from everybody on Enterprise.”

“So do you hear the crew’s thoughts?”

“I get impressions of things sometimes, but mostly just emotions, especially when they are strong. ”

Trip now knew that protecting him was causing her discomfort. “Can we practice this during the day?” He immediately picked up on her concern that it would be distracting to him while he worked. “I don’t mean when I need to concentrate. When we’re doing paperwork or reading reports. You seem to know where I’m at and what I’m doing and I’m getting better at figuring out what is you inside my head. We need to or rather I need to get comfortable with all this, so you can put those shields down permanently. ”

T’Pol knew he was right. She was starting to have headaches because she was keeping Trip from having them. “I am going to stop now. We will see if we can work on this during the day. I will let them down for short periods . When I sense that it will be a distraction or if you say “stop” I will put them back up, if that is acceptable?”

Trip pulled his head around so he could see into her face. “Try putting them back up slower. When you just break the connection it hurts.”

“I will try.” Trip hoped this would speed up the process, he didn’t like that T’Pol was in pain because of him. He leaned back and his mind started to wander. He’d recently been thinking about what the future would hold for them if a war with the Romulans broke out. A part of him thought he should fight to protect Earth. That was his duty. But there was this every present and louder voice telling him he was an engineer, not a soldier. “T’Pol what would you want to do if we go to war with the Romulans?”

T’Pol had thought about that often. If she stayed on Enterprise it would mean going back to what it had been like when they were fighting the Xindi. The crew would be stressed and it would be difficult for her control. Tensions would be high and their days would be filled with trying to survive and stop the Romulans. “I have considered the matter often, but I do not know what I would do. You and I need to decide that. Remember I told you my family history had not been a problem up to now?”

Trip sat up and moved himself and T’Pol so they were facing each other. “Yeah, what about it?”

“When my mother died, I became the head of my family. If we go to war the High Council may try to get me off Enterprise and back to Vulcan.”

“Can they do that?”

T’Pol’s eyebrow shot up. “They can try.” Seeing the concern in Trip’s eyes T’Pol lifted her hands to his face. “We will ‘cross that bridge when we come to it’, right now you need to sleep and I need to meditate.” Then she wondered how it was that she had not known this was on his mind. He had obviously been thinking about it a lot, but had somehow kept her from sensing it. Maybe he was better at shielding his thoughts than either of them thought he was.

Trip pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead. When he moved back T’Pol kissed his lips. It wasn’t the friendly type kiss she had given him up to nor was it a full out passionate kiss. He gave her a hug before he stood up, undressed, and slipped under the covers.

Trip and T’Pol arrived at the staff meeting minutes apart, but Trip took the seat next to her. Malcolm came in followed by Hoshi. Everybody got a drink and sat down. Trip was sipping his tea and reading something on his padd.

Captain Archer came in with a carafe of coffee. Trip had just set his cup down and Archer walked around the table and started to give Trip a refill. Trip reflexively put his hand over the cup and the Captain noticed he didn’t have coffee. “When did you stop drinking coffee and what is that?” Archer asked while scrunching up his face.

Trip was really getting perturbed with this reaction to what he considered the positive changes he was making. “This is getting old fast guys. I’m drinking green tea because I like it and it seems to be better for me than coffee. I meditate because it helps me think and stay calm. Can you all stop and let me do what I need to do to feel better.”

Archer was surprised at Trip’s outburst. He’d struck a nerve, but didn’t know how or why. “I’m sorry Trip, I’ve just never seen you drink any other tea besides iced tea.” The Captain decided to move on. He moved back around the table to sit down. “Starfleet has ordered us to host a diplomatic meeting on Enterprise for the Andorians, Vulcans, Tellarites, and the Coridanites. The main purpose is to discuss the illegal mining and exporting of dilithium from Coridan, but they also want to try and work out some agreement about the Orions. The Orions are still using their shipping lanes and the ones the Coalition is supposed to be protecting to trade slaves. Coridan wants admission into the Coalition, but until these issues are resolved the Tellarites will block it.”

Trip was not pleased. “I better get a mud bath set up and somebody tell Chef not to serve the Tellarites anything, but human food. ”

Captain Archer looked directly at Trip. He wanted to see his reaction to his next statement. “The Ambassadors requested Trip represent Earth.”

Trip looked up horrified. “What? Why would they want me?”

Archer continued. “Well, let’s see Admiral Gardner says that Commander Shran thought you handled yourself very well when you put Enterprise between the Vulcans and Andorians. Ambassador Gral says they like the fact that you aren’t afraid to say what’s on your mind. Ambassador Soval says you are loyal and have a strong sense of duty, but do not allow your preconceptions to cloud your judgment. The Coridans said they did not know you well, but were willing to accept the decision of the other Ambassadors.”

Malcolm was sympathetic, but teased. “Commander aren’t you the one who said you came out here to learn new things.”

“Oh, thanks Lieutenant. Nice to know who my friends are. I’m an engineer not a diplomat, Captain.”

Archer looked around the table. “All of you need to help the Commander. Ensign Sato you need to be sure everybody, especially Commander Tucker knows as much as possible about the etiquette and customs they will need to know for dealing with the Ambassadors. Lieutenant Reed you will be in charge of security for the ship and all the participants in the talks. Commander T’Pol you will assist Commander Tucker with the negotiations. He seems to listen to you and my orders are to be present to lend advice, but to let the main parties work this out.”

The Captain had noticed that Trip and T’Pol still disagreed at times, but they didn’t seem to have those never ending rounds of arguing that marked their interactions from day one. The change had taken place sometime while they were in the Expanse, but he wasn’t sure exactly when because he hadn’t paid much attention to anything, but the mission. Trip had been right, he had changed. They both had and the Captain wasn’t sure it was for the better. The Ambassadors were also right. Trip was open and honest and he didn’t allow his preconceptions to interfere with what he saw as the right thing to do. Archer wasn’t even sure if Trip had any preconceptions anymore. “Ensign Sato will forward a copy of all the information you need Commander Tucker. Any questions?”

Trip raised his hand. “How long do I have to get ready for this?”

“We have coordinates where all the ships will meet. It will take 4-5 days before all the Ambassadors arrive. Dismissed.”

Trip dropped his head down onto the table and laced his fingers together on the back of his head. “Somebody just shoot me now.”

Malcolm slapped Trip on the back on the way out the door. “You’ll be fine. Now let’s go tear apart those launchers.”

Trip jumped up, looked at T’Pol and followed Malcolm. “Let’s go, at least I’ll know what I’m doing there.”

When the Captain was sure Trip was out range to hear him. “T’Pol do you think he can handle this?”

T’Pol heard Trip respond, “No” , through the bond.

“Captain, Commander Tucker is more than capable, he just needs to have confidence in himself. The Ambassadors seem to think he can.”

“Admiral Gardner wasn’t happy about putting Trip in charge, but he had no choice. I hope you’re right.”

T’Pol got up and headed back to the bridge. Trip was busy with Malcolm working out the final details for the adjustments they were going to make. He was concentrating on the final calculations he would need. She did the calculations herself and gave him the answers he needed.

“Thanks darlin, I think I like having you do my math.”

“Glad I could help.”

Later when Trip and Malcolm took a break for lunch she let him know she was dropping her shields a little until he returned to work. They continued doing this on and off the rest of the day. When he and Malcolm called it a day Trip went to his office to read through the information that Hoshi had forwarded to him. His team wouldn’t have to construct a mud bath because the Tellarite ship would be there and they had their own. He went through all his interactions with Ambassador Gral. The Captain had been angry at Trip because of his attitude with Gral, but it turned out the Ambassador liked the unvarnished truth. Commander Shran had always been hard to figure out. He came across as a stubborn and condescending, but Trip suspected he had a soft spot for Humans, especially the Captain. Ambassador Soval was what? Trip no longer knew. His opinion of Soval had changed. He no longer thought he hated Humans. In fact, he knew he held them in high regard. He knew his relationship with T’Pol could create problems, but he was determined that he would do nothing to make things difficult for her back home. Besides, he liked Soval. He could be stubborn and set in his ways, but who wasn’t. Trip was sure they could build a strong working relationship, which was the closet thing to friendship the Vulcan would allow. Next were the Coridanites. Trip had seen Ambassador Karak once. All he knew about Coridans was that they had dilithium mines, which other species illegally mined and exported from. They traded with the Orion syndicate, which the Tellarites found unacceptable, and their ship building yards were known to be the biggest and the best. He would need to talk to T’Pol and Hoshi to find out more about them. He finished reading and headed to his quarters.

Trip laid down on his bed, closed his eyes, cleared his mind, drew in some cleansing breaths, and floated up until he arrived in T’Les’ garden. T’Pol was sitting in front of the little fountain in the center of it. This is getting easier. I don’t even have to think about it anymore.

He sat across from T’Pol and waited. He found it as peaceful and calming here as he did at the beach. T’Pol opened her eyes and Trip smiled.

“Hey, darlin. Didn’t mean to disturb you, I just needed to unwind. It’s seems somebody out there doesn’t like me. Why do I keep winding up in these situations. I have no idea how to be a diplomat and if I screw this up, then what?”

T’Pol smiled at him. “Trip you have to stop saying you cannot do this. You can.”

Trip barely heard what she said. “You’re smiling.”

“Yes I am. Vulcans hide their emotion on the outside, but as you know we do have them, and we do express them to ourselves, our mates, and to a lesser degree to our family. You are my bondmate; therefore I will no longer hide them from you.”

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you. Trip wondered if he would ever get used to the matter of fact way T’Pol said and did things. Once she decided that was the way things should be they just were. He used to tease and argue with her about it, but now he understood it wasn’t that she didn’t care or that she was cold it was just T’Pol being Vulcan and still accommodate the needs of those around her. “For now I’ll take your word for it that I can play diplomat if I need to. Let’s forget all that for now. Can you show your mother’s garden room?”

T’Pol stood, took his hand, helped him up, turned and headed into the house. They walked through the house and into a room Trip hadn’t noticed when he’d been there. He couldn’t believe it. There were flowers and small trees, that resembled Bonsai, everywhere. T’Les had created several different types of arrangements. One was a rock garden with plants growing up between the rocks. Another had a pond with plants he’d never seen before floating on the water. There was a desert with plants and flowers growing in it. Trip hadn’t even known flowers grew in the desert. “T’Les must have spent years doing all this.”

T’Pol looked around and Trip could feel the sadness start to overtake her. He stepped behind her laid his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around her. “It’s alright T’Pol . I’m right here and I won’t let anything hurt you. Let me help you.” Trip could feel the waves of sadness pass over her. He turned her around and pulled her into his chest and they both let tears run down their face.

When Trip opened his eyes she was still wrapped in his arms, but they were in T’Pol’s white space. T’Pol looked up at him. He could see the sadness there still, but he also saw how much she cared for him. She kissed him. A long, deep kiss that sent shivers down his spine. Trip had to step back to get some air and to clear his head. He still had trouble believing that he could feel this much in his head. His dreams had felt real and from what T’Pol had told him they took place in this space. He bent down and kissed her again. He whispered into her ear, “I love you.”

T’Pol stepped back took both his hands in hers, looked into his eyes as she brought his hands up to hers lips and kissed them. She held them there for the longest time.

“Trip we need to meet Hoshi for dinner soon. I think her father sent her some information for you. Meet me in the mess hall in half an hour.” He shook his head and opened his eyes and he was back in his room.

As he was taking his shower he felt T’Pol. She had lowered her shields. He was sure it was more than before. He had to exert more effort to keep from being overwhelmed, but it was much easier than it had been. By the time he arrived in the mess hall he wasn’t even aware he was shielding himself anymore and T’Pol was still there. The feeling in the back of his head was warm and strong. Somewhere deep inside him he knew he’d miss her presence if she ever left.

Trip, T’Pol, and Hoshi sat down to eat and talk. Hoshi gave Trip a padd with the message from her father. He had included the Chinese training manual, from the Shoalin temple, for a weapon known as the crescent rake. It had only one place to grip it, but it looked very similar to the Bat’leth. Then Hoshi filled them in on what she knew about Coridan. Trip asked if she had any information on their shipyards. When she said not much, he asked her to see what she could find out. He didn’t know if it would do any good during these talks, but it would satisfy the engineer in him.

Malcolm came over and sat next to Trip. “I keep telling you be careful what you wish for. I’ll bet boredom never looked, so good.”

Trip looked at T’Pol and then at Malcolm. “Do you two remember everything I say just, so you can throw it back at me when things like this happen?”

Malcolm let out a big laugh. “Remember, who has to remember. You have all these sayings and expressions you use all the time and it’s so easy to tease you about them when so many things just happen to you.”

Trip and T’Pol left and went to the rec room. They each got on the treadmill. After several minutes Trip could feel T’Pol. She’d been there all along, but now it was stronger. It caught him off guard for a second, but once he knew what was happening he began to make the effort to shield himself more. “T’Pol don’t stop. I just need to adjust I’m alright.”

“Are you sure, Ashayam. My shields are all the way down.”

“It’s fine darlin, it’s a little uncomfortable, but it’s nothing I can’t handle and I’m getting the hang of this. Let me see if I can do this on my own.”

T’Pol looked at him. She was not convinced , but she must let him try. “I will do as you ask, but if it becomes too much I will put my shields back up.”

Trip closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, until the discomfort was almost gone. He stopped the treadmill and stepped off. He took two staffs off the wall. “T’Pol, are you up to practicing with me?”

She stopped her treadmill and joined him in the center of the mat. Trip handed her a staff and moved into his stance. Malcolm had worked with him on various staffs or poles for a year now. He started him off with cudgels, which were about three feet long and used by the Royal Navy. Malcolm’s father had insisted he learn how to use them as it was required training. Trip had had difficulty with it at first, but once he figured out he needed to find the center of balance for each staff he used it became easier. Once they moved on to the longer staff Trip found he actually enjoyed their workouts. Trip had watched T’Pol work out with one of the Macos a couple of times, but he had never practiced with her before. He let her start off and he countered her movements. He started off a little rough, but as they moved around the mat he could tell T’Pol was following some practice routine of her own, so he just looked into her eyes and followed along. He kept pace with her. She moved left and struck and he reacted. She brought her staff down over his head and he blocked. Trip didn’t know how long they continued and when she stopped she said, “You’ve been practicing Commander.”

Trip then became aware they were not alone in the room. He walked over and took her staff then leaned in toward her ear. “And you said Vulcans don’t dance.” and laughed softly to himself as he walked to put the weapons back on the wall.

They walked back to her quarters. Trip said he needed a shower and headed into the bathroom. He stuck his head out the door, “Would you like to join me?” As they were soaping each other down Trip became fully aware that T’Pol was in his head and her shields were still down. Her emotions were all over the place and it made him dizzy. He rinsed himself off. “Let’s get out of here.” He stepped out of the shower, dried himself off, put on his sweats and pulled a shirt over his head. The dizziness was getting worse. T’Pol went into the other room to finish dressing. Trip followed her. “What’s wrong T’Pol. You’re all over the place and I can’t figure out why?”

He suddenly knew, she’s confused. She didn’t understand what she did to make him bolt out of the shower. She started to put her shields back up. “No way, T’Pol don’t do that. Talk to me don’t shut me out. This is exactly why I want to take things slow because we may be bonded, but we suck at communicating with each other.”

She let her shields back down, but still didn’t say anything.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I just could feel you being overwhelmed by so many different emotions it made me dizzy. I need practice figuring out what you’re feeling. You feel things a lot stronger and there are so many emotions at once, I have trouble sorting them out. I know we can feel each other, but we still need to discuss things out loud or in our heads.” He could see she was thinking about what he was saying, but she still wasn’t talking. ” I know you know this because you’ve been in my head for quite some time now and if that’s all it took we would have resolved our issues months ago.”

Her voice was soft. “I have no idea what I am feeling. I have always had difficulty where you are concerned, even before the bond. My control is difficult as it is, but when I get close to you I feel as if I have no control. There are so many emotions that I do not even recognize. They are all strong. Do all humans have these same emotions when they take a mate?”

“Well, I can’t say they all do, but most do to some degree. I’m sure it’s the same with Vulcans. The bonds they form are all different, unique to each couple. Humans are the same. I’ve been involved with two other woman and I thought I loved them, but it felt different with each of them. I certainly didn’t feel the same as the way I feel with you. Is there anyway I can help you?”

“Just do what you have been doing and give me time to find the balance between my control and these feelings. With my shields down it may be easier for me to keep better control.”

“Take all the time you need, I’m not going anywhere, and stop being afraid you’ll do something to upset me. There’s nothing you can do that is wrong as long as whatever you do comes out of what we feel for each other, okay?”

Trip’s stomach growled. T’Pol looked up at him. “Perhaps we should go get you some food.” Trip followed her out to go to the mess hall. She was much more at ease now, but he knew she would need to meditate to work out the day for herself. Since he meditated himself he now understood how much it helped T’Pol to maintain her control and allowed her to process the conflicting feelings she was having. He now trusted her with his heart. There were no more doubts. He could feel how much she cared about him. He could also feel how much she worried about him. Trip decided he would have to make sure they were both safe and he especially would have to take care to keep himself out of trouble, so she had one less thing to worry about.

The Journey – Part 1 – Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Phase one of their plan was about to begin. They walked into sickbay together. Phlox was feeding his animals. “Hey, Doc, you got a few minutes?”

Phlox turned around and was surprised to see T’Pol standing next to Commander Tucker. “I’m almost finished here, take a seat.”

Trip couldn’t sit, as he was way too nervous. He kept pacing back and forth, and he could hear T’Pol telling him “Relax, Relax.” He took some deep cleansing breaths and tried to clear his mind, but it was no use.

Then he heard Phlox. “What can I do for you, Commanders?”

Trip turned back, and T’Pol started talking.

“We have something very important we need to discuss with you, but we want your assurance it will fall under doctor/patient confidentiality.”

Phlox looked at them both and could see that Commander Tucker was more nervous than he had ever seen him. “If what we discuss is about your physical or mental health, I am bound by the oath I took as a doctor, and I will honor it.”

The couple looked at each other and both shook their heads ‘yes’.

T’Pol proceeded with, “The Commander and I would like you to perform a brain scan of each of us. We’re sure you already know what you will find, and we have decided that it is important. You need to know the nature of our relationship, so you will be better able to provide care for us in the future—should the need arise.”

“I see.” Phlox knew, but he asked anyway. “You are bonded, aren’t you?”

Trip looked him directly in the eye and answered, “Yes. We would have liked to have kept this private but as our doctor, you need to have all the facts. Also, I need you to know that you have my permission to discuss any and all of my medical information with T’Pol, if I’m unavailable. She will have final say over my care if I’m not able to make the decisions myself.”

T’Pol hadn’t expected that from Trip. They hadn’t discussed anything about who would make such decisions, but Trip was right. They might as well deal with all the issues at once. “The same goes for me. You will need to discuss my care with Trip if I am not able to do so.”

That shook Phlox. She called him Trip, and they sounded as if they were married. “I’ll need you both to fill out a couple of forms and sign them before I can honor your wishes. You do realize, if that were ever to happen, I would have no way of protecting your privacy? The Captain, Starfleet, and the Vulcan High Command would all demand to know why I would allow a non-spouse to have any say over the care of a patient.”

T’Pol gave Trip a questioning look. Trip just nodded at her. “Doctor, while our bond is not yet fully formed, according to my culture and traditions, we are already married. All we lack is the official documentation. We have not gone that far in how we consider our relationship yet, but we have decided we want to keep this bond. At some point we will decide we are ready to consider ourselves husband and wife and complete our bond.”

“You know, Doc, we understand you may find yourself in the position of choosing where your loyalties lie, but we trust you to make the right decision. We are prepared to deal with the consequences—whatever they are. ”

Trip felt a little guilty putting Phlox in this position, but he didn’t have a choice. “This is partly your fault anyway. If you hadn’t suggested neuropressure, we might never have bonded.”

Trip heard T’Pol, “Ashayam, that is not totally true. It may have helped, but I believe we would have bonded eventually. We were attracted to one another the first day we met.”

Not being used to carrying on a conversation in his head, Trip spoke out loud. “I like when you call me “beloved” almost as much as when you call me ‘Trip’.”

T’Pol was stunned that he understood the Vulcan phrase, and Phlox just looked confused. Trip simply pulled the chain up from under his shirt and flipped the symbol over. T’Pol didn’t know he had chosen to wear it, and she hadn’t expected him to look up the inscription to find out what it meant.

Phlox interrupted when he asked who would be scanned first. Trip went first, and T’Pol filled out and signed the forms the Doctor gave her. She and Trip then traded places.

Just as they were finishing up, Captain Archer came in. “So did Trip finally get that check-up?”

Phlox hadn’t seen him come in . “Yes, Captain. He checks out fine. You are free to go, Commander Tucker. If you’ll wait just a moment Captain, I need to get Commander T’Pol’s nasal inhibitors.”

Phlox came back and handed the inhibitors to T’Pol, and she left. “Now what can I do for you, Captain?”

Trip and T’Pol each went off to start their shift for the day. Trip floated around engineering, singing to himself, and whistling all day.

T’Pol set about watching Hoshi and Malcolm, trying to find some way of getting them together. Trip told her she could learn a lot about romance while they worked at getting those two to admit their feelings for one another. She knew nothing of how to attract a mate. Vulcan’s knew who their mate would be from childhood. Romance and seduction had nothing at all to do with it.

—–

T’Pol was working down Trip’s back applying neuropressure. “T’Pol maybe I should work on Hoshi, and you work on Malcolm. ” It was then that Trip remembered he had told Malcolm he would meet him for target practice at 20:00. He looked at the time across the room. It was 19:45. He grabbed his sweats and tank top, jumped up, explained to T’Pol as he was getting dressed, and bolted out the door. Malcolm would drive him crazy for days if he was late. He made that mistake once, and Mal kept up teasing him until he promised never to be late again.

Trip made it right on time. Malcolm was already firing away at the targets. Trip picked up the phase pistol and waited his turn. He wasn’t sure why he ever agreed to do this. If he hit 50% of the stupid targets he was doing well. Malcolm usually hit in the high nineties but would be upset with himself if he hit anything lower than a 98%.

Trip always figured that if anything the size of these targets were shooting at him, shooting back wouldn’t be much use anyway, as they probably wouldn’t be organic. If he needed to shoot someone, he might not be able to hit the perfect shot, but he would still be able to hit some vital area to slow them down or stop them.

“Trip, why is the Captain worried about you? He asked me today if I had any idea what was up with you.”

The question didn’t quite register with Trip. “I’m sorry Mal my mind was wandering off about why I even bother with target practice. My scores are the same as 4 years ago, and I don’t see them ever getting better.”

Malcolm just shook his head at Trip. “I was just telling you the Captain was asking me what’s up with you. As far as target practice goes, you practice so what skill you do have doesn’t degrade. You may never get better, but I will not let you get worse.”

Trip knew Malcolm couldn’t help himself. Trip’s safety on away missions seemed to be very personal to him. He gave up long ago trying to change Trip’s behavior when he left the ship, but he did make sure Trip kept up his physical training and weapons certification. And now it seemed Malcolm had decided to assign Trip his own personal bodyguard whenever possible. The more it felt like there was nothing to worry about, the more on alert Malcolm was when Trip was going anywhere. Trip had just begun to realize that T’Pol also took precautions where his safety was concerned. Even when they weren’t talking to each other he always felt as if she were close by, just to be sure nothing happened to him. He’d told himself he was imagining it— it was wishful thinking. Now he was sure he’d been right. His two best friends were watching out for him, yet he still managed to get into more than his fair share of trouble. He really didn’t want to think what would happen to him if they weren’t there to look out for him.

“Thanks Mal. I know I give you a hard time, but I really do appreciate you trying to keep me safe. You know I’m not sure what the Captain is worried about. I couldn’t make dinner with him last night, and he just dropped by my quarters even though I told him I had plans. The conversation didn’t go well. I had to get checked by Doc yesterday because of those headaches and not sleeping again, especially after that lapse on the bridge. I told him I was fine now, but evidently he doesn’t believe me or Doc.”

Trip was frustrated with the whole Jon/Captain mess. “Mal, I don’t know what to do anymore about the Captain. He and I aren’t really friends anymore, and I’m not sure we ever can be again. Too much has happened, and my life is going in a direction that is only going to strain both our personal and professional lives. ”

“What direction is your life going that would put more strain on your relationship?”

Trip wished he could discuss things with Mal, but he couldn’t do that right now. Maybe later when he and T’Pol had strengthened their relationship and were more sure of what they each wanted for their future together. Trip hadn’t quite gotten the hang of this whole ‘together’ thing. “I’m not totally sure at the moment, but when I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”

Leaving Starfleet, if it came to that, was right at the top of his list of choices that Jon would not like. Trip looked up and saw the time, 23:15. “I’m going to go try to get some sleep. I get up early to meditate in the mornings and really need to catch up on all the sleep I’ve managed to miss the last few weeks. See you in the morning, Mal, and thanks again for the practice.”.

Walking back to T’Pol’s, he began to reconsider his earlier decision to have T’Pol work on getting Malcolm to ask Hoshi out and for him to concentrate his efforts on Hoshi, and thought maybe they should work on it together. He really was looking forward to playing matchmaker for those two, and he might as well enjoy the whole process of doing it.

He entered T’Pol’s quarters to find her not there. He sat down at her desk and pulled up his messages. His Mom had sent him a message. He listened as she complained that Enterprise hadn’t been to Earth, and they hadn’t seen or heard from him in almost a year. She was right. He hadn’t been in touch since Elizabeth’s funeral in San Francisco, and Enterprise hadn’t been back to Earth either. His parents had been upset that he had returned to Enterprise instead of taking the time Captain Archer told him he could take to go home. He hadn’t had the strength to spend time with them. It was just easier to go back to work and hide in his room where no one asked anything of him.

The comm sounded. “Captain Archer to T’Pol. T’Pol, are you there?” Trip turned around just as T’Pol stepped inside the door. “The Captain just commed you.” She reached out her hand, and he took it as she headed out the door and pulled him with her. “Some reason you don’t want to talk to the Captain?”

“No, but you were right. He constantly calls me for inconsequential matters in my off hours. I was not there when he called, and he does not know you were there, so I am unreachable. If it is important, he will find me.”

Trip was amazed she would just ignore what he always thought of as her strict sense of duty. “Are you picking up bad habits from all us humans or just me?” Trip had always complained when they were together, and the Captain would comm T’Pol whenever the mood struck him, and she would get up and leave to go take care of whatever it was he needed her to do. Trip had tried to convince her it was alright to let the Captain know she had plans or needed to meditate.

The entered the observation deck and stepped over the rope that his crew had put up to keep visitors out. T’Pol went to the window and glanced out. “I talked to Hoshi about this several months ago, and she said she’d had the same problem with the Captain. She finally started asking him if it could wait until her shift began or if her staff could handle it, as she was really busy at the moment. After several tries, he finally stopped calling her unless it was important and she was the only one who could handle it. I’ve been trying to get him out of the habit by not being there when he calls because I cannot really tell him I am busy when I am not. That is also why I have been coming to your quarters. If he cannot find me then…” He could tell she felt guilty.

Trip came up behind her, laid his chin on her shoulder, and put his arms around her waist. “You’re welcome at my place anytime day or night. You can tell him you’re busy because now you are busy meditating, doing neuro-pressure, spending time with me, and trying to get Hoshi and Malcolm to spend more time together. Speaking of our new favorite couple, I think we should work together on this project. ”

T’Pol laid her head back against Trip’s shoulder and looked up at him. “Any ideas on how we proceed? I have no idea how to go about this as I have absolutely no experience dating.”

Trip hadn’t considered the fact that Vulcans don’t date. “I did think about us being a secret admirer for each of them. They would get little notes or gifts that don’t say who sent them, but we figure out ways to make them think the other is sending them. I also thought about starting up movie night again and using that to somehow get things going. The hard part is going to be figuring out how to make sure they know that they care about each other. ”

Trip began to yawn even though he tried to stop himself. T’Pol turned his body and started him out the door. Trip had just punched in the code to his door and turned to say goodnight when T’Pol asked, “Can I stay here tonight?”

Trip smiled. “Didn’t I just tell you you’re welcome here day or night? I meant that, Darlin. Come on, let’s both get some sleep.”

They both stripped down to their underclothes; Trip crawled under the covers, and T’Pol slid in next to him. She turned on her side. He pulled her in close, and wrapped his arm over top of her. Trip could tell there was something wrong, but he couldn’t get a sense about what it was. “T’Pol, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer for the longest time. Just before he asked again, she replied, “I have not been sleeping much lately. I am tired.”

“T’Pol, why haven’t you been sleeping?” He waited for her response. He already knew he wasn’t going to like the answer because she seemed afraid to tell him.

“If I sleep, I cannot keep my shields up to keep you from suffering the negative effects of our bond. You needed to sleep without dreaming before you became ill, so I stayed awake so you could sleep. If we spend more time together then the bond will sort itself out, and we should both be able to sleep in our own rooms and be fine. ”

“As far as I’m concerned, you can sleep here every night if you want to. Do you shield me all the time?” Trip was sure she was going to say yes, and he wanted to know why.

“Trip, it is necessary until you can shield yourself from my mind when you need to. And you need to be able to shield me from your mind. If I didn’t shield you, I would have open access to everything in your mind. I would never go anywhere without your permission, but until you are used to me being there, it can be a little unsettling.” Then she added, “Ashayam, if I were to sleep here every night, the rumors amongst the crew would not serve to keep our relationship private.”

Trip pulled her tighter against his body and laid his leg up over hers. “Then we switch back and forth and are very careful so we aren’t seen coming in and out. Actually, is it alright if I leave some of my stuff in your quarters? ”

“Yes, you can leave whatever you wish there. Perhaps I should do the same and leave a few things here.”

“I’ll make space in the closet and bathroom tomorrow.” Trip was starting to trust that they really were together forever. “You can start teaching me the shielding techniques tomorrow, okay? Oh, and will it hurt me if you let down your shields?”

“I do not think it will harm you. I can do it gradually so you will have time to adjust. But not tonight. Let us get a good night’s sleep and talk about how we will do this tomorrow. Goodnight, Trip.” It couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes, and Trip knew she was asleep. Her breathing evened out, and he felt her body relax into him. Trip closed his eyes and joined her for several hours of peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Trip woke up first. He gently pushed himself up and over T’Pol, so he wouldn’t wake her. He felt really good this morning. He went into the bathroom and rearranged his cabinet, leaving the first shelf empty. He then went to the closet and moved some things around to make space for T’Pol. He went back into the other room and sat at the desk. Her family crest was standing up against the wall. It really wasn’t just her family crest anymore. They were family now, so that made it partly his, too. He picked it up and looked around, finding the perfect spot for it on the only empty wall in the room. He reached in the drawer and found the tack, pushed it in and hung the crest on it. The package he’d picked up yesterday was right where he’d left it. He opened it up and removed the chessboard and a Vulcan 3D version of chess called Reh-retuka-tches. He’d played chess with his grandpa and liked it. When he started looking for ways to challenge T’Pol, he also found this Vulcan game. It was described as chess with many levels, more strategy, and logic. It had sounded perfect, but the longer he looked at the boards the more confusing the setup became. There were directions, and he glanced through them. They were in Vulcan and English.

T’Pol was moving around, so Trip decided he needed to get his shower. When he came back out, T’Pol was sitting at his desk holding the game board up. “Trip, where did this come from?”

Trip looked at T’Pol, who had a strange, perplexing look on her face. “I saw the description of it and thought it looked like something I might like to learn, so I ordered it.”

“And who did you think was going to teach you?” She smiled at him.

His voice got quiet. “Kind of hoped that if you knew how to play, you would. And if you didn’t, we could learn together.”

“I have not seen this game since I left home. My parents played this all the time. They seemed to derive pleasure from the experience, as their games would sometimes last for weeks. When I was young and my parents wanted to discipline me, my father would make me sit with him all day and learn this game. It was torture for a child to have to sit there for hours and try to learn all the intricacies required to master it. ”

Trip was suddenly sympathetic. “I know what a pain it is to suffer through your parents hobbies. My Mom had a garden. Not just her flower garden, but a huge vegetable one that covered half the backyard. If we got out of line, we had garden duty as we called it. You weeded , fertilized, watered, and picked produce until you hated vegetables. It seemed like a lot of work so my Mom could make spaghetti sauce and goulash year round.”

“Goulash? What is that?”

“My Mom was a great cook, and I liked most everything she made, but goulash was her ‘I can’t think of what to make’ or ‘don’t want to think tonight, so let’s have goulash’ meal. To this day I can’t stand the stuff, but I don’t mind gardening now that it’s not forced on me.”

Trip felt a small shiver run through his shoulders. “Looks like I’m going to be learning how to play on my own, huh?”

T’Pol sat the board back on the desk, and then pointed up at the crest. “It looks good there. You asked me why the Captain recognized it.” T’Pol paused a moment. “That crest was from my father’s family. It is also the family crest of Surak.”

Trip looked at the crest then looked back at T’Pol. “That means you’re related to Surak?”

“Yes, it does. That has not been a problem in the past, except that I have had to keep this to myself, but it may be a problem for us both in the future.”

She had his full attention. “What kind of problems are we talking about here?”

“I am unsure, as yet, what they will expect from me , but we will face that when the time comes.”

Trip decided to let it drop for now. “I’m going to go get some breakfast. Why don’t you get a shower?”

When Trip got to the mess hall he spotted Malcolm and waved. He went to get coffee but decided to get green tea with mint instead. He also got T’Pol’s tea. When he turned around to go get their food, he almost dumped the tray down the front of Malcolm’s shirt. “Mal, don’t do that.”

Malcolm smiled at him then picked up the cup and sniffed it. “Green tea and mint. Are you sure you’re alright? In all the time I’ve known you, health conscious you aren’t.”

“Everyone kept telling me the coffee wasn’t good for me, and I sure don’t need all the caffeine to speed me up. I’ve always had an abundance of energy. Mostly I’m drinking it because the burning sensation I’ve had in my stomach seems to be gone, and while there is caffeine in green tea, it doesn’t jazz me up like coffee does. I haven’t felt good for so long now that I’m willing to try anything if I can get my life back on track. So please stop with the jabs, okay?”

“Sorry, buddy. If it really is helping you feel better, I’m all for it.” Malcolm had to admit whatever Trip was doing was good for him. He was looking more and more like the guy Malcolm met when he came aboard Enterprise.

Trip picked out his breakfast selections and put them on the tray. “I really have to go, Mal. T’Pol is expecting me for meditation, and she’s almost as bad as you if I’m late. Meet me for lunch at say 13:00, and we’ll talk.” He tried to visualize his schedule for today, which he’d briefly looked at last night. Hopefully, he had remembered it right.

As he was walking back to his room, Trip kept getting a weird sensation in his head, just for a second, and then it would stop. When he got back to his room, T’Pol had the cushions and candles set up for meditation, so he handed over her breakfast and tea and sat down to eat his own. They meditated then headed off for their shifts. “Make sure Hoshi is in the mess hall for a few before you show up, darlin. See you then.”

Trip had an uneventful morning with the exception of that feeling he kept getting off and on. He went to the mess hall. Hoshi was sitting at a table near where he and T’Pol usually sat. Trip walked over and laid down the practice Bat’leth he was carrying, making sure Hoshi saw him, then went to get some lunch. Trip returned to his table. Hoshi came over and asked about the weapon. “Are you any good with that?”

“No, I just thought I’d see if I could learn to use it. Running on that treadmill is great for exercise, but it’s boring. I’m trying to find some way to be physical and occupy my mind at the same time. Didn’t you tell me once that your family had a collection of Chinese and Japanese weapons?”

Hoshi looked surprised as she reached for her own lunch and sat down to join him. “I can’t believe you remember that. My great grandfather started the collection, and my father now has it. ”

“Do you know if they had any kind of weapon similar to this?”

She picked up the weapon. “I’m not really sure. My grandfather taught me to use several of the weapons, but there were too many for me to know them all. Why are you asking?”

Trip knew she was hooked. “I was hoping if they did, they might have some instructions on how to use them that I can give Malcolm so he can help me figure out how to fight with this. It’s not like the Klingons are going to be much help, and I don’t think there’s much info in the database on their weapons.”

Hoshi knew he was right. The Klingons were less than thrilled with Humans, in general, but they hated those on Enterprise, especially Captain Archer. “If you can get me a sketch, I’ll send it to my father and see what I can do.”

“Thanks. I knew I could count on you.”

As they continued to talk, T’Pol joined them; then Malcolm showed up. “Hey Mal, hope you don’t mind if the ladies join us?”

Malcolm sat down, visibly uncomfortable. “It’s fine. What’s with the Bat’leth? Somebody looking for a fight with the Klingons?”

“No, I just asked Hoshi here to see if her father had any weapons that were similar. If he does, I was hoping he had some sort of instructions on how to use it.”

“So you want to learn how to fight with this?” The disbelief in Malcolm’s voice was evident.

“Aren’t you the one who keeps telling me I need to hone my skills, so I can better protect myself?”

Malcolm shook his head. “I’ve been telling you that for three years, but I never thought you took me seriously.”

“I do, occasionally, listen to advice from my friends.”

The conversation centered around the weapons Hoshi did remember from her father’s collection and the training she had received in their use. Malcolm seemed impressed that she knew how to use a sword and various other weapons, even though she no longer practiced with them.

They were all getting up to leave when Trip announced, “I’m going to start up movie night again. I thought maybe I’d get a list of everybody’ s favorite movies and draw one each week.” They all thought it was a good idea.

Trip and T’Pol had already put together a message to that effect, asking interested crewmembers to reply with their favorite two movies. It also requested that whoever chose to submit their favorites needed to support their fellow crewmembers and not just show up for their own choices. Trip asked T’Pol to go ahead and send it.

Sitting in his office, finishing up his paperwork, Trip began to feel queasy. The pictures of the destruction the Xindi weapon on Florida, the weapon blowing up, Elizabeth and T’Les dying were flashing though his head. He stood up and took some deep breaths. The flashbacks stopped. He hadn’t had dreams or anything like this for several months and couldn’t figure out why he was now.

He punched up a screen on his computer and input a code to lockout a small section of the Jefferies tubes that they used for maintenance. There was a hole in Malcolm’s precious security there, and Trip had never told him about it. Trip grabbed his tools and a couple of relays and headed there. Once he positioned himself, he closed his eyes and cleared his mind.

T’Pol entered engineering and began to look for him. She couldn’t get a sense of where he was, so she stopped and concentrated. She found him.

She climbed up the ladder and pulled open the door to the tube he was in. “Trip.” He didn’t answer. She reached out and touched his leg and knew that he was meditating, so she started to close the door when she heard, “T’Pol, did you need something?”

“I was just concerned for you. Are you all right?”

“I seem to be fine now. Just needed to relax a little.”

T’Pol looked around the inside of the Jefferies tube. “Malcolm does not know of your little hiding spot, does he?”

“No, and please don’t tell him. I come here when I need a few minutes alone. I haven’t been here for months, but it’s nice for days like today.” Trip was nauseous. He looked at T’Pol, and she was wobbling. Once he figured out it was her and not his vision, he told her to go down the ladder. When he got down to her she looked like a tree swaying in the wind. He put his hands on her shoulders, turned her towards the door, and told her to head for sickbay.

Trip sat her on a biobed and hollered for Phlox. “Doc, are you in here?”

Phlox came out from behind his little zoo. “What seems to be the problem, Commander Tucker?”

“Not sure, Doc. Something is wrong with T’Pol.” Trip suddenly felt… like he’d drunk too much Tequila. The room was spinning, and there were waves of nausea.

Phlox was trying to pry Trip’s fingers loose from T’Pol’s shoulders. “Let go of her, Commander. Let go, and you should feel better.” Trip let go and let Phlox lay her down, but Trip didn’t feel any better.

“Doc, give her whatever you gave me for nausea.”

“Commander, kindly stop trying to do my job. She’s unconscious. It won’t do her any good.”

Trip became insistent. “Doc, just give it to her, or we’re both going to see what I had for lunch real soon.” This was how he felt when those plants attached themselves to him. “Doc, check her for those parasites you treated me for.”

Phlox just looked at him. “Mister Tucker, please let me be the doctor.”

“You don’t understand. I felt just like this. I don’t know how, but I’m positive that’s what’s wrong with her.” Trip kept trying to make the spinning in his head go the other way. It sometimes made it stop when he drank too much, but it wasn’t working now.

Phlox picked up the handheld scanner and ran it up the length of her body. Sure enough there it was; a parasite in her chest. Phlox went to the cabinet, returned, and injected two hyposprays into T’Pol’s neck.

Trip stood up straighter. “Thanks, Doc. I feel much better. It’s those parasites, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Commander, it is. How did you know that?”

Trip took some deep breaths, trying to clear his head. “I could feel the nausea and vertigo, just like it was happening to me, but I knew it wasn’t. I’m not likely to forget something that made me feel that sick anytime soon. I thought everybody checked out clear of parasites but me.”

Phlox knew that the parasite wasn’t there when she came back. How else could it have gotten into her system? T’Pol must have gotten it from Commander Tucker. He went around the corner and came back with two small plastic cups.

T’Pol was just waking up. Phlox handed each of them a cup. “Drink it.”

“What is this?” Trip thought better and put up his hand. “Don’t tell me. I decided a long time ago that I trusted you, and as long as you keep those creepy crawly things off me, it’s better not to know.”

The last time he asked what he was taking, the description had included what amounted to the droppings of one of his collection. “I do want to know why I’m taking this, though. T’Pol’s sick, not me.”

“I suspect that you passed a parasite to her when she sat at your bedside for hours on end. I kept making her leave, and as soon as my back was turned, she’d sneak back in and hold your hand. With the nature of your relationship, it’s possible that with…” Phlox was searching for a delicate way to say this without embarrassing them. “…skin to skin contact, shall we say, you are passing it between you.”

When Trip understood what Phlox was talking about, he turned slightly red. “Doc, it’s not like that. She kissed me on the cheek, and we have cuddled up, but that’s it for over a year. Does everybody think I’m the resident Casanova? I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been with anyone in the last 4 1/2 years, and one doesn’t count because it only involved touching some rocks.”

T’Pol reached out to Trip. “Trip, just drink it so we can be sure we are both parasite free.” T’Pol looked at the Doctor. “Why did it take so long to affect me?”

“My best guess right now is that the Commander had a large number of parasites in his system, and they flooded him with the chemicals they released and the effects were immediate. You, on the other hand, appear to only have one in your chest. The fact that you’re Vulcan may be a factor, also. The chemicals act on the brain chemistry to cause nausea, vertigo, as well as weaken areas of the brain.”

“Would that cause flashback like symptoms?” Trip asked.

“It’s possible. You were having nightmares the first couple of days you were here.” Phlox responded.

Trip looked over at T’Pol. “Can she go, Doc?” Phlox knew he wasn’t going to keep either of them here unless they couldn’t walk. “Yes, but I need to see both of you before breakfast in the morning for one more dose of medicine.”

As they walked toward the doors, Trip remarked, “I really have to find a way to stay out of this place. No offense, Doc, and thanks.”

Trip was thinking about this bond of theirs. “T’Pol, were those images I saw from you or me?”

“Both, I think. The bond is like…” T’Pol was searching for a way to explain it. “…the plasma flowing in and out of the warp core. If you block the flow one way,”

Trip finished for her, “the flow slows down the other way and causes damage. If you increase the flow too much one way, it overflows and starts a flood in the other direction.”

“We just need to find a balance between us to keep the flow going smoothly in both directions. We should start teaching you shielding techniques after dinner.”

When Trip walked across the mess hall at dinner, he was surprised to see T’Pol at their table with the 3D chessboard setup. “I thought you saw this as torture and a not-so-fun thing to do?”

“You said you now liked gardening because it was no longer punishment, so I decided perhaps we could try this and see if it is enjoyable.”

Trip picked up the instructions and began reading them as Malcolm approached. “How do you play chess on that many levels?”

“Sit down, and we’ll figure it out.” Trip motioned toward a seat.

Malcolm just got seated when Hoshi arrived and stood next to Trip. “Just wanted to let you know I sent that sketch to my father. He usually gets back to me in a day or so.”

“Thanks, Hoshi.”

Hoshi kept looking at the chessboard from all different angles. “Isn’t regular chess hard enough without adding six boards?”

Trip shot both Hoshi and Malcolm a look of disgust. “What’s the matter with you two? I came out here to learn new things, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” He could feel T’Pol smiling even though he could only see the barest hint of a smile on her face.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just it took me forever to figure out which direction each piece moves when I learned how to play, and they only moved in four directions. Can you move from level to level?”

Trip pointed across the table. “Have a seat, and help us figure it out.”

Captain Archer came in, heading to the Captain’s mess. As he closed the door, he overheard Hoshi saying, “So now you’re telling me that these detachable levels can be moved?” They were all becoming friends.

Trip was laughing at her. “Yes, if there are no pieces, or if only one of your pawns is on a level when you start your turn, you can move it.”

Malcolm chimed in. “You could be playing a game for weeks.”

T’Pol nodded to him. “My parents often did that. They could take hours, and sometimes days, to make a move. You have to have patience, use logic, and have a strategy. Is that not the way one would play those battle simulation games I have seen you play, Malcolm?”

T’Pol just used my name, thought Malcolm. The shock registered on his face.

“I am sorry. I believe you told me I could call you Malcolm when we were off-duty. Was I mistaken?”

“No, it’s fine. You’ve just never done it before, and it surprised me.” Malcolm focused on what her question had been. “Yeah…, I guess you’re right. Those games are all about being patient and planning a strategy. I guess logic would be involved, too. Never really thought of it that way.”

“T’Pol, why are the pieces magnetized to the board?” Trip wondered.

“Because the game can take such a long time to finish, it may become necessary to move it from place to place; so you would not want them to move around.”

Malcolm was the first to notice that they were the only ones still in the mess hall when he got up to leave and turned to Hoshi, “If your father sends any information on weapons, could you send a copy to me?”

He then laid his hand on Trip’s shoulder. “I’ll look it over and see what I can come up with to teach you how to use the Bat’leth, or we’ll just have to see if we can devise our own training routines. Night all.” He waved as he left.

Trip and T’Pol stood up, and Trip gathered all the trays and returned them. Hoshi looked at T’Pol. “I had fun. We should do this more often.”

“Indeed, we should. Goodnight, Hoshi.” T’Pol followed Trip out the door. Trip stopped. “I noticed you didn’t eat much. Are you feeling better?”

“I’m fine, just not very hungry after all that nausea earlier.”

“I understand that. So how do I start learning to shield my thoughts?”

“You will be learning how to shield your thoughts from reaching me, but you will also learn to shield your mind so I cannot seek your thoughts.”

“Is it hard to learn?”

“The only thing that can be difficult is keeping someone out of your mind if they are determined to get in. The rest will be tiring, and requires practice, but it is not really difficult.”

T’Pol first relaxed her shields a little so Trip could get a feeling of what that would be like. After a while, she had Trip try to project thoughts and images to her. Once he could do that with ease, she had him say or see something in his head over and over while concentrating on not projecting it to her. When his head started to hurt, he asked her to stop for now.

T’Pol got up, walked around behind him, and reached down to pull his shirt up over his head. She laid it over the chair by his desk and starting doing neuro-pressure down his neck and upper back until his headache was gone. Trip then stood up, kicked off his shoes, took off his pants, and crawled into the bed. “Are you staying?”

T’Pol took off her uniform, lifted up the covers, and laid down next to him. Trip pulled her in close, and they both drifted off to sleep.

The Journey – Part 1 – Chapter 1

Summary: The story is the development of the love and relationship of Trip and T’Pol and also Malcolm and Hoshi to a lesser degree. It is also about friendship and the family we chose. I use canon because it makes the characters who they are, and then I extend it out past “Terra Prime” into a reasonable story that could have happened if TPTB hadn’t killed the series. I ignore the addiction, end the series at Terra Prime, and hate Captain Archer as a character. Scott Bakula is a great actor, but his portrayal and character, were all over the place.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its characters (Paramount does). I wish I did so that they were still on, and all I’m getting out of this is hours of fun.

Rating: NC-17

Archive: Yes (On any Trip/T’Pol sites) Use anything you want.

The dialogue in italics is bondspeak between TnT in their minds.

Chapter 1

“Okay, you work on figuring this out while I get something to drink.” Trip handed T’Pol the Rubik’s cube he had not been able to solve in months of trying, as he headed across the mess hall. Trip didn’t know where they stood, but she had stopped avoiding him the last couple of weeks, so for now he was content to just be whatever.

As he reached the drink dispenser, he grabbed a cup, put it in and asked for chamomile tea, hot, with mint. He repeated the exercise and decided to head over to get some dessert. There were several items available. Pecan and cherry pie would normally have been his first choices, but he asked the assistant chef if he had any blueberries to put on the plain cheesecake he’d spotted? The chef said “yes” and Trip asked him to prepare two pieces and to please add some whipped cream to both. Upon returning to his table, he handed T’Pol a cup of tea and one of the desserts.

She looked up with a puzzled expression and he simply said, “I thought you might like some too.” In fact, she did want some and had been thinking about it since she had walked by the desserts when she got her meal, but was caught off guard when Trip had brought it back to the table. “Commander, I didn’t realize your taste for sweets included blueberry cheesecake?” After taking a sip of his tea, Trip told her “I prefer plain cheesecake, but blueberries just sounded good.” He had given no thought to the fact that he had never tried it with blueberries before; never asked for whipped cream, except on pumpkin pie, and he was drinking T’Pol’s favorite tea, which he had never drank before.

Back in her quarters while attempting to meditate, T’Pol realized that their bond was stronger than she had ever believed possible, and that the Commander was totally unaware of it’s continued existence, thus far. It wouldn’t be long before he started to realize something was up and she had to figure out how to tell him. They had finally gotten to a place where they were the best of friends and she didn’t want to lose that again. Her marriage, her mother’s death, the Kir’Shara, Terra Prime, and Elizabeth’s death had almost destroyed any chance she had at controlling her emotions, and the thought of losing Trip was more than she could even think about. It had taken her the last two years to come to terms with her emotions and her lack of control where he was concerned and now that she had found, some sort of balance that would allow them to possibly deepen their friendship, all could be lost again.

Having gone to his quarters, Trip found he was extremely restless. He always needed to be doing something, but tonight he couldn’t seem to sit still at all. Malcolm had suggested they do some self-defense workouts to hone his skills, so Trip headed towards his quarters to see if he were free. He laughed to himself, walking down the corridor, remembering Malcolm’s laughingly telling him ” you are a disaster waiting to happen whenever you leave this ship and anything I can do to ensure your safety will only help in getting my people to stop trying to get out of going if you’re on the away team.?” Trip didn’t think it was funny, but he did have to admit he did manage to get into some serious situations and that he spent all most as much time in Sickbay as in engineering sometimes.

When Malcolm didn’t answer his door Trip decided to head down to the Rec room and do some exercise to burn off some of his excess energy. When he arrived, there were a couple of the new female crewmembers sparring with each other and he began to watch them as he stepped onto the treadmill. He input his normal program for a run and was absently staring across the room when he suddenly felt a jolt in his head. He jerked his head around and he was looking directly at T’Pol standing just inside the door with this strange look in her eyes. “What did I do now?” he thought. Angry, he reached down, sped up the treadmill, and looked down at his feet. Taking deep breaths he tried to push down what he was feeling, as it didn’t make any sense for him to be angry with T’Pol or anyone else. It didn’t sense for her to be upset with him either, but she was. “We didn’t have plans, we just had dinner and that was my idea, so I could give her the Rubik’s cube.” She liked puzzles and that was the first puzzle he had to give her on his quest to get her to spend more off-duty time with him. He couldn’t think of anything he could have done to upset her. When he looked up, he was surprised to see T’Pol burning holes through the two females across the room. If he hadn’t known, better he would have thought she was jealous. That couldn’t be true, as there was no reason for her to feel … “Man, I have got to stop projecting my fantasies onto her.”

“Commander…” T’Pol, now standing right next to his ear whispered, “Trip.” Trip almost feel off the treadmill when he jerked back to reality. “Yeah, what?”

“Would you like to join me in the Science Lab to figure out what those plant specimens you brought back are?” “Sure as long as we take precautions so they don’t attach themselves to me again, I’d like that,” he said while trying to figure out why she was no longer mad at him. He grabbed his towel and followed her to the lab. When they got there, an Ensign under T’Pol was working on the strange plants and seemed to be well into whatever she was doing, so they left her to it. Trip started looking around and noticed a kind of miniature rock garden in the corner. He walked around it and got the strangest feeling he’d seen it before, but where? “This is the garden at your Mom’s house, isn’t it?” T’Pol nodded. “It’s great. I loved it almost as much as the Fire Plains. Wished I’d spent more time there. It was very peaceful and made me wish I could learn how to meditate properly.”

Surprised T’Pol said, “I did not know that you wished to learn to meditate. You’ve never mentioned it before.”

“You told me once that it helped you control your emotions and there are times I could really use any help I can get, especially when I seem to have so much energy I can’t sit still. My Mom said I was born on the move and never slowed down, but there are times I wish I could just be.”

“I would be willing to teach you to meditate if you wish. We could start now if you have no plans.” Trip considered this for a moment. “Okay, but I need a shower first. My quarters or yours in half an hour or so?”

“My quarters would seem more appropriate to meditate as I have the necessary candles and cushions or I could just bring candles to your quarters.”

“Actually I have candles in my closet. I brought them back from Vulcan.”

“When did you have time to purchase them, as you were with me all the time you were there and then came directly back to Enterprise when you left?” T’Pol queried.

“Your Mom gave me a package just before we left for the wedding. When I asked what it was she said she hoped I would find pleasure in the items someday, and that we needed to go. When I got back to Enterprise I opened up the package, there were six candles in holders and this shield of some sort. ”

“Could I see the items?”

They were walking down the corridor toward Trip’s room. When they got to the hall that led to T’Pol’s room he expected her to veer off, but she didn’t, she kept walking beside him. He keyed in the code, his door opened, he motioned for her to enter, and he followed her in. “I guess I’ll take that shower and then get the candles.”

“Could you get the package first, Trip?” Why did he lose all track of thought and his insides turn to mush and when she said his name? Maybe because she didn’t do it often. He went into the closet and handed her the package, grabbed clean clothes, and went into the bathroom and stepped into the shower.

The hot water was beginning to work its magic and relax him and his headache a little. “Whoa, what the hell was that?” Overwhelming sadness. Tears were rolling down his face. T’Les and Elizabeth he could almost see them both, feel them both. Then nothing. Trip just stood there a minute trying to get his bearings again. “Oh no, here comes the mother of all headaches again.” He got out of the shower, grabbed a towel, wrapped it around himself and went into the other room. T’Pol curled up in a ball on the floor with the package from her mother.

“Darlin, what’s wrong?” As he tried to lift her up off the floor. He sat down next to her, pulled her up into his arms, and held her there. She didn’t fight him at all. In fact, she wasn’t responding at all. They sat there for a long time. Trip didn’t know how long, but he was beginning to feel cold sitting there, being slightly wet with only his towel around his waist.

“T’Pol, are you alright?” He pulled back and looked into her eyes. She seemed lost. He closed his eyes and tried to think of what to do. Suddenly he knew. He got up went to the bathroom and put on his clothes, went back, took the candles and arranged them as he’d seen T’Pol do, found a lighter, and lit them. He then went around behind her and put his legs on either side of her, sat her upright and pulled her into his chest, then placed his hands atop hers. He began breathing in and out like she had taught him during neuropressure. He got right up to her ear and said, “You’re not breathing right. Do it like you taught me.”

She became aware of the candles, stared at the flame and the cleansing breaths followed. He could feel her relax. He tried to stare at the flame and do the same, but could not. He closed his eyes and cleared his mind. All he could hear was the engine. He could always hear it in the back of his mind. When it was running smooth it was just there, but if anything was wrong it would jump right to the front and get his immediate attention. He relaxed into the sound and floated up into this open white space. He just drifted there for awhile until he saw T’Pol sitting on what he guessed was the floor. He moved himself down in front of her and sat. He looked around trying to get a sense of this place. Where was he? T’Pol must have brought him here. When he realized he wasn’t going to be able to figure this out on his own and T’Pol was not going to be of any help right now, he simply closed his eyes and relaxed.

He felt a breeze. Strange, he hadn’t felt any air moving since he’d been here. He felt it again, stronger. He opened his eyes to see T’Pol staring at him. “Are you better now?” The concern in his voice was obvious.

“Yes.” After a few seconds she asked, “How did we get here?”

He explained what had happened in the shower and after and about how he had gotten himself to meditate, but he didn’t know how he had gotten here. “What happened to you? Was it your Mom’s gift?”

“Ah… Yes and I have not been meditating. These candles belonged to my father and were my mother’s to pass down to a member of the family. It is a great honor that she chose to pass them to you and shows that she held great affection for you. The shield as you called it is our family crest. The fact that she gave that to you tells me she considered you a member of the family, which confuses me. She and I fought because of you and she made it clear that I must do what was expected of me and marry Koss. ”

“I’m not sure that’s what she wanted at all. She cornered me when I was working on her appliances, in the kitchen, and said she knew we were involved. I thought you told her, but she said no, she was your mother and could tell. I told her how I felt about you and she told me I should tell you before the wedding, so you had all the facts beforehand. I told her I couldn’t do it. I’d just be putting more pressure on you when I knew you were doing what you had to do.”

They both became aware of a tactical alert sounding and the comm, “All senior staff to the bridge.” They both ran out the door and headed to the bridge. They stepped off the turbo lift and saw a massive ship on the view screen as Hoshi announced, “We are being hailed. Captain.”

T’Pol was at her station, hands flying across the various buttons and screens. Trip was at his station watching her. She was trying to concentrate on what she was doing, but Trip knew she was having a very difficult time. He slowly moved around the room and stood just behind her, being very careful not to get to close, but close enough that only she could hear him. “Breathe, deep breaths, now relax.” It wasn’t working. He maneuvered his body so he could touch her lower back without anyone else seeing. Once he felt her relax, he stepped back.

The tactical alert warning stopped and Trip became fully aware of his surroundings and looked to T’Pol. “Trip”…”Trip, answer the captain.” , but her lips hadn’t moved. Then he heard , “Trip.” “Earth to TRIP,” the captain was almost yelling.

“Yes, sir.” Trip finally responded.

“Nice of you to join us,” the Captain said shaking his head. “Could you get to the shuttlepod and get it ready to go? ”

“Go, go where?”

Everybody on the bridge looked at him in disbelief, except T’Pol. Her face had no expression on it as usual, but there was this sympathetic, concerned look in her eyes. Hoshi caught it and wondered what that was all about.

Malcolm followed Trip to the turbolift, “You really set a bad example when you don’t even bother to pay attention when the ship could be at risk.”

“Sorry, Mal. Don’t know what happened. I’ve had a headache off and on for a few days now and I need to get more sleep.” He really didn’t know either. He had looked at T’Pol, knew she was in trouble and then he figured out what he could do to help and did it. But how did he know what to do? And wait a minute how had she told him to answer the Captain without making a sound? This day just keeps getting weirder and now Jon’s mad at me. “So where are we going and what are we supposed to be doing?”

Malcolm just shook his head and let out a chuckle, “The ship is a transport of some kind. It has a number of different species on it and their engines are making funny noises and they need our assistance.”

“Funny noises, that’s all they said?”

“No, if you’d been listening one of them tried to make the noises, but when the younger ones on the deck started laughing he stopped.”

Trip didn’t know whether to believe him or not. Malcolm might just be trying to mess with him. “Please tell me you’re kidding?”

“No, I’m not and you really need to stop by sickbay if you really zoned out and missed all that laughing.”

Once the shuttlepod was checked out Trip decided to stop by Sickbay to see Phlox before he grabbed his toolkit for the away mission. “Hey, Doc I need something for this headache again. ”

“Has it gone away at all?” Phlox ask.

“Yeah, actually it did go away earlier when I was meditating, but then it came back in a big way on the bridge.”

“Meditating, huh. T’Pol taught you how to meditate?”

“Well, she’s going to teach me. Earlier she was having a problem and I kinda did my own crash course trying to help her.”

Phlox was really curious now, “What kind of problem could T’Pol have that would get you to attempt to meditate and how would that help her?”

Trip knew he wouldn’t answer the questions even if he had any idea what the answers were. “It’s personal Doc, and it has nothing to do with my headache. I am supposed to be getting tools for my away mission, so can you help me out or not?”, asked a frustrated Trip.

Not convinced that T’Pol had nothing to do with his headaches, but taking pity on the Commander, Phlox told him, “I’ll give you this analgesic, but no more until you get a through checkup and scan, agreed?”

Just wanting the pain to go away, Trip agreed. “Whatever you say Doc, thanks”, as Phlox emptied the hypospray into his neck.

Just as Trip headed for the door, the Captain came in. “Phlox, is Trip alright?” Trip froze.

“As far as I know. I just gave him something for a headache. He should be fine in a few minutes, why?”

“Well, earlier he showed up on the bridge, not at his station by the way, and drifted off somewhere during the whole conversation with the Zellerite Captain about their ship and the problems he needs to help them with to fix their engine. I just need to be sure he’ll be okay to go over to their ship?

Phlox gave Trip this your busted kind of look as he told the Captain, “He should be fine, but I did tell him he needs to come in for a complete work-up before I will give him anymore medication for his headaches.”

“Trip will be in for that check-up as soon as he has fixed the engine. ” Looking right at Trip Archer said, “That’s an order.”

“Come on Captain, I already agreed to the checkup, you don’t need to make it an order.”

“It already is. Thanks Phlox. See you later.” Captain Archer followed Trip down the hall.

When Trip got to the shuttlepod he saw the engineering personnel he was taking with him, Malcolm, and two other security personnel. Malcolm tapped Ensign Black’s shoulder, pointed at Trip and said something to him.

“Mal, what was that all about?”

“I just assigned Ensign Black to you. He’s not to let you out of his sight for any reason.” Malcolm waited for Trip to yell something at him.

Instead Trip just muttered “the way my days been going it can’t hurt to have someone keeping me out of trouble.” Malcolm was stunned and Trip just sat in the pilot’s seat and continued to mutter to himself all through docking with the Zellerite ship.

Everyone had exited the shuttlepod and they were headed to the engine room. Trip caught his pant leg on something and as he tried to keep himself upright he saw someone streak across the corridor in front of him. Pulling Malcolm down to him he whispered, “Mal, did you see that?”

“What?” Mal whispered back.

“I swear I saw a munchkin run down that way”, pointing to his right as he freed himself where his pants were caught. Malcolm looked at Trip and then in the direction he was pointing. No sign of anyone. “Are you alright? You’ve been acting strange all day and I don’t see anything.”

“My headache is almost gone, but maybe I’m a little stressed and seeing things” , continuing to himself, “and hearing things and not hearing things. I’m just going crazy. Working on this engine is just what I need. Something to relax me and get my mind off this whackadoo day.”

As they got nearer the engine room Trip picked up engine noise. Well, it’s missing on every third or fourth cycle. No, it’s between cycles. Then he heard another sound. He kept listening trying to figure out what was causing it. The warp core was way out of sync. The matter/anti-matter mix was wrong and it wasn’t flowing right. The plasma regulator isn’t working right either. Too bad he missed the guy trying to imitate the sounds Trip was now hearing, it really would have been good for a laugh. They finally arrived at the engineering section and Trip directed his team. “Rostov and Becker find the plasma regulators and figure out why they aren’t working. Rogers and Kerry figure out where the injectors are and see what needs to be done to get them firing in the right order, and I’m going to check out the core and see what’s wrong with the mix.”

The teams went to do what they were asked. Trip got to the warp core panels started checking readouts then laid out his tools, crawled underneath it and began making adjustments. He laid down his expander and picked up the inverter. He reached for the expander again and when he couldn’t feel it he turned to look for it, but it wasn’t there. He looked up and saw Ensign Black standing over him. “Can I help you sir”

“Not unless you borrowed one of my tools and didn’t ask first.” Trip said sarcastically.

“Sorry, sir. I’m not much use when it comes to mechanical things.”

Trip looked around again and spotted his expander laying on his other side well away from where he thought he put it. He picked it up and made the adjustment he needed, then laid it back where he had last time. He looked this time to make sure that’s where he put it. He pulled out the separator, made more changes, put it down reached for the expander and it wasn’t there. He looked up at Ensign Black with a quizzical look on his face. “Ensign, did you move my expander?”

“Your what sir?” Ensign Black asked.

“Look, this is the second time I put my expander right here”, pointing to where he laid it, “and it’s not there again. Seeing as you are standing right there I assume you either took it or saw who did.”

“I haven’t moved from right here and I haven’t seen anyone sir. Are you sure you just didn’t misplace it?”

Exasperated Trip got up, looked at the Ensign, “How could I do that when I’m laying right there and I have been laying out my tools the same way for ten years and haven’t misplaced one in all that time. What the hell is the use of having somebody stand guard over me if they can’t see someone messing with me right under their nose.” Trip continued to look for the expander, but couldn’t find it this time. He saw a flash out of the corner of his eye and turned to see some little person run down the hall and around the corner.

Trip stormed out the door looking for Malcolm, Ensign Black right behind him. Malcolm was talking to this very tall man so Trip stood there waiting for him to notice him. Malcolm turned toward him and Trip started, “Who are the little people running around and who keeps taking my tools? Your Ensign swears he didn’t take it, but he didn’t see anybody else do it while standing right there.”

Ensign Black threw his hands up in the air and Malcolm headed toward the engine room. Trip took him to where he was working, pointed down, and there was his expander right where he left it. Malcolm opened his communicator, ” Enterprise this is Lieutenant Reed. Captain I suggest we call it a night, let everybody get some sleep and go at this again in the morning.”

“Fine, Malcolm. Round everybody up and head home, Archer out.”

Malcolm watched Trip collect his tools, “Trip, are you okay? ”

“Have you ever had a day…”, Suddenly he didn’t know what to say as he thought “I don’t want to forget the whole day, T’Pol and I made progress even though I’m not sure what it all means, but then the rest of it I don’t even want to think about.”

Trip heard T’Pol say. “He really must be going crazy and it’s my fault.”

“I’m not crazy and why would it be your fault?” Trip responded.

With much concern Malcolm wanted to know, “Trip who are you talking to?”

“T’P…, What? You know what Mal, I think I really need some sleep and I need to see Doc about whatever he’s been giving me for my headache because since I’ve been taking whatever it is I’ve been feeling weird.”

“You mean weirder than normal?” Mal teased. “Let’s go get some sleep.”

They returned to Enterprise and Trip headed straight to his room after deciding he wasn’t up for Phlox’s checkup right now. He put in the code, stepped through the door. There were candles burning all over the room, there was a strong smell of sandalwood, meditation cushions were stacked against the wall, and the shower was running. He sat down on the bed. “Am I in the wrong room? Can’t be I put in my code and it worked. Please can I just get some sleep and let this day end?” He fell back on the pillows just as T’Pol came out of the bathroom in her robe.

“Hi, what are you doing here?” Trip asked, looking rather tired.

“We need to talk, but first you need sleep. I’m going to make sure you are dream free tonight and can get the sleep you haven’t been getting the last few weeks.” , T’Pol answered as she placed the cushions on the floor and grabbed his hand, pulling him up. “Disrobe and lay down.”

They hadn’t done neuropressure in a couple of months, but T’Pol let him know that she wasn’t going to take no for an answer, and this probably wasn’t the time to ask how she knew he’d been dreaming and not sleeping or how he kept hearing her talk to him, so he took off his jumpsuit, removed his shirt and shoes and laid down. When her hands touched his skin it felt like little electrical charges were going through his body. He closed his eyes and began to breathe just like she had taught him. Breathe in, hold it, breathe out. Breathe in, hold it until you feel the release, then breathe out. As she worked her way down his neck and back he could feel all the tension letting go and he drifted off to sleep.

Trip stirred and started to roll over to his other side until he felt something in his way. He turned over in the opposite direction and bumped the bedframe, but was able to complete the turn, as he realized he was on the floor and T’Pol was sleeping next to him on a cushion. He tried to remember last night. He came into his room she was here, did neuropressure and he must have fallen asleep. It was 05:30 so if he took a quick shower, he could get to the mess hall, grab them each some breakfast, before anybody else was there.

When he got back T’Pol was in the bathroom, so he set her tray on his desk and sat down on his bed with his. When she came out he pointed at the tray, “I brought you some breakfast.”

“Thank you. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, it’s amazing what a good nights sleep can do. By the way how did you know I haven’t been sleeping? And what about the dreams?”

T’Pol thought for a moment, “I told you last night we need to talk and that is part of what we need to talk about, but it needs to be when we won’t be interrupted. Do you think you’ll have the engines done today?”

She had changed the subject and Trip wasn’t sure if he should let her. “I’m not sure. I need to talk to my team before I can be sure what’s up. We are meeting at 08:00 to discuss what we found last night. Also I seem to be having trouble keeping track of my tools and if that continues it will slow me down. Why?”

“Don’t you have to get a check-up as soon as you finish the engine? I believe the Captain ordered you to.”

Jon told T’Pol about my check-up. “The Captain told you he ordered me? I can’t believe he did that.”

T’Pol ignored his question for the moment because she couldn’t tell him that the Captain hadn’t told her, but Trip had when he was talking to himself about it. “My point was that if the engines aren’t done tonight, then we can meet here for dinner and then talk. If that’s acceptable.”

“That’s fine. I’ll find you after I get back here for the night. By the way could you leave one of your candles here I kinda like the sandalwood smell and the ones your Mom gave me are odorless, I think?”

T’Pol began lighting her candles and Trip realized they had been placed for her to meditate. “I’ll leave them all here for now as I was planning on going to my shift from here after I meditate. Would you like to join me?”

Trip looked up, thought why not, put his tray on the desk, and sat down across from her. “What do I do?”

“Move over here and sit like you did last time,” T’Pol said as she moved forward so he would have room to get behind her.

Trip did as she asked and she leaned back into his chest as he laid his hands on hers. “Now you said you closed your eyes and listened to the engine, so do that again.” Trip took cleansing breathes, closed his eyes, cleared his mind and there was the engine. He began to float up and all his stress and worry floated away. He was sitting on a beach with T’Pol leaning against his chest.

“Did I get us here?”

T’Pol looked around, “I have never been to a beach, so this must be from your memory. I do not like water, except in a bathtub or shower.”

“We can go somewhere else if you don’t want to be here. You pick. That white room is fine if that’s what you like.” Not wanting to take the chance she might decide she didn’t want to meditate with him he’d go wherever she wanted.

“If you like it we’ll stay here. Is this from your childhood?’

Trip became excited as he started to tell her about all the time he spent on this beach growing up. This was where his family went every summer. His grandparents had a house on this beach and they would come here and swim, and scuba dive, and fish, and play from sun up till sundown. As kids they were allowed to run and play without many rules here. Memories of Lizzie growing up started to hit him and then sadness. Trip let it wash over him for a few minutes and then he started to talk about all the fun he and Lizzie had. He talked about how much alike they seemed to be. They felt the same about life and the world around them. They were both full of energy and went at everything full throttle and wore their parents out. The more he talked the more T’Pol could feel the warm and tender feelings he held for his sister. He seemed to be letting himself enjoy them for the first time in a very long time. His arms came up around her and he buried his face in her hair and let out a sigh that sent shivers through her body. They sat like this until the alarm went off and brought them back to Trip’s room. It was 07:45 and they needed to get to work.

Trip stood up and helped T’Pol to her feet. They put out the candles, but left them where they were. Trip took her hand raised it to his lips and kissed it. “Thank you.” was all he said and they headed out the door. The turbolift stopped at the bridge and T’Pol looked at Trip and said, “see you for dinner.”

Trip was smiling when he entered engineering and everybody noticed. His staff were all worried about him. He had always been the happy go lucky life of the party kind of guy, until Lizzie. Then he was the angry, let’s kill all the Xindi guy. He finally seemed to be getting better when the rumors about he and T’Pol were going around. They seemed to be very good friends and Trip seemed to be healing little by little until he and T’Pol went to Vulcan. Nobody really knew what happened, but when T’Pol came back the tension between them was hard to miss. After several weeks they seemed to resolve their problems and become friends again. Then T’Pol’s mother died and some Vulcan guy came aboard to speak to her, which Trip seemed to like, and just when it seemed that T’Pol had dealt with that the whole Terra Prime mess happened and Elizabeth, their cloned daughter, was found, then died and the world dropped out from under them again. Trip was angry and sad all the time and that light that had just started to return to his eyes was gone again. Most feared it was gone for good this time, but there was that light in his eyes and even the way he was walking told them he was actually happy for the first time in several months, if not years.

Trip entered his office and found his team already there. He put a cup in the drink dispenser and asked for “green tea with mint “, walked to his desk, picked up his padd, and sipped his tea, while his team all looked at him as if he had grown an extra set of ears. Trip always drank coffee in the morning. Gallons of the stuff. He drank ice tea with lemon usually with dinner, but no one had ever seen him drink green tea.

“Okay, Rostov what did you guys figure out about the regulators?” Trip listened as he explained what they knew so far and what they would need to fix the problems. Rogers did the same for the injectors, which came down to replacing half of them. Trip then explained what he had managed to find and fix with the core. The team then went to collect all the parts they would need for the day. Malcolm came in right after they all left.

Malcolm had that I know what you’ve been doing kind of grin on his face. “So how are you feeling today? Did you get some sleep? I saw you and T’Pol leaving your quarters this morning.”

“I slept all night. T’Pol came by for nuero-pressure last night, which knocked me right out and then came back for meditation this morning.” He didn’t like lying to Mal, but he also wanted to keep his personal life private, at least until he knew what was going on with T’Pol. He was wary of letting himself believe that they could work things out, but she did seem different recently. No let him get close one day, then push him away the next. In fact she was the one doing all the getting close, which was nice for a change.

“You meditate, now?”

“Don’t knock it till you try it. It really helps me with all my emotions.” Trip couldn’t believe how much better he felt about Lizzie after this morning. He was actually thinking about her without the overwhelming sadness. In fact he now could recall the happy, carefree days of their childhood. He hadn’t been able to do that since she died.

Malcolm picked up Trip’s cup. “What the hell are you drinking? This isn’t coffee.”

Trip took the cup from Malcolm looked at it and said, “Tea with mint. It’s better for me than coffee.”

Chuckling, “Since when do your care what’s good for you?”

Trip thought about that for a minute. When did he start to care and why was he drinking green tea? “This morning….Look most of yesterday was really strange and today has started off great and I’d really like to keep it that way. No headache, no zoning out, no seeing things. So let me get my tools and I’ll meet you at the shuttlepod in 5 minutes.”

In the shuttlepod Trip looked at Ensign Black, “Besides watching me today you are also going to help me keep an eye on my tools, okay? I can’t get anything done if every time I lay a tool down it gets moved or disappears.”

“Sir, do you think I was messing with your tools?”

Trip turned around again to face the Ensign. “No, but somebody was and I really can’t see how I didn’t see them and I sure don’t understand how you didn’t see anyone. So today please just keep your eyes open, so I don’t have to keep looking for tools. ”

Everybody went straight to their assigned tasks when they entered the engine room. Trip first listened to the engine. Not as bad as yesterday, but still a long way from right. Then he went to various stations and took note of the readouts. He grabbed his tools and headed for the core area. He opened up the tools and laid them on the floor and positioned himself to reach as many areas as possible. He closed his eyes and listened, picturing the matter/antimatter flow as it mixed in the core. He opened his eyes and began making the necessary adjustments. Everything seemed to be going fine, then he reached for a tool and it wasn’t there. He looked up at Ensign Black to see him staring intently at him and his tools. He didn’t get out this time he just pulled out his communicator and called Malcolm. “Mal, this if Trip. Could you come to the engine room.”

In a few minutes Malcolm entered. “What’s the problem?”

Rostov came up behind Malcolm and Black. “Commander, my tools are gone. I went to clean some parts and when I came back to re-install them all my tools were missing.”

Trip pulled himself out from under the warp core and got right up in Malcolm face. “Well, at least now we know it wasn’t my lack of sleep last night. I’m missing my expander again. Does anyone see it down there anywhere?”

Malcolm was leaving, “I’ll be right back.”

Trip collected his tools, went to find the rest of his team, and borrow an expander. All their expanders were missing and Malcolm hadn’t returned yet, so Trip told Rostov to borrow what he needed from Becker, Rogers, or Kerry and go back to work. He found an expander like tool laying in a work area across the room so he took out only the tools he needed from his kit and tucked the rest underneath himself when he got back where he needed to work. The tools he needed were stuck in his waistband so they couldn’t be misplaced again. He was making the adjustments and laid the makeshift expander right next to his head on the floor without thinking and when he reached for it again it was gone. He pulled out his communicator. “Enterprise, this is Tucker. Could someone please bring me an expander?”

“Trip, didn’t you take one with you?,” inquired the Captain.

“Of course I did, but all ours seem to have disappeared. I informed Malcolm hours ago about our missing tools and he hasn’t gotten back to me yet. Do I need to send the shuttlepod back to get it?

“No, I’ll have someone transport over with it. Do you need anything else? ”

“We could use 2 more injectors. Ask Hess about them because the ones we need aren’t the ones we use. Thanks Captain.”

Trip picked up his padd and input the adjustments and all the other new data to reflect the repairs that had been made to the engine. He worked on this for some time and then looked up to see T’Pol materialize. She handed him his expander and turned and walked away with the injectors and duffel bags with what smelled like lunch in them. A few minutes later she returned holding 1 bag and her padd.

“Commander, if you’ll follow me I have your lunch.” Trip pulled himself up and out from under the core.

“T’Pol, thanks, but why did the Captain send you? I’m sure you have better things to do than play delivery woman for me.”

“The Captain didn’t send me. I asked if I could deliver your parts, as I need your input on a couple of things I’m working on. ” She handed him her padd while she continued to pull items out of the duffel bag and set up lunch on the small table she found. Trip grabbed a couple of chairs from across the room and started to read the padd.

The first item had to do with some calculations he’d made for Malcolm to recalibrate his phase cannons again. Okay, T’Pol didn’t need him to figure this out she could do the math in her head ten times faster than he could ever do with a calculator. Next, was a scheduling conflict for some repair work in the observation deck, 2 days from now. That could have waited or she simply could have talked to Hess about it and had her reschedule the work. He read down the list and realized none of it needed to be handled now and he didn’t need to handle any of it himself, there were people on Enterprise who could help her and she knew that, but he dealt with each item for her. “T’Pol, I take it that the Captain didn’t ask any questions about what you needed my assistance with?”

“Why would you assume that ?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you didn’t really need me for anything on this list and if he had seen it he would have known that. So why are you really here?”

“You needed to eat, so I brought you lunch and I wanted to make sure you still didn’t think you were going crazy.”

Trip started laughing. “So you’re telling me you wanted to bring me lunch and see if I was alright. so you made up some stupid reason so you could? I thought Vulcans don’t lie?”

After considering what Trip said T’Pol replied, “I did not lie to the Captain. I needed your assistance. I would have had waste half the day to talk to several people to get done what you did in several minutes. ”

“Okay, so you didn’t lie, but you sure stretched the truth. By the way do you have some sort of listening device on me? Oh, never mind that can’t be it because I never told anyone that. I only thought that… No, actually you said that I thought I was going crazy and it was your fault and when I told you I wasn’t crazy and asked what was your fault, Malcolm wanted to know who I was talking to. ”

T’Pol’s didn’t say a thing and Trip knew she wasn’t going to. “This is part of what we need to talk about isn’t it.? I’ll drop it for now if you promise that you’ll explain all this to me later.”

T’Pol just shook her head yes. They ate lunch and talked about the missing tools and the repairs and just enjoyed being together. Trip was telling her about the little people he’d seen running down the corridors when Malcolm finally showed up.

“Did you find our tools”, Trip wanted to know.

Malcolm was just standing with this stupid grin on his face. “Special delivery for Commander Tucker, I see”, pointing to their lunch.

“Give me a break Mal, she brought me another expander since all ours are missing and then you disappeared, we thought in search of our tools, but never came back. ”

“I did go looking for your tools and found out there are a group of kids, well not exactly kids I guess they’re more kid-like, who have been playing pranks all over the ship. They seem to be able to get around the ship unnoticed and get their hands on whatever they want, but the Captain assures me they always return what they take at some point. It seems they just want to get under your skin and when they get bored they move on.”

“Well, then we should be okay because we are managing without the tools they took, so hopefully when we get done tomorrow our tools will show up. I just can’t figure out why they would take every expander they can find? They even took the tool I was using as an expander because I didn’t have a real one. And Malcolm, you’re welcome to help yourself to lunch before T’Pol heads back to Enterprise.”

Malcolm looked over the table, “This is all vegetarian. First green tea, now no meat?”

“I still eat meat Mal, I just try not to do it when I’m with T’Pol. It turns her stomach to watch us.” He looked at T’Pol when he realized what he’d just said and knew she was embarrassed. He felt bad, even though he didn’t know how he knew that watching anyone eat something that had been alive really did turn her stomach. He mouthed, “I’m sorry” to her.

It became obvious Malcolm wasn’t going to eat, so Trip started packing the lunch dishes back into the duffel bag and Malcolm left.

“T’Pol I really am sorry. I don’t know why I said that. ”

“There is no need for you to be sorry. What you said is true and thank you for your consideration when we share meals. I did not know you did not eat meat because it affected me…Trip, you turned down catfish the last time we ate with the Captain. Is that why?”

She used his nickname again. “Yeah, for some reason I got the feeling of your stomach doing somersaults whenever Jon or I were eating meat, so I just don’t eat it when you’re at the table.”

“Vulcans do eat some seafood. I do not find catfish to be disagreeable to my stomach.”

Trip’s grin spread across his face. “That’s good to know because catfish is my favorite and while I can do without most other kinds of meats I really like it and shrimp. I’ve never seen you eat anything other than vegetarian. Do you eat seafood?”

“My father liked mollusks and some type of fish which I can’t remember, but my mother only served them when he was home. I was fourteen when he was killed, so that was the last time I ate seafood of any kind. We are taught that food is to sustain life and not for enjoyment like humans seem to believe. I have revised that belief since I’ve known you though. I now eat dessert, which has no nutritional value. I have asked chef to prepare those things I like and let him know what I do not like. He also tries to find new recipes for vegetarian dishes and I try whatever he comes up with. I find that I enjoy it and it also helps me to cut down on the supplements I must take if I eat more of a variety of foods. On a Vulcan ship I would have simply eaten whatever was provided without a thought about it. ”

Trip heard some noise and saw Malcolm returning with the duffel bags T’Pol had left with the rest of his team and the Malcolm’s security people. T’Pol picked up her padd then the duffel Trip laid next to her and Malcolm handed her the rest. She took out her communicator “T’Pol to Enterprise, I’m ready to return.” As she dematerialized Trip heard, “See you at dinner”, in his head. He smiled and walked back to the core.

The shuttlepod docked with Enterprise at 06:00. The Captain was waiting. “Trip how about joining me for dinner at 07:00?”

“Sorry Captain, I already have plans.” Trip turned, grabbed his tools and the parts he’d brought back for repairs and cleaning and headed to Engineering. When he got there he told Hess to assign crew to do the needed repairs and cleaning for morning, then he sat at his desk and sent T’Pol a message asking about when she wanted dinner and who should speak to chef. He checked his messages, answered them, and headed to his quarters for a much needed shower.

He entered his room stripped off his clothes on the way to the shower, turned on the hot water and stepped in. It felt good. He dumped shampoo into his hand and as he was working it into his hair he realized that this was the first day in weeks that he hadn’t had a headache. He washed the rest of his body, rinsed himself off and stepped out of the shower. As he was rubbing the towel across his back he smelled sandalwood. He hadn’t noticed it when he came in. Maybe it was still in the air from this morning or the candles might give off the scent even when they weren’t burning. T’Pol’s room always smelled of sandalwood, but her candles were burning whenever he’d been there. He finished drying off, brushed his teeth and shaved, then put on a pair of slacks and his red shirt. He grabbed his socks and headed out to sit on the bed to put them on.

When he opened the door he heard jazz playing softly, his desk had been cleared off, and candles were burning. He looked around for T’Pol, but she wasn’t there. He sat down on the bed to put on his socks. The door chime sounded. “Come in, it’s open. He’d expected it to be T’Pol but was surprised to see Captain Archer. “Hey Jon, what’s up?” The Captain looked around the room and stopped at the family crest leaning up against the wall on Trip’s desk.

“How did you get that?” Jon asked pointedly.

“It was in a package T’Les , T’Pol’s mother, gave me just before I left Vulcan. It also had those candles and holders in it. I’m not sure why she gave them to me though.”

Jon recognized the crest as Surak’s. He didn’t remember much from carrying his katra around, but he did remember that. “Do you know what that is?”

“Yeah, T’Pol told me it’s her family crest. It belonged to her father. Like I said I don’t know why T’Les gave it to me, but T’Pol says it’s an honor and she seems okay with it. How would you know what it is?”

“I’ve seen it before. You might want to ask T’Pol about it sometime. ”

“So what did you want?” Trip was feeling uncomfortable for some reason with the Captain here.

“I just wanted to ask if you were feeling any better? Have you checked back in with Phlox?”

“Actually I’m fine. I slept all night last night and my headache is gone, finally. I’ve been meditating and it seems to be helping. ”

Jon looked at him strangely. “You meditate, since when?”

“Why does everybody react the same way? I’ve only done it a couple of times, but I can think about Lizzie now without losing it. I remember all the fun we had and how we laughed and played together and it feels good.”

“Sorry, it just seems like I don’t know you anymore. ”

“Jon, I’ve grown up since Enterprise started out. I’m not that wide-eyed, naive, engineer who thought that exploring space was like exploring Earth. I’ve seen too much and had too much ripped from my life. I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything close to myself again, but I am beginning to. I won’t ever be as open and trusting as I was and I’ve lost some of my full throttle enthusiasm of life, but I am enjoying more and more everyday. The more I just get to be just an engineer and we get to explore without all the fighting the better off I’ll be. The engines will be done tomorrow and then I’ll go see Phlox and if he still wants to do that check-up then fine I won’t argue, but I’m feeling fine. ” Trip finished putting his socks on and looked up at Jon. “Anything else Captain?” Captain Archer just turned and left.

As soon as he was out of sight T’Pol stepped through Trip’s door. “What did the Captain want?”

“He says I should ask you about your family crest. He seemed to recognize it for some reason. He wanted to see if I was alright is what he said. ” Trip wasn’t sure why, but he hadn’t believed that was the reason for Jon’s visit.

“You sound as if you did not believe that was why he was here?” T’Pol felt his distrust of the Captain.

“He met me at the shuttlebay to ask me to join him for dinner and I told him I already had plans. I think he was here to see if he could figure out who my plans were with?”

T’Pol knew that was probably true. “The Captain also asked me to dinner and I also told him I had plans. Perhaps he wanted to see if we had plans together?”

“It’s none of his business. He’s a friend, but not even that close a friend anymore. He’s the Captain first and our personal lives are private and I really would like to keep it that way for as long as possible. ” Trip took some deep breaths and cleared his mind. “Okay, so can we just forget all that and figure out dinner, I’m starving?”

“Dinner will be here in about an hour, so what would you like to do until then?”

“Could we just sit as if we were going to meditate and just listen to the music and relax.” Trip sat down on the floor and put the cushion behind his back up against the bed and motioned for T’Pol to sit in front of him as he extended his legs outward. She sat down and fell back into his chest. He closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around her, and let the music flow through his mind and let all his worries go. By the time the door chime sounded they were both calm and relaxed.

Trip pulled the cart into his room. He took everything off the cart and placed it in front of the bed and then pulled the chair from the desk to the other side. T’Pol set one of the covered plates in front of Trip and the other across from his. She handed him his iced tea and then the plate with the lemon on it. They both sat down. When Trip lifted the cover off his plate he couldn’t believe it. There were two piece of catfish, cheesy potatoes, and the vegetable mix that she had introduced him to and he liked. “It took more than an hour because chef pulled the catfish out of the stasis unit and had to thaw it. You got him to fix this as a favor didn’t you? How do you do that? He doesn’t do special request for anybody.”

“I’ll never tell.” When she explained that the Commander had not been eating meat out of deference to her, even though he loved catfish and didn’t know that it wouldn’t have bothered her, chef was more than willing to make it for him.

“Well, whatever you did thank you. How did you know I liked cheesy potatoes?” He really didn’t know how she could know. He had gotten the recipe from his Mom and asked chef if he could make them once in a while. Chef hadn’t made them for a couple of months.

“I told him I’d like the vegetable dish and you seemed to like them too and then he suggested the potatoes. Chef says they’re just like Mom used to make? I also informed him that he could serve you seafood when I’m am present and it would not disturb me at all.”

Trip smiled. “Would you like to try some of the catfish? Seafood has a lot of protein in it and if you were to eat some you might be able to get rid of those awful protein supplements you have to take?”

“I will consider it. Just not tonight. ” Trip noticed she had tried the cheesy potatoes .

They finished dinner quietly. T”Pol kept going over where to start their talk and Trip was trying to figure what was different about her.

Dinner and dessert were done and Trip put all the dishes back on the cart and moved it toward the door to be returned to the mess hall later. While T’Pol rearranged the cushions on the floor as if they were going to meditate across from each other.

T’Pol sat down and Trip sat across from her. He could tell she was nervous. “Trip I have a lot to tell you and I’m sure you will have many questions, but I ask that you try to let me finish and then I will answer any questions you wish to ask me.”

“Okay, ‘ll try, but does this have to do with this bond thing between us? We were supposed to talk about that a long time ago and never did and I assumed it was fading away until the last few weeks. I seem to be able to feel you and your emotions and I’m not going crazy when I hear your voice in my head, am I?” Trip looked at T’Pol waiting for her answer.

“The bond still exist and it has not gotten stronger I just haven’t been able to shield you from it as easily. The more time we spend together the harder it is for me to block you out of my mind and I also seem to be having difficulty shielding you from my mind, especially when either of us sleeps or meditates. Our minds are seeking each other out through the bond and it is doing what it is intended to do and we are fighting it. That is why you have been having headaches, not sleeping, constantly sharing dreams with me. It’s the bonds way of drawing us together.”

Trip breathed a sigh of relief. “Wow, it’s nice to know I’m not going crazy.”

T’Pol didn’t react to what he just said, but instead tried to figure out how to start. “Trip, there are many reasons why this bond formed between us and many of them are because I did not follow what I knew to be the correct path for a Vulcan when dealing with Humans, but I also did not know a bond could form with a human. We are taught what is considered the basics about bonds from an early age. Our parents decide who we are to bond with and a ceremony is held around age 7 to start the early bonding process that will eventually lead to a mating bond when we come of age. Koss and I went through this ceremony when I was 7 and he was 8. When we held the marriage ceremony our bond should have started and become stronger and under normal circumstances we would have lived together for at least a year to get to know one another and allow that bond to mature. Because I had no intention of remaining on Vulcan and because there was already a bond between you and I there was no possibility that Koss and I would bond. I was unaware of the bond between you and I, but looking back Koss must have become aware of it and knew that he and I would never be bondmates.” T’Pol took a few cleansing breaths and kept going.

“The bond we have started because we were attracted to one another back in the expanse. We were doing neuro-pressure, which for a Vulcan means taking on the emotions of the partner and then we became friends. We continued to lean on each other and spend time together. After Sim told me of your feelings toward me I began to consider the possibility of a relationship with you, but did not do anything to bring that about until Amanda Cole began to show an interest in you and you in her.”

Trip shot her a glance with a tilt of his head to one side. “You were jealous?”

“Yes. At that time I did not know what I was feeling I just knew that I could not lose you. I initiated sexual relations between us because I knew that human males require mating with their partner to express their affection for each other, but I was unprepared for the emotions that were brought to the surface. Yours and mine. I was overwhelmed and had to meditate constantly to regain my control. I did not understand any of what I was feeling. I have suffered damage to the neurological center of my brain and will never have full control of my emotions, but I can learn to deal with my emotions as they are now with some assistance.”

“I assume Phlox has been helping you?” Trip questioned.

“The Doctor is the only one who knows about my difficulties and he has done everything possible to help me. The first time I required his assistance was when Tolaris was aboard Enterprise. ” T’Pol closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. “He talked to me about his beliefs and suggested there was a way to feel emotions and remain in control. He came to my quarters and started to perform a mind-meld with me. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I allowed it until I realized he had lied to me and I fought him off and broke the meld with him. Once I got him out of my quarters I called Dr. Phlox. Over the next several weeks we became aware that I had a condition called Pa’nar syndrome . It was caused because Tolaris was not an experienced melder and I had forced an abrupt end to it. At first we thought it was incurable, but when I was with the Syrannites I discovered that a trained melder could cure it. Some of the damage is permanent, but it will cause no further damage.”

Trip was looking into her eyes as if searching for something. He was angry, but he also knew that there was nothing he could do. She could feel his intense anger, but he said nothing, just waited for her to continue.

“My mother told me my emotions have always been to close to the surface, but they became harder to deal with. The expanse was taking it’s toll on everybody and I was having difficulty with my own emotions and 83 crew members who walked around with their emotions yelling inside my mind. You and I grew closer and our neuro-pressure sessions helped me as much as they helped you. After we left the Seleya and I recovered from the Trillium D exposure I had nightmares about losing control of my emotions. ”

Trip frowned. “Why would you be afraid? They were under the influence of a chemical? Malcolm told me what they were like.”

T’Pol’s voice wavered. “You do not understand. They were not sick they were just stripped of their control and had reverted back what Vulcans were like before we embraced logic. We were a savage people who lived in clans and killed each other like the cavemen of human history, only much worse. That is why we have to keep our emotions suppressed. We would destroy ourselves if we did not. ”

Trip reached out and took T’Pol’s hands in his. “I became afraid that I would harm you, so I kept my distance from you. I regained my control and it became more and more difficult to stay away, so we became friends again. Then Sim and Amanda happened and I pushed you away again. When I took you to Vulcan I had every intention of telling you of my feelings for you, then Koss insisted we marry and when I returned to Enterprise you were so distant I thought I had lost you forever. We found a way to work together and still be friends and I was content. You seemed willing to allow our friendship to be as close as possible without interfering with my marriage. When my mother died I did not know what to do. Vulcans are bonded to their parents, siblings, and bondmates. I was without a bond for the first time in my life, or so I thought. Then Koss came and released me from our marriage and I was truly alone.”

Trip tightened his gripped on her hands and felt tears running down his cheeks. “I was there even when you didn’t want me to be.”

T’Pol studied his face for a moment. “I know you were, but I did not know how to let you help me and not lose what little control I had left. When we found Elizabeth and she died I realized that I had a bond with her and it had been ripped away when she died. I almost had the Captain return me to Vulcan to seek medical help, but I couldn’t leave you. The bond was doing it’s job and wouldn’t let me leave.”

“This bond has control over our actions?” Trip was surprised.

“Not control. It will influence us to do what is necessary to keep each other safe and to keep others from interfering with our bond.”

“Is that what happened the other night in the Rec Room? I was watching those 2 crew members sparring and then I felt this poke in my head like when my Mom would stick her elbow in my ribs when I feel asleep in church. I knew you were angry at me.” The look on T’Pol’s face told him she wasn’t angry at him. “You were angry at them.” That’s why you looked as if you wanted to rip them apart and then your anger just went away.” She shook her head. Trip laughed under his breath. “Well, I guess I’m going to have to be more careful if I don’t want to put the female crew at risk. ”

“You would do the same if a male were to approach me. ”

Trip considered this for a moment and as he did “Mine” kept repeating in his head. Embarrassment showed on his face.

“Do not be embarrassed that is how it is supposed to be. I belong to you and you belong to me as long as we remain bonded. ” T’Pol explained.

“I guess I never really thought about it because while Malcolm checks out you bum every chance he gets and for awhile I thought Jon was thinking about you romantically the rest of the crew might check you out, but they’re scared to death of you.” T’Pol shot him that raised eyebrow. “The fact that I’m possessive of you bothers me, but you don’t seem to mind. In fact, I felt nothing but warm feelings from you when I repeated that in my head. Vulcan males look at their wives as possessions? That explains a lot.”

Trip was trying to figure out why they were sitting across from each other when all he wanted was for her to move over and lean back into his chest and let him wrap his arms around her. T’Pol studied him for a moment, stood up and placed herself in front of him and leaned back.

“I can hear your thoughts very clearly when we are this close. I will have to teach you how to shield them if we are to remain bonded.”

Trip was still a little wary when it came to T’Pol and their future. “That’s the second time you’ve said if we remained bonded. Do you want to have the bond removed?” Almost afraid to hear her answer.

“Do you trust me?” T’Pol ask.

Trip had to think how to answer her. “With my life without question. There is no one I trust more, but with my heart I’m not so sure. You’ve been all over the place with me and it’s going to take me some time to trust your feelings for me again. Do you trust me?”

T’Pol let out a deep sigh. “I trust you above all others. I always have and I always will. I do not wish to break our bond, but I will if that is what you wish. You had no knowledge that a bond could form between us and therefore were unable to give your permission for it to be formed. If you wish to break it I can contact a priest on Vulcan and we can go there and see about having it removed. If we choose to keep this bond it will become stronger and permanent. When that happens as far as Vulcan tradition is concerned we will be married.” T’Pol waited for his reaction.

Trip was stunned. “So we go from friends with a bond to husband and wife? What happened to getting to know each other?”

Fear was all Trip could feel coming from T’Pol. “Look T’Pol this is a lot for me to take in all at once. I want the bond to remain. I just need time to adjust to this. Human couples date and go through what my parents called courtship. Kind of like what you described that Vulcan couples do after their marriage ceremony we just do it before we get married.”

T’Pol relaxed a little. “Vulcan couples do that also. They have a ceremony then they move into a house together and eat meals together and start spending more and more time together to allow a bond to form between them. If the bond does not form within a years time they are free to dissolve the marriage and seek another mate.”

Trip was suddenly relieved. “Okay, can we do that. I know our bond is already there and I want it to grow and get stronger, but I feel like we missed way too much getting here. There’s so much we don’t know about each other. ”

T’Pol considered whether she should tell him the rest about the bond. Like the fact that they would know everything and would no longer have any secrets from each other. She would also need to tell him about Pon Farr. “There is still a lot you do not know about this bond.”

Trip was getting tired. They had been talking for hours and he really needed to get some sleep. When T’Pol became aware of how tired he really was. “We can talk about this later. You need to sleep. You have to complete the repairs for the Zellerites tomorrow and you won’t be able to do that if you are tired. You should not have any trouble sleeping and if you are bothered by dreams again just remember that I am there with you and it should help you go back to sleep. ”

” Dreams. You’re saying you were there? In my head? ” Trip face and neck were a bright red as he realized she knew about his erotic dreams. “You really need to teach me how to shield my thoughts.”

Trying to reassure him. “Those dreams were the bonds way of bringing us together. There is no reason for you to be upset. I was a willing participant in them. Shielding only works when you are awake and the dreams should stop now that we aren’t fighting the bond. ”

“Iokay, but it’s just a little weird having you in my head like that.” Trip relaxed slightly. “Can we meditate in the morning before or after breakfast?”

“If that’s what you want, yes. What time will you be up in the morning?”

“Let’s say 05:30. That way we can meditate then grab breakfast before our shifts start.”

T’Pol stood up then helped Trip up. She kissed his cheek. “Goodnight Trip, sweet dreams.” She pushed the cart out the door and left.

Trip stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed. As he laid back on his pillow he began to replay everything T’Pol had told him. She hadn’t mentioned his going to Columbia or much of anything since he came back. He wondered why. Maybe they would talk about that later or maybe they didn’t need to talk about it. Thoughts kept floating around in his head and he just drifted off to sleep feeling better than he had in a very long time.

The alarm went off and Trip was surprised that he had slept all night again. He went through his morning routine and then sat down at his computer screen and checked his messages. When he sat down he spotted something wrapped in what looked to be tissue paper, but it felt stronger than that. He unwrapped it and found a chain with the IDIC on it. There was a note. He recognized T’Pol’s writing. “This belonged to my father. He had a set made for himself and my mother. I wear my mother’s and would like it if you would consider wearing my father’s. Always T’Pol.”

Shock was the first thing he felt. He thought Vulcans didn’t wear jewelry. That didn’t actually make since because T’Les had sent that IDIC to T’Pol when she took off with the Syrannites. Why create a necklace or have one if you weren’t going to wear it. As Trip twirled the IDIC symbol around in his fingers he saw the inscription on the back. “Forever My Ashayam”. Trip had no idea what it meant. He turned to the computer and pulled up the Vulcan dictionary and typed the word in. “Ashayam – Beloved, a term used between bondmates” He undid the clasp and put it around his neck, smiled to himself, then slipped it under his shirt.

His door chime sounded and he opened the door and T’Pol entered. Trip looked at her, “You have the code why don’t you just use it and come in?”

T’Pol looked back at the door for a moment. “Now that you have told me that is what you wish I will do so in the future, but only if you do the same when coming to my quarters”, as she handed him new candles. “I brought you some sandalwood candles. The quartermaster has a supply for me and I told him to allow you to get them from him, as needed.”

He put the candles on the desk and they arranged her candles and cushions and meditated. When they headed to the mess hall for breakfast anyone who knew Commander Trip Tucker knew he was a happy man. He had a smile plastered across his face, his eyes were bright and alive, and he walked with a confidence that even he thought he’d never feel again.

Hoshi was sitting facing the door to the mess hall and saw them come in. She immediately noticed Trip’s posture and that smile. T’Pol on the other hand walked not quite beside him and very close. Well, within the boundary of personal space T’Pol usually required around herself. They got their meal and went to their favorite table and sat down. Hoshi was struck by how animated Trip’s conversation was. His hands never stopped moving. T’Pol ate her breakfast and kept peering, at Trip, over the top of her mug giving him that raised eyebrow every once in a while. Hoshi wasn’t sure, but she swore she saw the closet thing to a smile she would ever see on a Vulcan’s face. Whatever Trip was babbling on about, she seemed to be enjoying it. They finished breakfast, put their trays away, and left.

Trip got on the turbolift then turned to T’Pol. “I have to see Phlox first thing when I get back to Enterprise today. I’m not sure when that will be or if I will be able to talk him out of that check-up and scan. My headache is gone and I’ve had 2 full nights of sleep and he said no more medication until I got a check-up, but since I’m fine now I may be able to get out of it.” T’Pol reached across and stopped the lift.

She seemed concerned about something. Nervous really. Trip was amazed at how many emotions she really did have. “If Dr. Phlox insists on a scan you must let me know before he does it. ” This made Trip nervous. “Is he going to find something wrong with me?”

“No, he’ll only find evidence of our bond. Humans do not use the part of the brain that the bond activates. Only those with telepathic or empathic abilities would have activity in that region of their brain. In order for us to be bonded something in your brain allowed this connection to be made; therefore; the Doctor will see the activity there and also increased activity in the rest of your brain. ”

Trip let this sink in for a minute. This bond is changing my brain? Is that dangerous? Do I want Phlox to know we are bonded? “So I need to get out of this if I can is what you’re telling me? Phlox is going to find this out at some point. It’s not like I don’t end up there on a regular basis as both he and Malcolm remind me all the time.”

“The doctor is going to find out at some point, I think he already suspects , but this is very private for Vulcans. We never discuss such matters with out-worlders. Besides didn’t you say our personal lives are private and no ones business?”

He hated when she through his words back in his face. She must remember every conversation. He remembers everything he sees and she remembers everything she hears. “If I can’t get out of the scan I will contact you. Can I just let you know through this bond?”

“Yes, just have your mind seek me out and I will hear you”, she said as she restarted the turbolift.

When the door opened on the bridge Captain Archer was standing there looking rather perturbed. T’Pol stepped around him and headed to her station. The Captain stepped into the lift. Trip hit the button for engineering. He then looked at the Captain all cheerful and smiling , “Morning, Captain.”

Archer didn’t say anything he just looked at Trip trying to figure out what was so different about him the last couple of days. He’s happy and smiling. Ready to take on the world again. He wanted to ask about it, but knew that Trip wasn’t going to tell him anything. Their friendship had been damaged and it didn’t look like it would ever be the same. Finally he turned his attention to ship’s business. “Will the repairs be done today?”

Trip looked up from the padd he was studying. “Yeah, it should only take 3-4 more hours. Then we have to see if we can get our tools back. I have an idea about that if they aren’t returned like their Captain said they would be.” The lift stopped at engineering and Trip stepped out. “Anything else Captain?” Archer reached out and punched the button for wherever he was going and as the door slid shut said “No, just keep me informed of your progress.”

The team went back to the Zellerite ship and finished the repairs. The tools had not shown up yet so Trip sent his team to the shuttlepod and he went to his tools and pulled out the expander he had been using. “I know you can hear me and I know you have our tools. We would really like them back. I have an extra expander here and if you convince me that it will not be used in your pranks I will give it to you in exchange for the tools you took.” He waited. He knew someone was watching him, but he wasn’t sure where they were.

Slowly, a small figure emerged from behind a stack of boxes. He appeared to be a male child, but when he got closer Trip remembered what Malcolm had said. They were kid-like. He was small like a kid, but his features were older. He carried himself like a young teen though. Trip sat down on the bench to bring himself down to his level, so as not to scare him. His voice softened as he pointed to what he was carrying, ” Are those our tools?” The boy shook his head yes. “Do you have a name? I won’t tell anyone who you are. It seems they have no idea, who is responsible for all these pranks and as long as you return the items you take it doesn’t appear they are going to try to figure it out.?

“My name is Asarith. ”

Trip couldn’t help but smile at him. “Well, Asarith can you tell me why you’re so fascinated with our expanders?”

Asarith reached into the bag he had over his shoulder and pulled out what looked like a musical instrument of some sort. “Your tool works to adjust this so I can play it. I haven’t been able to use it for several rotations of our moon, but with your tool I have been able to fix it.”

Trip handed Asarith the expander in his hand. “This is yours to keep. Can I have my tools back now?” Asarith handed them back to Trip. Trip extended his hand to him. Asarith put his out and Trip took it in his, “Nice to meet you Asarith and thank you for returning the tools. Now you better get out of here before someone else sees you.” He turned and disappeared. Trip reached down, collected the rest of his tools and headed for the shuttlepod feeling as if all was right with his world.

Once Trip had put away all his tools and checked on the status of his engine, he headed for sickbay. All the way there he tried to figure out what he was going to say to Doc. He stepped through the doors to Phlox’s greeting, “Well you’re finally here for that check-up?”

Trip stammered a bit, “Well, actually Doc I feel fine. My headaches gone and I’ve slept 2 nights in a row. You said if I wanted anymore medication for the headache I’d need a check-up, but since the headache is gone I won’t be needing anymore medicine. ”

Phlox looked at the Commander and realized he was nervous about something. “Well, let me take a look at you to be sure everything really is all right. ”

Trip sat down on the biobed while Phlox checked him over. “Commander when did the headaches stop.”

“Two days ago. Why?”

Phlox stepped back and studied his face, “Do you have any idea what was causing the headaches?”

Trip thought for a minute, “Probably lack of sleep. I’ve been having trouble with dreams again. I talked to T’Pol about them and she started giving me neuro-pressure again and is teaching me how to meditate. It’s only been a couple of days, but it really has helped a lot. That’s what you recommended before and it worked and it seems to be working again.” Trip hoped he bought it.

Phlox walked across the room and came back with a scanner. “Oh, come on Doc I really don’t think I need to be poked and prodded. I’m starving. I didn’t eat much at breakfast and I missed lunch coming down here and really need to eat.”

Phlox realized that the Commander wasn’t going to sit still for a more thorough exam. “I’ll let you go if you promise you’ll come see me at the first sign of any problems.”

He jumped off the biobed like he was spring loaded, ” I promise Doc. You want to join me for lunch?”, Phlox barely heard him as Trip headed out the door.

The doctor’s eyes followed him, as he thought to himself , “He’s hiding something.” Phlox was pretty sure he knew what it was. He’d find out soon enough. One of them was bound to require his services in the near future. Most likely Commander Tucker, if his past record with away missions was any indication.

Trip was strolling towards the mess hall as he thought about T’Pol. “You’re right darlin, he knows. He just doesn’t have proof yet.”

Trip sat at his favorite table and ate lunch. Malcolm came over and sat down with him. “I heard you got all your tools back?”

“I traded them for an old expander.”

Malcolm couldn’t believe Trip had actually given the troublemakers anything. “You don’t see it as wrong to reward stealing?”

” What are you talking about Mal. If you had met him you wouldn’t have found it to be wrong either.”

Malcolm was slightly angry now. “You met him? What’s wrong with you? Who was he?”

Trip looked up at Malcolm. “I’m not going to tell you or anyone else. I promised him I wouldn’t.”

Malcolm was visible angry now. “I don’t get you. I could go to the Captain and have him order you to tell me.”

Trip couldn’t believe Malcolm was being like this over some pranks. He let out a little laugh. “Do what you’ve got to do, but I’m not telling you or anyone who it was and that’s final.” Trip ignored him and went back to reading his padd.

After he cooled off a bit he knew that Trip wasn’t going to tell him who had taken his tools and he would let them put him in the brig before he would break his promise. Trip was the most loyal person he’d ever met and Malcolm knew that if he gave his word there was no way he would break it. Instead he decided to repair whatever damage he had just inflicted on their friendship. “Are up for some target practice tonight?”

“Sorry Mal can’t make it tonight. How about tomorrow night?”

As Malcolm got up to leave, “20:00 in the Armory tomorrow.” Trip just nodded his head as Mal walked away.

After looking up the inscription on the necklace T’Pol had given him Trip got curious and decided he needed to do some poking around in the Vulcan database. He downloaded an English copy of the “Kir’shara, which he didn’t even know existed. And now he was skimming through the Vulcan Cultural section. T’Pol had been right there was a lot he didn’t know about being bonded to a Vulcan. He found references to Pon Farr, which had something to do with mating every seven years between bonded couples, but that was all it said. Mating the way T’Pol used it meant sex. That couldn’t mean they only had sex every seven years could it? He’d also read where if the bond between couples is very strong then when one died the other soon followed. There is always discomfort, but the degree seemed to depend on the strength of the bond to begin with. Couples with a strong bond could communicate light years apart. Some couples bond was such that they couldn’t be apart from each other for extended periods of time because it would cause physical harm to each. That sounded like what happened when he’d transferred to Columbia before they knew about the bond. From what he read he was pretty sure that his mind would not be able too handle the loss of T’Pol. If after they completed their bond she were to die he most likely would die also. It finally dawned on Trip. It didn’t matter what the future held. He was in this for the long haul no matter what, he and T’Pol would or could never be apart.

Trip went back to engineering and worked on the paperwork that piled up while he was gone. He hated paperwork, but it gave his mind something to think about besides T’Pol. Sometime later Hess popped her head through the door. “Your shift ended an hour ago. Can’t remember when I’ve ever seen you spend that much time doing paperwork without hearing something fly across the room or you cussing up a storm. Get out of here.”

Trip shut off the computer and stacked the padds up, headed out of engineering, whistling. His whole crew took note and they all smiled as he stepped into the turbolift. The lift stopped at the bridge and both Malcolm and Hoshi stepped in. Trip was leaning against the back wall still whistling with that stupid grin on his face. The lift stopped on C deck and Trip waved his hand “Hey guys.” as he exited. Hoshi looked at Malcolm , “What’s up with him? He has that disgustingly stupid grin plastered on his face all day and he walks around like he’s the happiest man in the world. ” Malcolm shrugged his shoulders, “I have no idea, but you’re right it is a stupid grin. I’m just glad too see him happy again. I worried that he was going to sink farther and farther into that dark place he was in and we would never be able to pull him out.” Hoshi knew Malcolm was right, but she wanted to know what had happened to turn his world right side up again. She’d just have to pay better attention.

There was a message from T’Pol asking him to meet her for dinner at 19:00 in the mess hall and one from the quartermaster letting him know the things he’d ordered were in. He took his shower, then went to pick up his package, took it back to his room and headed for dinner. When he got to the mess hall Hoshi and Travis were seated in the far back corner, so Hoshi could study everyone who came in. T’Pol was at the table already and looked up at him as he headed to make his selection for dinner. He got his dinner and iced tea and went to sit down. T’Pol reached out two fingers under the table, so Trip did the same. The sensation when their fingers touched startled him at first, then it just felt warm and fuzzy all over. “What was that?”

“It is how bondmates greet each other in public. We will need to be discreet, but it is an acceptable way for us to touch when we are not alone.” T’Pol studied his reaction.

” Not as good as a kiss, but I can live with that”, Trip smiled at her. “Hoshi is drilling holes in my back isn’t she. I know she is cause you keep trying to discreetly look over in that direction. I thought you were part of the Ministry of Security? You weren’t very good at being a spy if this is any indication”, he teased.

T’Pol’s eyebrow shot up. “Yes, she is and I want her to see me looking at her so she’ll know that I caught her and stop. Hoshi, Malcolm, and the Doctor are going to be problems for us. Hoshi senses something and you know she will not stop until she figures it out. Malcolm on the other hand is your best friend and the most dutiful security officer I have ever met. It won’t take him long with his sensor sweeps and walking the corridors at all hours to figure this out. Dr. Phlox as you know thinks he knows something and while he may not actively seek to prove his suspicions correct, he will eventually scan one or both of us and know much more than either of us will be comfortable with without any say over what he does with that information.”

Trip hated to admit it, but she was right. They were going to have to figure out what to do about all three of them and sooner rather than later. They finished dinner and headed to T’Pol’s quarters to plan a strategy to protect their privacy as much as possible aboard Enterprise.

Trip sat down on the edge of her bed and patted the spot next to him. She sat down. “I think we need to figure out the Doc first. He’s the one most likely to figure this out and he will know about our bond. Can we ask him to honor doctor/patient confidentiality?”

“He’ll honor that as long as it doesn’t put anyone on Enterprise at risk, including either of us. If we were to be separated or one of us were to become seriously injured I do not think he would be able to keep it from the Captain and neither would we. You know what happened when we were separated and that will only get worse before it gets better, if it ever does. If one of us were injured the bond will require the other to do whatever is necessary to take care of their mate.”

Trip laid back on the bed, trying to make sense out of all this. “So once something like that happens we risk Starfleet finding out and at least one of us being reassigned or worse? If that happens what would you want to do? I love being an engineer on Enterprise and as long as we’re not at war with anybody again I’d just as soon stay here, but if I have to choose between us and Starfleet, I pick us every time.”

Trip couldn’t see her smile, but he could feel it. “We are bonded and my place is with you, so whatever decision we make we will be together.”

If wasn’t hard to figure out how Trip felt at this moment. He could have done somersaults done the corridor if he’d been out there. “So we go to Phlox, let him do all his scans and swear him to secrecy knowing he’ll give us up if he has to.”

“Agreed”, was all T’Pol said. “I have an idea how to deal with Hoshi and Malcolm? ”

“Really? Let’s hear it.”

“Hoshi has a crush on Malcolm. She has for a long time now and I think he may like her also, but he can’t get past the rules so he will not act on his feelings.”

Trip was laughing, “A crush where did you come up with that?”

“I overheard some of the crew talking about it and once I began to watch them on the bridge it became obvious they are attracted to one another.”

“Your idea is to get them involved to take the heat off us.” Trip had never seen the devious side of T’Pol before.

“If they are guilty of breaking the rules the same as we are then they will be more likely to keep our secret.”

Trip couldn’t believe she had basically just suggested they could blackmail them into silence. The fact that they could actually have some fun trying to keep their relationship a secret became apparent, “So how do we go about this?”

An Idea for News Networks – Letter to Corporate Media

Over the past several days, I have watched most of the political information programs on CNN, Fox, and MSNBC that have essentially discussed issues in the presidential campaign, and I have a wonderful idea that I believe will save you networks thousands of dollars per week. If this works, I would like a ten percent cut, and I believe most of you will appreciate what I’ve come up with. I will delineate my idea in a second.

Except for Countdown with Keith Olbermann and Real Time with Bill Maher, I can no longer sit comfortably and enjoy any of the nightly news programs on any network. It seems the regular and consistent practice is to get a Clinton groupie every time we get an Obama spokesperson. If we get a Democratic commentator, we get a Republican strategist or Right Wing person refuting whatever that person just said.

In other words, we’re getting nowhere fast. We don’t learn anything on any of these shows, because the moderators of these shows let almost all comments go by unchallenged, no matter what is said. Joe Scarborough, Tucker Carlson or Pat Buchanan on MSNBC, for example, can be expected to speak against just about anything Barack Obama does no matter what question is posed to them, and David Gergen, Jamal Simmons or Roland Martin on CNN are much more likely to treat Obama very fairly or treat each incident on its own merit.

On almost every occasion, when a Clinton surrogate or an Obama surrogate appears on one of these programs to comment on the political condition, we can expect them 100% of the time to spin their answer in a way to show support for their chosen candidate. Some commentators, for example Dee Dee Meyers, can always be counted on to be harder on Barack Obama than she is on Hillary Clinton, for whom she worked with or more accurately her husband during his time in the White House.

I think at this point, it’s mostly a waste of time to place any stock in anything we hear from people representing one candidate or the other, unless their words are vetted and any misstatements called out immediately after they make them. Republican strategists, can be counted on to find fault with either Democratic candidate no matter what, and therefore their words and opinions must be discounted or completely ignored, as well.

The one exception is Michael Smerconich, who is a Republican talk show host from Philadelphia, who said on the Today Show and yesterday on Hardball said that he was in the audience and was “stunned” by Barack’s speech on race and is willing to take him at his word and is willing to move beyond this pastor incident. That position to me is stunning, and I was so pleased to see anyone who is willing to stand up and speak their mind and not be tied to typical Republican spin or ideology.

So here’s my idea: I would suggest that all news networks who present commentators to make statements about the news have guests that represent no candidate or have been known to be neutral on matters political as far as party affiliation. Or instead after the moderator has presented the news of the day, they can simply say, “And now let’s go to our comments. Pat Buchanan,” but instead of Buchanan actually being there, the host simply says, “Pat Buchanan would not believe what Obama said today in that speech.” Or the host says, “Amy Holmes,” a Republican political commentator, “would say that Obama should get off this topic and get back to his message or else he’ll be in big trouble.”

Can you imagine how much money your network will save? We already know what these people will say, so why do we need to hear from them? When I’m sitting in front of the TV watching HardBall with Chris Matthews, for example, I can listen to the topic, see the panel and then tape the rest of the program and feel very comfortable that when I view it later, I can almost word for word predict what each guest said. With all that money maybe you could investigate your own stories, so all these guest aren’t needed. News as news instead of entertainment would be refreshing.

I’m a complete and dedicated political junkie, but enough’s enough. I have stopped listening to you people and if you really think about it I feel confident that you’ll agree with me.